Having owned up to my stress, it feels like it's overwhelming me

[Tom Thumb]

I'm just over two weeks into the Structured Educational Programme. I've uncovered a lot of stressors, primarily from my work as CTO of a growing startup and due to a long and drawn out house purchase (our first).

Initially my TMS was causing pain in my wrists, that's I'd originally put down to RSI from my work programming. The pain in my wrists is subsiding, and I'm able to work essentially as before. However I feel like I'm playing a game of whack-a-mole at the moment.

Over the past couple of weeks I've had a nasty cold, a flare up of a nasty cyst (I'm on antibiotics and the pain is subsiding), and most recently I've noticed symptoms relating to stomach ulcers - although I haven't had it checked out yet, I'm going to wait a couple of days to see how things progress, but frankly I'm not hopeful.

When I noticed the signs of the ulcer (black stools, nausea), I panicked quite hard. My morale is low. I suspect that all of these ailments are caused by the TMS, and since I've started the programme I've uncovered a lot of stress in my life. So much so that it feels overwhelming. I've gone from repressing my stress to feeling completely overcome by it. Today I had my first cry since I first got the RSI and was in a blind panic about my future. It's been months since I've been fully 'well', and I don't know how much longer I can last.

Will it ever end? I had a friend who had to drop out of college from stomach ulcers, it took him 4 years to fully recover and complete his course. I'm terrified this latest development could destroy my life (as I was initially terrified by the RSI). I'm just so overwhelmed. I know that TMS is not a method for dealing with stress, rather to uncover repressed stress, but now that I've found it, what do I do? I feel like I've jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Now I've found the stress, I can't see a way out, I feel completely trapped.

 

[RussellH]

Tom, the fact that ur pain is moving around is a clear cut fact that it is TMS which means it is harmless! -easier said than felt , I know.....It will not hurt you though, the pain will
Feel real, but there is nothing wrong with your body, this took a while for me to really get and I had to see tms psychotherapists as well to help drill this in my head...but eventually I believed and then the pain lost it's power which then builds confidence, which then ultimately makes the pain lose it's power even more.... The fact that U are uncovering stress is great !! It's essential I believe to recovery,, Welcome those feelings man. Literally, when u get sad or angry ,, say to urself "c'mon bring it on" and welcome it... Fell it,, It's the body healing, crying is like peeing for the emotions lol, imagine how u would feel if u didn't pee for a full day or months even ... The more u let the feelings out and welcome and notice them, the more the pain will lose it's purpose and start to fade. Also, I would strongly look at the ulcer as just a distraction from keeping u from feeling the feelings fear and pressure u put on urself with the start up company and new house ,, I would definitely journal about how u feel daily trying to keep up with those things. I read Scott Brady's pain free for life and his journaling ideas really helped me as well as the structured program... I wrote morning and night and looked at it as my alone time and I started to heal. I wish you the best ,,, keep the faith !!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Tom Thumb, I like RusselH's reply to you. Your work and buying a new house are both reasons for stress and that causes TMS pain.
Keep working in the SEP program and it will lead you to healing. Journaling is so important in healing. It led me to learn about my
longtime repressed anger from childhood. That led me to understanding my parents and older brother better and that they most likely
had their own TMS anger. I was able to forgive them and that ended my severe back pain.

I doubt you have an ulcer. You're just worrying that you do. Tell yourself you don't have an ulcer and the worry will go away.

 

[Anne Walker]

I understand how overwhelming it can be! Try to recognize when you are creating a worst case scenario and projecting into the future(friend with stomach ulcers who had to drop out of school) and bring things back to the present moment as much as you can. I think you will find that things are not nearly as overwhelming in the present moment and instead of trying to find some big solution or a way out, focus on what you can do to just make it a little bit less right now. Often the objective to completely relax is too big of a challenge. It is much easier to think of ways to take the edge off and just make it a little less in that moment. You'll be surprised how much this will help overall. I can easily feel overwhelmed when I think of all my responsibilities all at once. And remember the repression comes from our emotional response to the stress or conflict, not the stress itself. Trusting that you can safely have these emotional responses and not allowing yourself to be distracted by the pain and anxiety instead is what is key. That doesn't mean you have to react to all of it all at once or you are repressing. Allow yourself to experience the emotions you are having in the moment and you will be alright. Whenever you are creating potential catastrophic outcomes in the future, then you are worrying and the TMS has got you distracted.

 

[Layla]

Hi Tom Thumb! Other things you can do is not be on the computer/phone too much - that can cause depression, anxiety, stress and such, there have been studies... I recently blogged about it: http://touchoffeathers.blogspot.com/2014/10/does-your-computer-cause-your-depression.html If you're a programmer I understand you do it for work, just remember to get plenty exercise, ideally on fresh air, in your spare time.

There are lots of things you can do to relax from stress, for me, it has been helpful to write down 'worst possible scenarios' and deal with them - eg. 'What can I do then?' EFT (emofree.com) or DIY CBT from the book The Feeling Good Handbook could be of considerable help too. If you have problems dealing with difficult people, there are books that help with that too.