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Got in argument and can barely walk

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Guero Triste, Sep 5, 2021.

  1. Guero Triste

    Guero Triste Peer Supporter

    I did something stupid that hurt my wife’s feelings. She is super pissed at me, and now I can barely walk. The usual FM numbness and tingling times 300%. Very scary.

    Anyone else had this happen?
     
  2. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    This specific scenario has not happened to me, but there is nothing surprising about it - it is another indication that what you have is TMS. I hope you can sort it out with your wife, and both of you would feel better after the situation is resolved. Best of luck!
     
  3. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I hope this would help you. Dr Gabor Mate is the best.

     
  4. Guero Triste

    Guero Triste Peer Supporter

    Thanks Tamara I will check it out.

    Feeling some better today. Still not all resolved. But good lord did the pain hammer me. I used the time in bed to read a bunch of mind body stuff.
     
    TG957 likes this.
  5. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    One of the worst relapses I had in 20+ years of being pain free was right after an argument with a GF. She had been taking advantage of my time and good nature and I had finally had enough and told her so. She threw a cup of Iced coffee all over me. I was so shocked she would do something that psycho, I actually didn't react at all (note). I dropped her off and went to the Job estimate I was on my way too (embarrassed that I was all wet)
    After stewing on it for 48 hours I went into spasm all over my body...actually worse than before I learned about Sarno. It was excruciating. It hit in the evening when I was tired too, so I couldn't do my usual writing and raging.
    In the morning I crawled to a desk and began the Unwinding of the anger....the pain was largely gone in a few hours and it was totally gone in 2 days, BUT it was a great example of how "doing the right thing" can sometimes be a TMS trigger.

    In context of Sarno's work, the unconscious child in me was in a RAGE that the conscious me not only didn't fight back, but actually still worried about HER wellbeing. (TMS personality)

    I have maybe had a dozen relapses for a few days since '99. Many of them have been around my problems with women. I think our cultural imperative of 'never hit a woman' is a rage maker to the unconscious cause a lot of them have sure hit me, thrown stuff on me, keyed my car, etc.... the unfairness of the cultural imperative is obvious.

    One of the repeating 'anger dumps' that has helped is 'F-ck Chivalry'. Reading "red pill" articles has helped too.
     
    Aimee88 likes this.
  6. Guero Triste

    Guero Triste Peer Supporter

    Thanks for reply Baseball65. It's amazing what TMS can do. Hell I wonder if some heart attacks are TMS.

    What was really bad here is the guilt I feel. Guilt and shame are huge triggers for me. Solution is twofold. One- be thoughtful with thoughts/words/actions. Two be forgiving to yourself when you mess up.
     
  7. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I just did a thorough review of "Mindbody Principle."... Remember. These are 'perceived Emotions' and Not what Sarno and Coen thought cause TMS... it's our internal repressed anger about having any guilt....I don't think the unconscious feels shame either...only anger for it's causes.

    I have , through doing the 12 steps, become relatively civil and agreeable out in the 'normal' world we all experience. I got into an argument with a client today as a matter of fact, and immediately had to review my actions and then apologize..THAT is enraging to the unconscious I don't really ever experience.

    So... I had a little deal over the last few weeks and I really have to Imagine and Postulate what goes on down there, because I don't think we ever actually know in real time.... I spent several mornings making lists of the ones I know to send a message down here "hey... I know what you're up to!"..But Sarno says that that is the only therapeutic value of them...if not, all my bitter angry friends would be pain free...and they are not!

    There seems to be about a 3 day to two week disconnect between them.(conscious to unconscious) I have aborted some attacks in minutes, some a day, but this one was stickier....because I have become a 'nicer' guy (Damn Him!)
     
    backhand, Ellen and Aimee88 like this.
  8. PrincessPragmatist

    PrincessPragmatist New Member

    Yes, I've had symptom flares from arguments, but that's in the distant past. I think that because we're vulerable to becoming completely disabled by TMS, we need to address all aspects of what may provoke symptoms - including our choices of behaviours, relationships, jobs, etc. All of these can impact our health more than they do with the general population, and we need to be aware of that. I'm more fortunate than most in the past few years in that I have the luxury of choice in my relationships and work. But then again, I've deliberately planned my life out that way. For emotional, physical, and spiritual reasons, I simply can't behave in ways that will seriously upset the balance of my life because life itself presents us with ample, existential pain (deaths of loved ones, layoffs, COVID-19) no matter what choices we make. For me, it's vital to avoid doing anything in the heat of the moment that I'll regret later, and also to avoid any relationship with the potential for abuse of any kind (been there, done that - again and again).

    Currently, it so happens that I'm preparing myself to set some boundaries and establish ground rules with a difficult person who will likely always be part of my life. In this situation, setting the boundary is of equal importance to treating her with respect. If I don't do both, I will pay for it later with pain, guilt, self-doubt, shame, or anguish. And it's going to be quite a challenge for me because she's a member of a cult with all the corollary irrationalities, delusions, and aggression.

    Oh boy.... wish me luck, y'all....
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2021

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