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Having hard time

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I am going threw a up and down roller coaster of emotions one side of me is happy that my divorce is almost final and that I met someone special after so many years of neglect ...then there is the other half that wishes that there was some way to keep the family together which I know it's not possible the inner conflict is so damaging that I am always in a fight or flight my body feels like it's tearing apart pain is at its highest level it's been went to dr he gave me a script for lyrica but I decided that would set me back years in tms recovery..been threw the dr , therpist all tms healing modalities and I am worse off then I have ever been..
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    Boston I am so sorry! Sometimes our conflict is obvious, but no solution. I have moving pain right now. Our daughter got married 11 days ago, but my husbands mom went into hospice 15 days ago, and died last night. Great joy and great grief.

    I don't know the answer. I am glad you have found someone who cares about YOU! However, there is mourning over the loss of the healthy family you had hoped for.

    You are cared about here, look at your title...beloved. Take care, Lizzy
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    Sorry for your loss went threw the same with my father very difficult ...yes you are right the thought of having my family stay together pains me to know end ....I have so much bottle anger that venting to a therpist dr and family as not brought me a relief...only God can help me reach deep inside and heal...my tms pain his the gift i recieved for being a caring father and husband to a wife who did not appreciate it...MUCH ANGER
    Lizzy likes this.
  4. MrNiceGuy

    MrNiceGuy New Member

    Sorry you are in so much pain. I know that when I was at my worst, I felt the same way, and had a hard time seeing hope for my future. My hope for you is that healing comes quickly. Just be compassionate toward yourself, feel good that at the very least you know where the pain comes from, and that your life stressors will settle in time. Divorce is hard but it sounds like everyone will be better off in the long run.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  5. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you for your words of comfort yes it's been a long road with many pitfalls ..I need to brush off the dust and pick up my life and change it for the better only I can stear the ship out of the fog.
    Lizzy and MrNiceGuy like this.
  6. birdsetfree

    birdsetfree Well known member

    I'm sorry you are going through this. You are moving towards a better life but this transitioning stage is hard. Your faith in God and belief in tms will see you through. I just hope you feel better really soon.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  7. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you birdsetfree
  8. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    I'm so happy that you've met someone wonderful, Marco!
    I'll pray that the pain subsides. Blessings to you.
  9. MrRage

    MrRage Peer Supporter

    If venting isn't working, perhaps it would be helpful to write down what you are feeling. What has really made the difference in my recovery is trying to spend 20 minutes a day writing about my emotions and thoughts.

    It sounds like your situation is incredibly stressful. You might be putting too much pressure on yourself.
  10. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx but I journals for at least a couple of years and at a point it was just counter productive .. I tell myself that this is one of the hardest and most stressful times in one life and my body as been taking a beating for it
  11. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx Gigi

    It's been a long time coming ....I still need to figure out my way out of the tms maze of pain
  12. intense50

    intense50 Well known member

    Acceptance allowing being open are what helped me. Repression is not accepting or trying to push away bad memories. I by no means know your whole situation. Once I accepted that things happened and stop wishing I could go back I made room for a little more peace. For me it's like ok you can follow me but stay behind and don't bother me. I know you're there and it's OK. I wish you well Boston. AL
    MrRage, MrNiceGuy and Boston Redsox like this.
  13. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Marco. I think the more you put the past behind you and be happy in the moment, appreciating the new love in your life, the faster you will be free of pain and be happy again... probably even happier than you ever were. That could be a good positive mantra for you.
  14. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Hi Marco what if you changed the way you look and think about your situation. Such as your family is together in a new and healthy way. My divorce has given me the freedom to meet someone new and develop a mutually healthy caring relationship...my children will benefit from seeing what a healthy relationship is. How we tell our story has a strong impact. Look for the gift in the situation.
    I hope this helps you see things in the positive and helps you to heal.
    Warmly, Susan
    Ellen, Lizzy and MrNiceGuy like this.
  15. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    Omg thx so much for open my eyes to the positive side of all of this ...you are a wonderful person to bring this obvious points to a person stuck in a dark room.
  16. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Marcos, I just got a chill through my body while reading your reply. I'm so glad you are open to seeing your life differently. May I further suggest each time you go or feel yourself going to that dark or negative place, pause and think of the gift.
    You're not stuck.
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  17. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx Susan you made my month
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  18. Steve J.

    Steve J. Well known member


    You are brave and courageous to have been enduring all of the emotional and physical turmoil for so long. Be proud of the pain. It is a badge of honor that will, eventually, lose its importance. I wish you well, Marco, and many better months to come.

    Boston Redsox likes this.

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