I'm trying to figure out if you are joking or not?
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Heartbeat obsession and my story
- Thread starter Stracksstory
- Start date
I'm trying to figure out if you are joking or not?
I was able to (god knows how) speak at conferences including giving a keynote address. Go figure.
So true about work keeping your mind out of the constant worry. I am moving toward retirement and I am going to have way too much worry time on my hands.
Mani
Well known member
lol really??
lol really??
I mean, I hope you are joking. Assume you are joking. But it's equally possible that you don't really understand TMS?
Mani
Well known member
I like to think I have quite a good grasp on tms theory.
Yes, I know it’s possible to have tms whilst being able to stand in a grocery store line
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
LOL, yes, of course you can. TMS comes in an infinite variety of forms, not all of them defined as 24/7. Back in the day, "before Sarno", one of mine was sudden neck spasms which could be very debilitating, and which attacked without warning. I lived with very low grade neck pain that I suppose was technically chronic, but apart from those sudden spasms it did not restrict my active lifestyle whatsoever. Another regularly-occurring symptom was my "five-ibuprofen" headaches that kept me in bed for much of a day - but only on a weekend day and only if we didn't have any plans. How do I know they were TMS? Both of those symptoms plus the chronic neck ache disappeared after I did the work.
Mind you, when I was in crisis in the summer of 2011, the symptoms I was really worried about were neuro and vestibular plus some digestive issues just for good measure. These are the ones that still return when I'm under day-to-day stress. Like many people, I find it easier to banish pain.
There is something about big grocery store aisles with the rows of products and glaring fluorescent lights, in addition to dodging other shoppers with their carts, that really bothers my vestibular balance, but waiting on line at the checkout doesn't bother me in the least - it's a good opportunity to take some deep breaths as I resist the display of tempting treats they always have there.
Mani
Well known member
I’ve always hated grocery stores. My parents tell me i ran pale when i went shopping in those bloody malls. I actually worked in a grocery store for a bit because i wanted money and my parents always told me i was pale after work. Got heart palpitations during work and still didnt get the memo. Tells you about the kind of person i was. Just clueless about myself and my own body.
I’m really convinced about the tms diagnosis but i havent been that succesful in tackling it yet. Its really hard
I’m really convinced about the tms diagnosis but i havent been that succesful in tackling it yet. Its really hard
FIVE Ibuprofen's, Jan?!?!?!
I like grocery stories! Clothing stores are the worst. Surely must be related to my mother taking me clothes shopping at Marshall's, in the early morning time of day since she was a morning person and I am not, driving in her stale smelling car, with the AM radio crackling and the whole thing getting me car sick before we even got there. Trying to find clothes that fit. And not be too out of style compared to the kids who got their clothes at Casual Corner. God I hated all of that.
I loved working at the grocery store as a kid. I started off as a bagger and then worked in the meat room wrapping meat. Loved it.
Oddly, I've loved ALL my jobs from the shittiest to the best.
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
Well, this is why we have a forum - because there is no one way to answer this question - because everyone is so different.
I strongly recommend that you start reading posts in the Success Stories subforum, one or more each day, depending on their length. This will give you a much better idea of the different ways to really get into doing the work.
I think it's useful for anyone to take the quick ten-question quiz about adverse childhood experiences: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-online-printable-versions.27061
Even for those of us with perfectly normal and functional upbringings, it's useful to learn more about how young children can be affected by what's going on around them. Even people with only 1or 2 Yes answers are nonetheless more likely to suffer in adulthood than someone with none. I myself was startled to realize that one of the questions did apply to me, quite mildly, for just a few years - technically, my answer was a No because of how the questions are asked in terms of intensity over 18 years, but still... it served as a rich source to piece together long-forgotten memories - including ones that were quite good.
Finally, you mentioned finding Dr Schubiner's workbook to be kind of overwhelming - as did I, back in 2011. Our Structured Educational Program on the main TMSWiki.org has a lot in common with his workbook, but it's broken up into much smaller portions, designed to be accomplished in a relatively short amount of time just once a day - giving you plenty of time to read some Success Stories, find a podcast to check in with several times a week, and get through a TMS-related book on the side. I've got a list of resources after my Profile Page story to get you started, but success stories will also contain recommendations.
