Guidance and insight

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Robinetc

New Member
Hey all,

Hope everyones holding up well.

I’m writing here as I need some guidance, I’ve understood the TMS concept for ages now around 2 years, back in June 2021 I found out about TMS, had a rapid recovery and by October 2021 I was back to living my life again albeit the symptoms never had fully left, but I used to call myself cured.

I now know that I was never actually fully cured at the time I was going through a breakup and surprsingly that alongside the new knowledge of TMS pushed me forwards as I wasnt focused on symptoms anymore.

I had minor relapses but nothing in compared to my current relapse, I guess now more than physical symptoms my main issue would be the anxiety, depression and OCD which really showed their head fully after finding out about TMS, maybe it was a symptom imperative kind of thing.

I know that at a point I have to let go and keep living but my main issue right now is I’m TMSing about TMS, thoughts about TMS won’t stop, negative thoughts around everything in general just don’t stop coming.

I get that fear and everything are the main drivers but my nervous systems feels so unbelievably ramped up.

I’m in contact with a trauma informed coach now who healed herself from Fibromyalgia and apparently I have C-Ptsd of which I find that many symptoms are what I’m experiencing.

I know also that trying to heal etc are bad and that I should focus on living my life and I do manage for short periods and actually after contacting her I felt some hope and had a really great week where symptoms etc were greatly diminished.

but it feels like Im stuck in an endless loop, Im trying to force hope and force many things but its all useless.

The concept of letting go and surrendering is also so paradoxical I just don’t know what to do anymore.

How can I live my life if TMS is all I think about? Its so nefarious literally, I know I can get out of it somehow but once I fall into these depressive states the thoughts take a turn for the worse I want to focus on being able to live but I dont even know who I am anymore, I feel like a shell.

I know theres nothing physically to heal but I feel so broken in every aspect of my life, Im still only 25 and apart from all of this Im having a quarter life crisis, I had to move out my family house due to a toxic environment and its been a month now and although its helped I feel so stuck.

Another thing for example which really worries me is I cant even do visualization when I try visualize a happy scenario my brain literally imagines myself on fire or something really gruesome, it feels like theres an extremely self destructive part trying to completely kill me.

Ive seen alot of posts which have said that when they got stuck the way out was to let go and just focus on living again, but I cant grasp this on a deep level.

Please let me know if you have any thoughts about this any guidance would be appreciated.
 
On a more positive note I guess I DO have moments where mindset clicks and I manage to stick to it for like a week and symptoms start to move about etc so Its not all doom and gloom
 
Robinetc said:
my main issue would be the anxiety, depression and OCD which really showed their head fully after finding out about TMS, maybe it was a symptom imperative kind of thing.
Click to expand...
If these are symptoms you've not encountered to any serious extent so far in your life, it's highly likely that yes, they are a symptom imperative kind of thing. Sarno and others have very definitely recognized that anxiety, depression and OCD are TMS equivalents, therefore there's no reason they can't be part of the symptom imperative, and in fact we have a lot of evidence here on the Forum that this is an extremely common experience.

All that being said, you've got some work to do. Many people are in a similar situation, which is that you gained TMS knowledge and recovered quite quickly from previous TMS symptoms. This doesn't last, due to the reality of our lives which is that they are complicated, and they contain stress, loss, pain, and multiple sources of rage. This is more true in the last 8 years or so than I think it's ever been for many of us who are alive today.

You MUST control your anxiety, you must control your response to stress, and above all you must put a stop to the incessant squirrel cage of negative chatter which is produced by your fearful primitive TMS brain. You must also be able to create a practice of love and compassion for yourself.

This last one is often the hardest one for people to accomplish. The key to this is to reject any ideas that you are a victim, and create a completely different story for yourself. I would invite you to look at the number of times and the context in which you have used the word BUT. I call this the Yes, But... Syndrome, and it is a TMS brain trick designed to keep you stuck. I also associate YBS with victimhood, after years of observation in this work, and I firmly believe that victimhood is the worst block against recovery. It is absolutely a TMS mind trick, and I urge you not to fall for it. Just say NO to Yes, But... !

Recovery is absolutely possible, but it can't be done without accomplishing these things. That's your focus, that's your goal. Your trauma coach should be able to work with you on these things and help you with a plan of action. Other people here can recommend all kinds of resources. Just let us know how this resonates and we can get started.
 
Hi Jan, thanks for your reply and yes what you said about victimhood particularly makes sense, theres alot for me to learn , to change and to develop within my character, a metamorphosis of sorts!

thanks for the thorough reply again jan!
 
ACKNOWLEDGE and ACCEPT are two powerful words to adopt. The great Claire Weekes can help you incorporate these two concepts in her life-saving little book Hope and Help for Your Nerves. There's your first suggestion :)
 
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