Help me understand the pelvic pain

so I've struggled on and off for quite awhile with pelvic pain. I had however been around 80 -85 improved since spring and doing a lot of activities again, even been under a very stressful legal situation that recently got resolved. I had some dips, but I'd bounce back in a couple days. I was fortunate to not be working for the summer, and I think that really helped me feel better. I was plenty busy just taking care of my family. And didn't feel overwhelmed trying to take care of my kids, mom, a house and a job. But I needed to go back to work full time this week.
I was dreading this and did not want to go back yet at all. I was worried about being back to work before the kids went back to school and getting everything else done. I was worried about the chair they were giving me to sit in at my desk as I felt it was uncomfortable when I sat in it once last year. When I sit long at a desk in a hard chair pushing on the back of my legs, it seems to set off the pelvic floor pain in the past sometimes. Well 3 hours into my first day, the pain started returning much worse. So I got a different chair, but it seems too late because I've been getting worse ever since. Yesterday was the worst and the pain was as bad as it was when it started a could years ago. Terrible pain! The joy that finally returned in my life from feeling better just disappeared and is replaced with fear and and sadness.
It's mostly left sided pelvic floor burning and pressure feeling.
Last night My husband tried massaging my left hip area and back of my legs as massaging the pelvic floor where it really hurts only intensifies the pain! The areas he rubbed are insanely sensitive to Touch, and he feels the whole left side ( hip and leg) are so so tight, hard and even swollen thinking it's referring pain to the pelvic floor. Yes probably. But it's so ridiculous for a chair to cause this. And I know the anxiety and worry of going back to work ( and using that chair) is most likely to what caused this relapse. I'm thinking I am going to ask to go to part time. This pain is unbearable. I don't feel I can run the craziness of my life and work full time. I thought I could but apparently I can't. I feel like a failure over it but I cant be in this type of pain. I need to hear stories from others ( especially pelvic pain) and to get confidence that the actual physical tightness on the left side is referring pain and is all just tension causing this huge pelvic pain increase. It literally happened the day I returned to work. What else could it be, but the anxiety? Please someone help me feel hopeful again. Thanks.

 

I feel your analysis is completely right. I can only add some of my experiences.

Part of my problems developed from work, especially from putting myself under pressure and having critique towards myself for not reaching all the goals we set (the other part was similar but on a private level). Adding not being able to work at things that I felt were more important, because of all kinds of interventions from higher up, made it even worse. The anxiety about all the weird symptoms threw me in a spiral downwards.
Living in the Netherlands I had the possibility to take time off as I was basically sick and unable to work. After having recovered somewhat thanks to the TMS approach, I slowly started to work more hours until I could work full-time. Losing the anxiety because of my gained TMS knowledge really helped with that. But two years later I decided that I just couldn't fight the way everything was managed at work, I slowly felt more stress inside of me and I could not really motivate myself any longer. So I had two options left, submit or flee, because the fight and freeze options didn't get me anywhere. I couldn't truly submit to this, so I decided to call it a day. It still (literally) feels like I made the right decision. We developed a system where people have to work full-time and at the same time run a household and whatnot. It is difficult to escape such a system, that's what makes it difficult to not develop TMS symptoms for many people. So you need to find ways to not let it get to you so to speak.

My advice to you:
- try to go back to part-time and slowly increase the hours. It is common practice over here, because suddenly going full-time often ends up in relapse of symptoms, especially with people who do not fully acknowledge the psychological onset of their symptoms. I hope your boss cooperates.
- instead of worrying about your chair, analyze what really sets sympotms off (you know what it is, reading your story).
- during breaks, remove yourself from your colleagues and do mindfulness/meditation. I did this the first couple of months and it really helped me to simply acknowledge the emotions that were brewing in my body.
- be kind to yourself, use affirmations during your activities, basically send yourself the message that you appreciate your efforts and that you are only human.

to add strength to the TMS cause of your hip pain, Sarno saw this pattern in most of his patients. It was one of his ways to come to the TMS diagnosis for his patients; tight and painful area's around the hip.

hope it helps and maybe other people can tell you or link you to how they managed to get better in similar situations.

 

Thank you so much for such a great reply! I really appreciate it. Do you think the hip stuff ( ( though caused from emotional factors) would refer this awful pelvic pain I feel? Meaning if we are so tight and oxygen deprived in an area, will it refer and pull on surrounding areas causing pain?

 

Yes! Most muscles surrounding your hip are connected to your pelvic bones, so it is completely understandable that there is a correlation. But do not try to think in what causes what, because this becomes a chicken-egg question when you do not acknowledge the psychological onset.
Hip pain and pelvic pain are symptoms that are often mentioned on this forum, you are not alone!

 

Thank you again!

 

hope it helps you, take care!!

 

Flare-ups can happen. The road to beating TMS can be bumpy. I had a really bad flare-up, months after my pain had all but gone away. It was so bad I thought I'd lost all progress, but I ended up on the other side better than I was before. Make sure to look after yourself and your emotional state, don't push yourself emotionally and also don't give into the fear of the pain. This will pass and you'll end up on the other side better than you were before.

 

Thank you so much for saying that!