The SEP is free of cost, ads, or registration. The only requirement is making a commitment to doing the work with mindfulness and brutal self-honesty.
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
Yah. The headaches always came on first thing before I even got up. I'd take three ibuprofen to start and drink a big mug of strong black tea, which helped ease the pain enough to go back to sleep, then two more after waking up a couple hours later to knock out the residual pain. Followed by a very hot shower, I was usually able to get up and be somewhat functional for what was left of the day.
Oh my! That sounds awful.
I used to always joke that "Advil is god's gift to women" (for monthly pain).
Stracksstory
Peer Supporter
Thanks for those recommendations. I think this is the kind of thing I need. I need some broken down step-by-step process that I can follow. In some ways, the variety of ways people deal with TMS is both encouraging and confusing. I’m trying to find what works for me.
I keep hearing people talk about dealing with repressed emotions or anger. I am aware of some anger in my life, but I’m not sure what to do with that. Am I just supposed to journal about it or just have some cathartic moment where I yell all the things I really wanna say in real life? Plus, when I am angry about something that happened in my distant past, it’s easier to move beyond it, because the situation or person is out of my life. What about for those situations that are present and ongoing and will likely not go away?
then, of course there’s meditation which comes up quite often. I probably need to find some useful description of how to do it. A few times I’ve tried it, I have not found helpful. As someone who does not like the stillness because all I hear is my heartbeat, meditation is not appealing. I admit, I have not given it a fair shake.
oh that’s it, I will check out the program on this site in those success stories.
Stracksstory
Peer Supporter
that statement alone was worth the price of admission! Thank you! Thanks also for the reminder that my story fits with so many TMS stories, and your encouragement at the end. Those kinds of things mean so much
Rabscuttle
Beloved Grand Eagle
This is the same thing that people with OCD say regarding meditating, “my thoughts go crazy, I can’t stop thinking, I’m doing it wrong etc.” really, it’s not your heartbeat it’s thoughts regarding your heartbeat that are keeping you stuck in a loop. Meditation is the perfect way to detach from thoughts and obsessions related to the body. If we could all sit in silence for 30 minutes with zero thoughts then we wouldn’t have to meditate. It’s a skill like everything else. If you sit for 10 minutes and 9 minutes and 50 seconds is you obsessing about your heartbeat and the last 10 seconds is returning to your breath or a mantra, then that’s a massive unbelievable win and you just chip away and make a little bit more progress each time. There will be good days and bad days, much like TMS work. Don’t worry whether you’re doing it right or wrong just commit to trying each day with intentionality and kindness and you can’t do it wrong.
copying this from another thread, this is a meditation I like. I think you’ll find mantra meditations beneficial. I highly recommend non guided spiritual based meditation.
(via Google AI)
So Hum meditation is a simple, silent mantra technique that
pairs the breath with the mantra "So" (inhale) and "Hum" (exhale) to promote relaxation and focus. It translates to "I am That" (identifying with universal consciousness), calming the mind and reducing anxiety by anchoring awareness to the natural rhythm of breathing.
How to Practice So Hum Meditation
- Position: Sit comfortably with an upright spine, relaxing your shoulders and jaw.
- Initial Breathing: Close your eyes and take several deep breaths, allowing your body to settle.
- The Mantra: Inhale slowly through your nose, mentally repeating the sound "So" for the duration of the inhale.
- The Exhale: Exhale slowly through your nose, mentally repeating the sound "Hum" for the duration of the exhale.
- Maintain Flow: Continue this cycle—inhale "So," exhale "Hum"—allowing the breath to be natural and effortless.
- When Your Mind Wanders: Gently acknowledge any thoughts, then return your focus to the sound of your breath and the mantra.
- Ending: After 5–20 minutes, stop the mantra, sit in silence for a moment, and gradually open your eyes.
- Visualization: Visualize breathing in universal energy during the "So" and releasing tension during the "Hum".
- Pauses: Notice the subtle pauses at the top of the inhalation and the bottom of the exhalation.
- Routine: Consistent daily practice helps build a deeper sense of inner stillness.
