I believe a lot of my emotions of guilt are surrounding the fact that I have used exercise as a way to help me feel good about myself. I had been blessed to feel "rewarded" for my passions by both external and internal motivations to push myself and work hard. As TMS set in and I have had to stop, then struggle on the journey before I discovered TMS.... And now, I have been trying to move forward and was doing okay--still having pain but able to be active. I do get competitive with myself and I find myself feeling heavy guilt for adding a little more activity. Guilt because I don't deserve it? Guilt because I still--I confess--do activities to make me feel good about me? I have had a recent on-site of pain that I'm struggling very much with because: 1. If it is the guilt surround the voice telling me I should do more to "feel good", then I really don't deserve to do it and continue... 2. If it the pain trying to break me down, then I should continue so that I can dispell the false "voice" of pain trying to make me feel un-safe. Does this make sense to anyone? I would appreciate some affirmation on this maybe just being the TMS voice trying to scare me and make me feel bad...it sure is doing a good job. Thank you.