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Grief and flare of symptoms

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Freeange, Jul 25, 2016.

  1. Freeange

    Freeange Peer Supporter

    Hi All

    My dog of 16 years died last week and ever since my fibro has flared horribly. I've been talking to my brain saying that these emotions don't need to cause pain but it's not working. I'm getting anxious about the pain. Not sure what to do. Sad and discouraged...
     
  2. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    I'm so VERY sorry, Freeange.
    Sometimes my subC responds to a get tough attitude as in "Get the hell out of my _______ (head, hints, back, feet, whatever.)"
    At other times, a gentler approach works: "I know you're think you're trying to protect me, but this isn't a healthy way of doing so. Let me feel the feelings and process them as I need to. I don't need you to distract me with pain."

    Don't give up. Grief is a language all its own. You WILL pull through this.
    Blessings to you.
     
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  3. Freeange

    Freeange Peer Supporter

    Thank you Gigi. That is very helpful. I appreciate your suggestions very much. They really spoke to me especially your phrasing around the gentler approach.

    XoxO
    Freeange
     
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  4. karinabrown

    karinabrown Well known member

    Hi freeange,

    so sorry to hear about your lost!
    16 years is a big part of your life and grieve about that is normal and maybe asking for some "space"?

    (note : my dog is 12 years and yet i fear the day already he will have to leave us)
    when i lost my dad, really took time to think about him and remember things
    it hurted more more i needed to do that<
    listened to music and "made" myself cry and remember and grieve
    I felt really i needed to do that to let those feelings come out and give them a place
    and also allow them to be there
    i also wrote stuff down in that period
    in fact : it is good i now remember i did that at the time : because tms was not a big issue in that periode of my life strangly
    or maybe : not so strange because i took time to let my emotions just flow (also good to remind myself of that now)
    maybe you can try that too?
    just give yourself some space to grieve..think about your dog and alow yourself to be sad?
    let those feelings just come and go
    wish you well

    karina
     
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  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear your doggie friend passed. At times like these it's no surprise that pain flares because your nervous system must be overwhelmed by grief.

    I echo Gigi's words on gentleness. Simply look after yourself and grieve freely. Sometimes I think pain flares around intense emotional experiences because we lack the support from others we feel we need. Being strong and putting on a brave face is another layer of anxiety-producing nonsense you don't need. Be with people who love you and who will let you express yourself. And you have us too.

    Sending you much love,

    Plum x
     

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