Joulegirl
Beloved Grand Eagle
@Stracksstory I had heart palpitations too before I learned about TMS. I went to the cardiologist-wore the Holter monitor and everything. I was prepared for the worst news ever since we do have heart issues in the family. And I was just told I had an extra heartbeat sometimes and was given a beta blocker. That took care of it until symptoms popped up in another place because I didn't know it was TMS at the time. In 2024 I stopped taking the beta blocker and have not dealt with any palpitations or extra heartbeats. You will be able to get over this too.
Ellen
Beloved Grand Eagle
This is a good question. You will probably get some different answers to it. The way I conceptualize it is that I'm bringing something that is unconscious into my conscious awareness where I can then deal with it. Bringing the darkness into the light, so to speak. Sometimes just doing that is enough for me to get symptom relief. Or I can think of it as moving something that is in my primitive, reptilian brain into my higher brain where I can address it in a rational, more logical manner. I can then bring a more evolved understanding to what I'm feeling and put it in context (like awareness that is a holdover from a troubled childhood experience). I have done this using self-help techniques, but some people benefit from a good therapist helping them through it. You will find what works best for you, as long as you are willing to dive in and peel back the onion.
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
The SEP provides the opportunity to try out different writing techniques. Be patient!
That's one thing. But you have to understand the neurological and physiological processes involved in the stress response. It is a primitive response, which evolved eons ago in the primitive wilderness, when any sensation of stress was associated with immediate physical danger. The stress response was all about survival, and designed to keep us on the alert, always worried about danger. It included a whole set of physical responses designed to help us fight or flee from the danger - including the ability of the heart to beat faster and stronger.
The problem we have today is that this mechanism has not had time to adapt to the stresses of the modern world, which for most of us who are fortunate to live in safety, involve no physical danger whatsoever. Our brains don't know this, so they continue to provide physical responses to the stresses of work, relationships, traffic, finances, society, technology, and lately, climate disasters and world disorder. Back in the primitive wilderness we did not expect to live very long, and surviving long enough to breed was the only goal, so living in a state of fear and anxiety literally meant the difference between life and death - of the species. (We are not unique in this regard - you can clearly see the same mechanism in animals, and we know they can suffer from stress and trauma.)
In today's world, we live much longer, we are fully aware of how long we expect to live, and we spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the future. The result of all this is that we end up living in a state of heightened anxiety and stress responses 24/7. It ain't healthy!
This is what we're dealing with. The point of emotional writing exercises (which I personally do not call journaling because we are not keeping permanent journals of what we write) is to help reveal the random thoughts that are always swirling around in our brains, some of which have provoked a stress response that our TMS mechanism has interpreted as imminent danger. Whether it's rational or not. It doesn't have to be deep. Look at the example I gave of the worrying phone conversation I had with someone I care about who I want to be happy. My brain responded to the stress that I suddenly took on, but instead of rationally giving me time to consciously process it, my brain repressed the reason, and concentrated on putting me into a state of high anxiety, looking out for danger. Which eventually turned into irregular heartbeats, which, probably because I'm over 70, turned into a short-lived Afib episode.
I know this will freak some people out, but I suspect many of us have short-lived episodes of Afib, and I'm pretty sure I had one that was similar in nature and length, about eighteen years ago, but that time I waited until the next morning and they found nothing. The next time it happens I know what to do, which is, instead of lying in bed worrying for an hour while my anxiety makes the irregular beats worse along with my blood pressure and HR, I'll remember that last intake question, get out my pen and paper, and start writing s*** down, whatever is floating around in my brain. And, oh, yes, LOL - maybe remember to get a reading on my watch to prove I'm not actually in Afib (which is what I expect will be the case) and "do the work" so I don't go there.
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
PS - I am quite sure I would be SO much healthier, physically and mentally, if I meditated...
Even a couple of minutes of mindful breathing is something. And a few seconds of mindful breathing can be practiced anywhere, anytime. Stoplights and elevators are good opportunities.
Even a couple of minutes of mindful breathing is something. And a few seconds of mindful breathing can be practiced anywhere, anytime. Stoplights and elevators are good opportunities.