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Help Again

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Kalo, Sep 18, 2015.

  1. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    Hi All,

    My anxiety is making things worst.

    5 months ago, diagnosed with Type2 Trigemenial Neuralagia by a physicians assistant at the ER, (I really don't believe in it) I went to my doctor who did an MRI with and without contrast on my brain and everything came up negative...

    The pain went away, only to be replaced by right leg sciatica pain..

    Well guess what, the Trigemenial Pain came back and so now I have right leg pain and this....

    What is weird, is just about a month ago my left leg was experiencing sciatic pain and it went away..

    I don't know why my mind is doing this to me....

    I have lots of stress taking care of my Mom and feel like I am the one that needs care!

    It is hard to know which program to follow with TMS!

    Everyone is different, I know for me it isn't repressed emotions from 40 years passed as I sat on the couch!

    I am stuck with taking care of a 90 year old parent with no help!

    I don't feel safe and feel loads of responsibility on me...

    I would like to know how I can just sit with my emotions and feel them rather then have them come out on my body...

    I got tried of journaling because I would come up with the same complaints..

    Any help would be appreciated!

  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    For anxiety, the most highly recommended book is Hope & Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes. She has helped a lot of us overcome anxiety.

    If uncovering repressed emotions isn't working for you, maybe you should stop working so hard on TMS programs and try something different. I can recommend the free interviews that are still available at The Self Acceptance Project. You can also join the Mindfulness Summit that starts in October. Mindfulness and self-acceptance are both important for recovery.

    But if you haven't read Claire Weekes yet, that probably needs to be your first priority. Her book is not very long, and she is very compassionate and comforting.
    mike2014 and SunnyinFL like this.
  3. SunnyinFL

    SunnyinFL Well known member

  4. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    Hi Jan,

    So you think this Trigemenial Pain is from anxiety? I do too, because I got rid of it once....Only for it to be replaced by sciatic nerve...I will take you advise on signing up for mindful meditation!!

    SunnyinFL likes this.
  5. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    And, SunnyinFL THANK YOU for the great response......I will try what you suggest...The only thing I have tried was journaling and accepting this is all TMS!!!

    What was sad is a good friend of the family hung up on me yesterday for expressing how difficult it is to take care of my mom and feeling so isolated...

    She wants me to think positive! It is funny cause she never drove, or took care of herself...Her children do EVERYTHING for her! She is dislusional!

    She told me if you don't like to drive three hours for part time. MOVE, well it's not that easy! The housing in the city is horrible now...We should of stayed when my Father passed...My brother and his great ideas and who has left me here by myself...

    Then the good friend said the other suggested is put her and nursing home and get one with your life get your power!!! This is coming from a woman who does NOTHING FOR HERSELF!!!

    And as stated she hung up on me and then called back and tried to apologize only to still blame me in her voice mail....I have not called her back...

    It's horrible when as STEVEO would say the NEED TO BE HEARD!!!!! I wasn't complaining but the pain was horrible yesterday...Between my leg and my temple and jaw and having to take care of my Mom!!! I just need a shoulder to cry on...

    Thanks again and I will take your suggested as well!

    SunnyinFL likes this.
  6. SunnyinFL

    SunnyinFL Well known member

    You're welcome, Kalo. I'm glad you're willing to try the suggestions. Please know that we can all help you progress - and, more importantly, you can help yourself a lot - if you do the SEP and try different techniques and keep doing it. Don't worry about change coming - it will in its own sweet time. In my experience, it is better at this stage to choose not to interact with people who are not able to be helpful - that is their problem, and you should only own your own issues. The friend who hung up and only wants you to "think positive" probably has problems owning her own "down" feelings, or some other issue. In any event, focus on what needs to be done for your mother and taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself, being patient with yourself. And, let us know how things progress with the SEP. Take care! Sunny.
    mike2014 likes this.
  7. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Kalo, go ahead and cry on our shoulders. We at the TMSWiki have been though what you are going through and have healed and survived.

    Sunny and Jan have given you great advice and encouragement. I add mine. TMS healing happens in its own good time, as we keep faith in believing 100 percent that our emotions cause our pain. I hope you will take some time off this weekend to relax and fill your mind and time with things that make you happy. My best friends are all in other states but I connect with them mentally, emotionally, and occasionally by email or phone.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  8. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    Again, thanks to Jan, Sunny, and Walt....

    Your words and wisdom mean a lot to me!!! I am so greatful for this board!!!!

    SunnyinFL likes this.
  9. SunnyinFL

    SunnyinFL Well known member

    Hi Kalo,

    I can imagine how stressful it would be to try to care for a 90-year-old parent with no help - it would be stressful for anyone in the same position because it is a lot of responsibility. I think I would have a wide mixture of all sorts of different emotions if I were in your shoes. Please know that, yes, it's common for current stressors to create TMS symptoms (not just old feelings from the past).

    Your post says you don't know what program to use, but I didn't see it say what you're doing. If you haven't done the free, online SEP on this Web site, I highly recommend it. You don't have to use journaling over and over again if it's not effective for you. There are many other techniques - i.e., I find re-programming very powerful. Essentially, that just means to use your conscious mind to create new neural pathways and messages to counter what your unconscious mind is doing by telling yourself any affirmation that makes sense to you. For example, some common ones are "I am healthy," "I am safe," "I can feel my feelings and let them go," "brain, I will NOT allow you to create pain any more - STOP IT." Please know that changes don't usually happen overnight; but, by telling yourself these things over and over again, day after day, things will begin to change.

    Or, another technique that might be helpful is meditation - basically, you can focus on your breathing and watch what floats through your mind, without any judgment, just noting how your mind works, and letting go. Easier said than done, but if you keep trying, and are patient with yourself, you will likely see things starting to shift. For example, you may see yourself becoming less reactive and better able to consciously respond to your thoughts and feelings in a way you choose to do.

    Mostly, please be kind and patient with yourself and keep reaching our for support. Take care, Sunny

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