Hello and help on some points of recovery process

[lucen]

Hello Everyone.
This is my first post here, I have recently (about 1 month ago) discovered about TMS.
In very short, I know now that I have been having TMS for about 14 years. It started with sinus problems that wouldnt go away, to back pain of different degrees, the usual stories: slipped disk, weak muscles, chiro, fysio etc.. moving pains, pyriformis, numbness on the leg, shoulder pain, acid reflux, gastritis... and a few others. Doctors could never really find anything concrete as the source, did back MRI which in my case didnt actually show any herniation at all, only a 'normal and minor' bulging which the neurogist said it would nothing unusual and nothing to cause any problems. So this was good, but it still took me another 2 years of chiropractors, fysio, GERD to then find doctor Sarno's book just recently. I have now read Healing Back Pain and SteveO 'the great pain deception'. I am conviced of TMS. I started also the tmswiki recovery program.
At the moment, my back is not bothering me much, sometimes after some heavy lifting or sitting I get a little sharp pain, but I ignore it and it doesnt escalate, it fades away faster. Lately my IBS starting acting up again, I was ok from that for a long time, and started to get a shoulder pain out of the blue which I immediatly idenfitied as TMS and ignored, it was gone the next day. It tried to come back a few days later, but again I igored and it went away.. so basically there is still some fluctuating things coming in and out, so im not out of it yet.

The Reason I came here now mainly, was because I just fininished reading 'The great pain deception' by SteveO and it left me with two lingering doubts.
I must say that book was truly inspirational and it clicked a lot of points for me.
My doubts, which I hope some of you might help me with are:
- I seem to have a lot of fear in me of illnesses and pain. sometimes just listening or reading about illnesses my body-mind contracts deeply and a lot of fear comes of getting it. When I was reading SteveO, there was this part of the book where he talks about that a great number of people after long periods of intense stress or anxiety, when that period ends and they go into a calmer period of low-estimulation, that many develop serious illnesses withint 1 to 2 years. The way its written seems so 'fatalistic' in a way, and that really produced a lot of fear in me, perhaps because I identified myself a little in that, as just coming out of a very intense year period. In general so far my understanding about this was that as long as one keeps attention to one's emotions and feelings, that such patterns dont happen, but SteveO in the book doesnt get much into how to prevent such 'downtime' problems.

- 'the anger that you feel its not what is causing your TMS, its the anger you dont feel' - ok, so I understand this, no problem here. But then how to make that anger we dont feel surface? when I journal for example, ofcourse I am chosing points that I know caused or cause me stress and anger/fear, and I journal about those. So I am just staying within the fear/anger that I already know.

Thanks a lot!
love

 

[MindBodyPT]

Hi Lucen,

Welcome to the forums! As you'll see, there are lots of different TMS books out there with different perspectives. Read different ones to get a balanced view. Here's my take on your questions:

-I think Steve O was just making a point about how TMS works with some people- they are very stressed for a long time, finally relax and wind up with some TMS. This is super common and I don't think he meant "serious disease." Everyone is different. Don't get worried that this will happen to you. Having awareness of your thoughts and feelings is great and will help ward off severe TMS attacks in many people, this is good. Look at some other books for more concrete strategies to tackle TMS like Howard Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain, Dr. Schecter's books, the SEP here and Alan Gordon's programs.

-TMS happens due to neural pathways in the brain. Repressed emotions like anger can trigger these pathways, as you know. You don't need to make all the repressed anger surface...it is good to journal about things as they come up, thats all you can do! We don't always have control on what things are repressed or not, plenty of people have had traumatic experiences that just stay in the unconscious. Keep journaling and being in touch with your experience and emotions, you are on the right track.

 

[hecate105]

It is also totally human to have occasional fears about illness, ageing, and all the other not-so-good bits of life. But we do need to keep it in context and not let ourselves dwell on stuff. Carry on doing the tms work - you seem to be having success - how about dwelling on that?!

 

[lucen]

Thanks, I understand, actually today while journaling about something, I noticed some deep feelings about something else apparently unrelated that I was not really aware of. So I think I see where this is going...

As for the fear, this is something I still struggle with a lot. The particular point from SteveO's book that I mentioned in my original post made me have a very strong reaction, but in general I still have that a lot. I agree with hecate's comment, you are right, but I feel in my case its too much, its above what I would consider ''normal". I also noticed that in moments where I started to feel OK, and with some release of tension and symptoms, this fear comes by itself just for that, as in antecipation like if I feel ok, its just a matter of time until some other horrible symptom or illness will appear. I didnt have this some years ago, this is something from the last couple of years, at least its when I remember noticing it.