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Going to first mediation meeting with wife.

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Apr 28, 2015.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    This is my first meeting today with our mediator regarding our divorce, last night I experienced much pain in my feet I wanted to run to the med cabinet. I have been off Gabapentin for a full 3 weeks and not looking back.

    But I am still on my anxiety/depression med 5mg of Lexapro and .5mg of lorazapan as needed maybe 2 a week. But this morning I feel I want to swallow both bottles I feet and legs are killing me. Deep breathes and hugging my dogs have put out some flames.

    Any opinion from my tms family.
     
  2. Peggy

    Peggy Well known member

    Pain means change. Either something needs to change or is going to change. It looks like you are at the going to change part. It takes a lot of courage to mediate your troubles. Congratulations for getting this far. It sounds like things are getting worse for a little while, but they will get better eventually, as you deal with the emotions that come up with these attempts at communication. Be kind to yourself and remember that your feelings are important too.
     
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you so much for your thoughts yes I am going to be going threw the gates of hell and the only way out is the other side. I am going to be kind to myself and give myself whatever it needs
     
    Peggy likes this.
  4. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Boston,
    Sounds like you are doing really well with all the difficult change in your life. You got off Gabapentin, which is a major success. And you are taking an important step in dealing with your relationship issues. And you are still remembering to breathe and to focus outside yourself, like on your dogs. Keep up the good work! Be extra kind to yourself. You are strong and resilient.

    Namaste.
     
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Boston,
    Good luck with this tough patch right now. Sounds like you are using the right stuff: hugging dogs instead of dangerous chemicals. I was on that Gabapentin for a while, and it was a mind-numb-er. So on top of everything else, I can imagine you are feeling more, when part of you wants to feel a lot less! We each find our own way, and you are finding yours! Sending Many blessings your way.
    Andy B.
     
  6. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx Andy I need it .
     
  7. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Boston Redsox. No wonder you have anxiety and are in pain.
    Going through a divorce is considered one of the biggest reasons for TMS.

    It's good that you are doing deep breathing and hugging your dogs.
    My darling Annie has helped me cope with a lot over the past 13 years
    my first two dogs before her.

    One of my best friends divorced his wife two years ago and is a happy man again.
    Dating but not planning to marry again. His three kids are all grown up and living away.

    Another good friend has just begun the process of divorcing his wife and feels
    relief already, even though he has just begun the mediation process.

    And some of my other best friends and cousins and nieces and nephews have divorced and married again
    and are very happy with their new mates, partners. So it can work very well the second time around.
    Or even the third.

    I am a lifelong bachelor at 84 and am still glad I chose not to marry or have children.
    I would not have made a good husband or father, but I make a great friend to women,
    men, and uncle to young people of all ages.
     
  8. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    There is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Be as happy as you can.
     
  9. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx walt for your words of widow always…and it sounds like you are the smart one.
     

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