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Have fun while quitting porn and heal from TMS too!

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Secret Habit, Dec 28, 2018.

  1. Secret Habit

    Secret Habit New Member

    Hey everyone - I wrote this blog and thought it may be helpful! I know things can seem bland when we are "quitting" an addiction so I hope this will be encouraging and helpful!

    I know how people get excited with the new year coming up so lets work on changing our attitude and heart so we can actually have the fun we are meant to have!

    If you read my story and some of my last posts you will know why this is something I want to post on here - I see a ton of value in learning about these practises as well as getting porn out of your life - It will be a sure help to ending your TMS struggles


    Are you stuck focusing on the problems porn is causing you in life?

    It's easy to look at the problem, the struggle, and the task at hand... I get it

    However, Its time to start having fun as you quit porn and enjoy the journey to total freedom!
    Let's talk about how you can wake up every day excited, confident, and full of self-respect on your journey to freedom from porn


    3 ways to start having fun quitting porn



    Why it's important to enjoy the journey?

    We live in a world that gets bogged down by stress, the problem at hand, and negativity. In these times its so important to re direct your thoughts towards the solution, the hope, and the truth. If we don't, we can be left feeling anxious, worried, and stuck in survival mode... This is NOT fun.


    When we begin to enjoy our journey it sparks a fire inside us that can drive us to truly LIVE every day. It brings on a sense of joy, peace, excitement, and passion that helps us see every day as an opportunity rather than a challenge.


    I love this quote as it rings so true: "Maturity happens when we choose to live in reality".


    A bit more about me and my journey to help encourage you:


    What may be holding one back from enjoying the journey to quitting porn?


    * A "WHY" - Lacking a strong desire and reason to quit
    * Fear - Lacking a game plan and running blindly towards a goal
    * Anxiety - Letting doubts overwhelm you
    * Bad habits - Letting these dictate your actions
    * Association - Being around bad influences
    * Beliefs - Letting lies consume you
    * Health - Mind, spirit, and body
    * Negative thoughts - Giving into your default
    * Communication - Keeping things to yourself
    * Support - Trying to fight this battle on your own
    * Game plan - Being reactive to your temptations



    3 ways to start having fun while quitting porn

    1. Have a BIG reason WHY:
    There is nothing more fun than pursuing something bigger than you... Anything that goes against the grain and against the path of least resistance will always take a STRONG REASON! Some questions that may help you discover your WHY:

    * Why would you quit porn for yourself?
    * Why would you quit porn for someone else?
    * Why does quitting porn matter to you?
    * What will change when you are porn free directly and indirectly?


    2. Have a GAME PLAN
    If you want to feel confident in this fight then it is time to equip yourself! I see a lot of people walking in fear of relapsing because they don't know how to combat the temptations when they come. To feel BULLET PROOF in your day to day fight, do these:


    * Write down what triggers you - Get very specific here (Places, situations, personalities, body parts, websites, smells, fetishes, memories, words, etc.) You can call this your "Trigger Template"

    * Keep a log of your temptations when they come - Use your phone or have a pen and notepad handy so you can jot down some details of each situation. (Ex. "5:30 pm at the mall... Feeling tempted by the girl behind the till at the clothing store. I had a frustrating day and was seeking pleasure. She was blonde, tall, and had a nice perfume on)



    * Have a few people you can call - We call these "accountability partners"... Choose a few people who you trust, believe, and want to follow through for. If you communicate with them throughout your days you will notice a greater confidence, attitude, and desire to stay pure.


    * Get some healthy habits in your life - What do you enjoy doing that lights you up with passion, energy, and a zest for life? Start putting more time into that! When we are doing what we are meant to do, we start to turn away from unhealthy habits. Have you ever started going to the gym and at the same time, had a stronger desire to eat healthy?


    * Have a plan of action - Planning ahead and being proactive with your triggers is vital to enjoying the journey to freedom. If you can be sure of yourself when temptation comes, you will set yourself up to limit the anxiety and fear of quitting... this alone creates an attitude that is free to enjoy your life much more. Some questions to ask yourself to start setting up a game-plan may be - What will you do when it happens? Who can you call? Where can you go?


    3. Get into community
    Ted Roberts says "We get hurt in community and we get healed in community"... Getting around people who are at the beginning of their journey, who are in the same fight as you, and who are totally free from porn is going to create a new sense of passion in you. This is going to give you a sense of life when you can relate to others, be encouraged, and ask for help. This is vital and one of the most important things to have in your life each and every week - You will start to crave the community as it is so life-giving, you wont want to miss out!


    Hope this helps someone out there! Feel free to reach out if you need any help
     
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Secret Habit,

    You make a nice "map" for recovery which could be used for many things, including anxiety and TMS. Game Plan, Triggers, Accountability helpers, Plan of Action etc. I could see using this template for repetitive stress responses I am having around a big house project! Thanks.

    Andy B
     
    Secret Habit likes this.
  3. Secret Habit

    Secret Habit New Member

    Thanks for the comment Andy! I appreciate the kind words :)

    All the best to you! Happy new year
     

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