Hello ....

[oneperson]

Just want to introduce myself. I don't know how much I'll post/respond...simply due to time/energy constraints.

I had success in 2000 with a herniated disc using a TMS home program. I'm currently navigating some new issues, so giving it another go. My story is of course deeper than that, and I have posted it on my profile under "My Story." It's kinda long, but it's still a very short version. I prefer to not post a long introduction post about my ailments. But can share more if anyone asks.

An added bit to "My Story"...I love the mountains and nature and woods. It's one of my main healing sources. I used to backpack, but had to give it up. However, I can ride a bike. So I pedal mainly greenways and rail-trails in the piedmont & mountains of NC and southwest VA. Biking is my freedom, which I've written about often. Music and journaling, memoir writing and bibliotherapy are other great helps to me.

Thanks....
~Carol

PS: I have a few blogs. An excerpt from one of my pieces written in 2017:

"...Unlike walking, when I cycle, I do not have to carry my body weight. My bicycle supports me. I do not have to lift my legs. They push the pedals round and round which acts as leverage to move me forward. I do not have to use my arms and hands for anything except support, steering, and changing my gears. Changing my large, crankset gears is the biggest challenge due to the thumb-strength required to push the lever into third, which I do with a grimace.
My bicycle, Olivia... she truly is my freedom.

Freedom because my body feels lighter on wheels - I do not have to work so hard in order to move.
Freedom from the concentration and calculations required to perform routine, daily self-care tasks - my mind has more margin.
Freedom from having to string together words in order to communicate - there is no need to explain anything to anyone.

In those moments - cycling the wind, immersed in communion with nature - words aren't necessary; sentences even less so. In those moments, the linear alphabet - strung into words, stretched into sentences - feels a primitive and archaic way to communicate."

~toss & ripple: Beyond words... (tossandripple.blogspot.com)

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Carol,

Welcome to the Wiki and Forum!

I read your post and your story. You've truly been through a whole lot of health issues, and I am sorry about that.

Your bicycle riding words remind me of when I had disabling foot pain for several years, before I discovered the TMS path. Being able to use a bike was huge for me. It gave me nature, freedom, exercise, aliveness... So I appreciate your poetic description. I tend not to ride a bike around town now because it is so busy and potentially hazardous. But I recall riding with a friend one day doing errands, and we remarked how much more wonderful it was than being in a car: You feel and see and smell and hear everything. You feel connected. Orders of magnitude better than being inside a glass encased machine.

I appreciate reading your words your overall sense of positivity and relaxation about your situation. That is remarkable to me. I get a sense of patience, which can only be beneficial, I think.

I think your TMS work can certainly reduce symptoms, regardless of truly physical ailments. This seems to be a consensus among classically trained physicians ---that stress reduction reduces pain and other symptoms. It is also the view of Dr. Schubiner, and you probably know his workbook "Unlearn Your Pain."

We have the free Structured Education Program at the Wiki, which I think was modelled off Dr. Schechter's workbook. I also suggest you check out Alan Gordon's work there too.

Good luck in your work, and please check in sometimes!

Andy

 

[oneperson]

@Andy Bayliss, thank you for the warm welcome and kind words and suggestions...and for reading my story.
And thank you @Ellen and @TG957 for the likes. Much appreciated.

I have not yet looked at Dr. Schubiner workbook "Unlearn Your Pain," but will definitely give it a look. I have perused the SEP but, for the moment, I didn't seem to resonate with it...though I am keeping it in mind. I'm gonna finish my Schechter workbook and then feel around and decide what to do when I finish it. I already know I'll need to do more, balancing the work with fun(!).

I've been reading quite a bit on the forum...some great stories, insights, and even controversies (which can be healthy, imo). There are comments I'd like to post, but I have to stop myself due to energy needing to go elsewhere (for now). Plus, I know from experience how I can get pulled into online life and end up spending too much time reading, posting, and thinking about what I posted; ie: "Did I share too much? Was I honest? Did I come across arrogant? Was I clear? I could probably have stated that better." Etc. Classic TMS personality! Lol

I then follow those thoughts with, "Stop it Carol!" Usually takes me about 3ish days to get through those spells. And I do much better with it than I used to. I'd like to get it down to 1.5 days then to 3 minutes!

Andy you stated re biking: "You feel and see and smell and hear everything. You feel connected. Orders of magnitude better than being inside a glass encased machine."
YES!! YES!! YES!! Connection, connection, connection. I'm so thankful that I'm able to pedal!

Due to my symptoms (the neurological, cognitive, and physical fatigue), I had to pretty much drop out of social life in 2015...2D and 3D. As I navigated the feelings of loneliness and isolation, the trees and plants and animals and insects and rivers became my dear companions. It sounds a bit out there maybe, but the trees and I regularly have conversations. Of course so do my bike and I. Ha! Good news is, beginning in 2019, I've had energy to be a bit more social with us humans.

Thank you again. Hopefully I'll be able to chime in from time to time.

