There has been a lot of progress lately. I’d say about 70% of my pain is gone. There are even moments when I completely forget about my back pain. Then suddenly I realize, “Wait… why doesn’t my back hurt right now?”—and that’s when I start to feel a bit of discomfort again. I guess that means I still haven’t fully calmed my mind yet!
I was able to go on a 2-day trip without any discomfort, and I even joined a 4-hour program where I met new people. I’ve restarted studying a foreign language and have slowly begun preparing for a certification exam as well.
But now that my body feels better, I’m starting to feel pressure like, “I need to do something productive.” I might be feeling a little anxious because I already registered for the certification exam at the end of this month.
Since yesterday, I’ve had a really bad headache. It feels like a throbbing pain behind my eyeballs and in my temples. That’s why I’ve returned to doing SEP. Please forgive me for only coming back here when things feel worse!
Today’s question: Have you been overly self-critical lately? How, and why?
Honestly, as soon as I saw the Day 9 materials, I started criticizing myself. How is it that I’ve studied English for 12 years in school, and even in university, but still can’t understand a 1-minute audio clip? I felt so pathetic.
I don’t have a job right now. I’m not making money. The thought “I shouldn’t be living like this” is always echoing in my head. I also constantly feel like I act awkwardly and that I’m bad at talking to people—like I’ll come across as weird or even like a loser.
I have this strong habit of putting myself down. I grew up in a culture where humility was seen as a virtue. If I ever said I was good at something, people would always be ready to say, “You’re not that good—stay humble.”
And maybe… I learned to criticize myself first as a kind of self-defense—so that others wouldn’t criticize me instead. If I told my parents, “I’m terrible at studying, I’m stupid,” maybe they wouldn’t say the same things to me. It’s like that old saying: “Better to beat yourself first before others do.”
But these days, I’m starting to wonder… maybe people didn’t want to criticize me after all. Maybe I just assumed they would. And maybe… no matter what I do, if I am satisfied with myself, then isn’t that enough?
The funny thing is, I’m actually very generous when it comes to judging others. Even if a friend suddenly quits their job or school, I can honestly say, “That’s totally okay, as long as you feel at peace.”
So why have I never been able to treat myself with that same kindness?
I was able to go on a 2-day trip without any discomfort, and I even joined a 4-hour program where I met new people. I’ve restarted studying a foreign language and have slowly begun preparing for a certification exam as well.
But now that my body feels better, I’m starting to feel pressure like, “I need to do something productive.” I might be feeling a little anxious because I already registered for the certification exam at the end of this month.
Since yesterday, I’ve had a really bad headache. It feels like a throbbing pain behind my eyeballs and in my temples. That’s why I’ve returned to doing SEP. Please forgive me for only coming back here when things feel worse!
Today’s question: Have you been overly self-critical lately? How, and why?
Honestly, as soon as I saw the Day 9 materials, I started criticizing myself. How is it that I’ve studied English for 12 years in school, and even in university, but still can’t understand a 1-minute audio clip? I felt so pathetic.
I don’t have a job right now. I’m not making money. The thought “I shouldn’t be living like this” is always echoing in my head. I also constantly feel like I act awkwardly and that I’m bad at talking to people—like I’ll come across as weird or even like a loser.
I have this strong habit of putting myself down. I grew up in a culture where humility was seen as a virtue. If I ever said I was good at something, people would always be ready to say, “You’re not that good—stay humble.”
And maybe… I learned to criticize myself first as a kind of self-defense—so that others wouldn’t criticize me instead. If I told my parents, “I’m terrible at studying, I’m stupid,” maybe they wouldn’t say the same things to me. It’s like that old saying: “Better to beat yourself first before others do.”
But these days, I’m starting to wonder… maybe people didn’t want to criticize me after all. Maybe I just assumed they would. And maybe… no matter what I do, if I am satisfied with myself, then isn’t that enough?
The funny thing is, I’m actually very generous when it comes to judging others. Even if a friend suddenly quits their job or school, I can honestly say, “That’s totally okay, as long as you feel at peace.”
So why have I never been able to treat myself with that same kindness?
