Had an MRI and a therapy session

Well I had a piece of mind MRI on Wednesday to verify that my left leg and foot tingling and weakness, vision issues were an issue or TMS.

The MRI came back all clean for my brain and my lumbar spine showed a slight pinched nerve on my right leg...which isnt even the leg that hurts! I guess I could question if I should have had an MRI with contrast or even a cervical MRI but my doctor said if you had MS that brain without contrast would have shown it.

So now to TMS and my therapy. My therapist started out by creating a family tree on both my wife and my sides of the family. Then he had me list our three words for each person. After that, he ask me about my childhood, teen years, post college, married life etc....

As I listed out my family and their key words it became even more obvious how imperfect my past had been. It was then he explained the two sides to each person, the everyday self and the sunconscious and how the everyday self operates in harmony dealing with daily issues. When there is a stressor that overloads the everyday self it allows for the repressed issues to come to the surface and the everyday selfs "firefighters" as he calls them are unable to put out the subconscious cause they are too busy with the trigger. So the represed issues overlay onto our everyday self and it isn't until we figure out what issue we are facing and deal with it will our everyday self regain balance.

I was like wow....thats TMS. He hadn't heard of TMS but said it sounded similar. So now the journey really begins...

 

That's good news Pingman. It makes sense to rule out the physical. I'm also on that journey. At first I wanted it to be gone overnight, which I know happens for some, but I'm learning so much here, and lately I've been finding acceptance, compassion for myself, journaling are all tools which help unravel this puzzle. It beats multiple physical therapy sessions, massages, psychic healings etc. where I only got worse and became more neurotic!
Sounds like great insights with the therapist.

All the best

 

Sounds like you're on a great path, Pingman! I'm so glad your MRI was fine. And the incidental findings are very consistent with what Dr. Sarno reports - that many times things found on an MRI (like your pinched nerve) have no symptoms or do not match up with where the symptoms are appearing. Keep on moving forward...

Here's to health and vibrancy!

 

I wish I was as vibrant as Annie.
She had TMS from being abandoned as a puppy and it took her about a month of
being almost inside me before she became convinced I was going to keep her.
Se knows that but when she sees a man with a goatee she remembers her first owner
who must have been mean to her and shut her out of the house.
Police found her wandering the streets and took her to a shelter.
A few months there ad I got her.
So abandonment can be felt by animals, too, and even years later.

 

Your vibrancy shines through here every day, Walt.

 

Thanks, North Star. Like Annie, I like to be stroked too.

We may get 1-2 inches of snow this evening and more of the same overnight.
That's winter in Chicago for you.

I'll stay home and watch a good movie (probably an old one).

Last night a friend brought shrimp and cheese and we watched
"Cinema Paradiso" on Turner Classic Movies. A classic from Italy.
If you haven't seen it yet, it's a great one and Netflix has it.

 

Pingman (is that from the golf clubs, or were you a sonar technician on a submarine?)

I don't think you can see a pinched nerve on an MRI, but if there's no objective numbness it isn't pinched anyhoo.

Time to get to work on TMS. It's good that you are now seeing yourself as imperfect. Your therapist did a good job in explaining where the conflict comes from, kudos to him or her. It's the classic id-superego relationship, or persona-shadow relationship, whatever you want to call it, even "firefighters." The only thing that matters is that you understand that you haven't been paying attention to your inner needs, feelings, sensations, etc. And in that lack of awareness all your problems began. Healing comes through expanding awareness.

The want of appearing perfect is incongruous with harmony and health. Carl Jung stated, "There is no coming to wholeness without imperfection."

I was doing TMS consulting with a woman about 5 years back and after the consult she understood what was happening with her and she said to me,"I'm going now.. to make my inside match my outside." She understood the situation, and she healed completely.

Steve

 

Steve I love your posts. They help me understand what I am dealing with. Pingman comes from my love of golf and my favorite clubs.

So does TMS believe that the EGO/Superego are ignoring the desires of the id or in terms of an OCD person like me can be my impulses of my id are never stopped. So I allow my impulses and desires to run wild by my superego and that's why I am out of balance.

I have numerous repressed issues from my past from my family which I thought I had dealt with. Sure, I want my mother and family to be normal but I had thought I had accepted it for what it was. On the other hand..maybe I need to work on my personal desires like wanting man toys and doing whatever I can to get them.

I just want the anxiety to go away and wish I could figure out which direction to focus in on. I want to just say, my head is due to anxiety and it can't hurt me but with your vision its hard not to focus on it and relax to give into tension. I know physically I am fine with a clean MRI and eye exam.

 

Pingman, I like Callaway irons, Taylor Made woods, King Cobra driver, I haven't found a better mix yet for my swing. My friend's son is on the pga tour now, Jason Kokrak. Jason can pound it. I played against him one night when he filled in for the league guy I was supposed to play. I know Dr. Schubiner is a golfer too. The good doctor and Dr. Sopher both liked tennis. Perhaps they had bigger balls than us.

I'm not sure I understand your question. TMS does come from our past. Our past is where we learned to not be ourselves, through shame or fear. But you can't change that, you can grow from it though. Use your pain, not for self-punishment but to help people. Divert that energy of conflict.

It would help if you did please your id more, I suddenly realized I wasn't gaining joy from life, and then I healed. But "things" do not happiness thee bring, ye. If by "man toys" you mean females, I can't answer that. If you mean material things, they will never bring you happiness. Only your relationships will make you happy, go heal them.

Steve

 

Steve, I can't even begin to express my feelings for your beliefs. You are a true "Hero"
to all of us. My gosh!! I read everything you write, and feel overwhelmed and so much
more experienced by your posts. I truly thank you, God Bless, nancy

 

Steve I love all of them having worked in a golf shop in college. Ping being my favorite but I do have a fondness for my old Callaway Big Bertha driver. Its not worth anything anymore but I keep it for the memories.

I hope that I can pinpoint the cause of my anxiety. The leg pain is gone and had move to anxiety about my vision. I have tried to write down pain from my past. I have relationships that are strained because my whole family lives immoral lives and I chose to try and right the wrongs and lead a stable life for my son.

So far my list of things I suspect could be involved are...

• Growing up poor, I have always felt second class even today now that I have money. I would admit I have an inferiority complex but try and act like I don't.
• Man Toys are my hunting, fishing, golfing, electronic toys. When I set my mind on one I obsess until I get it.
• I have became very concerned with society.....I have been watching the hate news for years now and get mad with the politics and such.
• Work stress....I manage software teams and am typically under a deadline
• Friend....aside from family I haven't had a male friend since I have been married. Always do things with my wife and son or with my dad.
• Health anxiety (sparks my pain each time) - afraid of leaving my son and wife alone.

I thought I was happy in life and I do enjoy my job sometimes, love my son and wife. I have money and a nice home. But I never have fun anymore or play like a child. Everything is work or planned. I can find the frustration in anything I do. I love my life but I guess I have a negative personality.