Gratitude,
~Carol

 

[Andy Bayliss]

end up spending too much time reading, posting, and thinking about what I posted; ie: "Did I share too much? Was I honest? Did I come across arrogant? Was I clear? I could probably have stated that better." Etc. Classic TMS personality! Lol

Hi Carol,

I highly suggest moving some of your TMS work into defending from the Inner Critic, based on your statement above. The perfectionistic and self-monitoring superego, to me is a great deal of what causes TMS. The superego/inner child relationship is what maintains the Tension. Dr. Sarno said so as well. It is the main suppressive/repressive structure in us, putting the lid on awareness of feelings.

I recommend the book Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown for a deep dive into this kind of work. Creating an inner independence from the identity as a deficient child in relationship to a powerful, non-attuned parent figure (superego) frees tremendous energy for our own aliveness, discernment, happiness. Speaking from direct experience, and working with clients....

Glad you're here, and staying connected.

Andy

 

[oneperson]

Hi Carol,

I highly suggest moving some of your TMS work into defending from the Inner Critic, based on your statement above. The perfectionistic and self-monitoring superego, to me is a great deal of what causes TMS. The superego/inner child relationship is what maintains the Tension. Dr. Sarno said so as well. It is the main suppressive/repressive structure in us, putting the lid on awareness of feelings.

I recommend the book Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown for a deep dive into this kind of work. Creating an inner independence from the identity as a deficient child in relationship to a powerful, non-attuned parent figure (superego) frees tremendous energy for our own aliveness, discernment, happiness. Speaking from direct experience, and working with clients....

Glad you're here, and staying connected.

Andy

Thanks Andy!

I will look into Brown's book. Shame is a factor in my journey. I've actually come a long way. Yay me!
But still have more trek to go...

Thanks again!

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I still beat myself up regularly! It is a work in progress, becoming more and more subtle over time... Glad you're interested in this aspect.

 

[oneperson]

Thanks again @Andy Bayliss for your suggestions.

I decided to go with Dr. Schubiner's workbook next and started reading it on May 9th. I'll finish Dr. Schechter's workbook this weekend.

After my last post, I realized what didn't resonate with me re SEP and Alan Gordan's program is that they're online. For some reason I seem to relate better to hardcopy, tactile books with this type of inner work. And I'm a reader more than a video watcher.

I'm keeping Soul Without Shame in mind and want to read more of the sections available on Amazon preview and read more online about the Diamond Approach.

Anyway...here's what's happening thus far...

I'm still having some thoracic pain and shortness of breath (which is what prompted me to do Schechter's book again), but they have improved. I'm 95% confident they're total MBS/TMS. Just waiting for that other 5%.The fear about those symptoms has improved significantly, more than the actual symptoms. I'd say close to 100%. That's a big deal.

Other (unexpected) improvements have been:

~ Plantar fasciitis seems to be gone.
~ Carpal tunnel has improved.
~ My hip weakness and pain are significantly improved. I'm actually walking up the stairs almost normal! And I'm having to wear my support brace less. Hubby and I and my chiro/functional medicine doc are like, "Wow."
~ Regarding the polyradiculitis: My fatigue is much less and my cognitive function is improved. It's a long story, but I live my life in 12-week cycles between epidurals. Week 12 is always indescribably hard. Well, this weekend is the tail end of week 12, and am surprised that I've done as well as I have. But this needs to happen for a few cycles before I'm convinced it is really improving. In other words, it's gotta stick. But I'll enjoy it while it's here!
~ And, I'm giving up my routine acupuncture treatments. I'll just schedule a treatment if I think I need a one. My acupuncturist was thrilled with that!


My plan (as of May 10, 2021):

~I have finished reading Dr. Schechter's book, Think Away Your Pain, and will finish his Mindbody Workbook journaling program by May 15, 2021.
~On May 9th, I began reading Dr. Schubiner's book, Unlearn Your Pain, and will apply his approach and workbook after I finish Dr. Schechter's.
~ I will continue with Dr. Lissa Rankin's two-to-three times a month Zoom course (which I started in early March), Healing with the Muse, (which has been really helpful) and am attending her 6-week, 1 day/week Zoom course, Rebirth, 2021. First session was this past Wednesday and I am not disappointed.
~My chiropractor/homeopath/nutritionist/functional medical doctor is all in with me and has agreed to be my face-to-face Mind Body Syndrome coach. (I've been his patient since 2002.)
~My other docs and wellness practitioners are supportive of my approach.
~I am not giving up medicines or other aids until it is safe to do so. What if that actually happens? Well, if/when it does...Wow, just wow. It's happened before in my previous chronic illness life, and it happens in others' lives.

 

[oneperson]

~ My hip weakness and pain are significantly improved. I'm actually walking up the stairs almost normal! And I'm having to wear my support brace less. Hubby and I and my chiro/functional medicine doc are like, "Wow."

Regarding that hip:
It's the hip that had the defective, metal-leaching implant. The initial total-hip-replacement surgery was in 2008. We discovered the metal-leaching in 2016, and the leaching part was explanted and replaced. Polyradiculitis (PR, my abbreviation) onset was 2011. The PR was probably/possibly a combo of factors, but the metal toxicity apparently was a major contributor; I've had significant improvement with the PR since getting the levels down.

My hip surgeon had said I may always have trouble with that hip area due to all the trauma it's endured.
I recently realized that I think I've believed that.
But there is an opposite of that: I may also NOT have trouble with it.
So, I've been working on changing my possible belief.