Day 1 Getting started

[oceana15]

Hello, everyone! First post... here it goes.

I found this Wiki after enduring the physical symptoms of plantar fasciitis for a month. A month before my wedding, that is. Tomorrow, May 1st, I'm getting married. These final weeks of wedding planning have been difficult, as I've hobbled from place to place trying to get everything done. I've googled "get rid of plantar fasciitis" and "how to walk with foot pain" and "heel pain relief" a MILLION times. Only to get more terrified as I read stories of people with years of foot pain and disability. Eventually I got the bright idea to google "plantar fasciitis and anxiety" and that's how I came across this Wiki. I'm a perfectionist and an obsessive worrier. I have trouble saying "no" to people and my thinking is always (or very frequently) catastrophic. I'm extremely analytical, detail-oriented, and compulsive about things being a certain ("right") way. I've done all kinds of therapy throughout the years to cope -- psychoanalysis as a child, cognitive behavioral therapy and Jungian analysis in college, more spiritual-based therapy now as an adult. So I've always suspected that my physical ailments (or most of them) were related to my emotions. I've had the following conditions, in no particular order:

- Unexplained allergies (testing done twice; all results were negative)
- Full-body hives that erupt during stressful times (especially when I'm having trouble saying "no" to something/someone or over-exerting myself)
- Gastritis (I had a scary episode in high school where I was rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery, but once the doctor came over and poked me in the stomach to find the source of the pain, it magically disappeared)
- Knee pain (the first time for 8-10 months, and then recurring)
- Severe, chronic dry eyes (for 8+ years; tested negative for Sjogren's syndrome twice)
- Plantar fasciitis for 1 month... and ongoing
- Chronic anxiety, sometimes with panic, for 10+ years

I'm 29 years old. When I started reading the Wiki and other people's stories, I saw myself in so many of them. It was a relief! Of course I'm still at the stage where I'm working through doubt/fear that I don't have TMS and my foot pain (my current issue) is a result of structural damage. And that if I resume normal activity -- which would mean actually having a good time at my wedding tomorrow and walking/standing up as much as I want -- I will seriously injure myself. The catastrophic fear is that I will tear my fascia and my foot will never heal. I'm reading The Mindbody Prescription right now and I've started journaling again, something I haven't done since middle school. Curiously, I used to journal every day as a teenager... my physical symptoms didn't appear until late high school, once I gave that up. I'm hoping that writing down my feelings again will help me on the road to recovery.

Thank you for reading my story so far, and my first question is this: How do I overcome this fear that my physical pain is NOT psychological and that I will hurt myself if I stop treating it as a structural injury? How did other people get over this hurdle? What do you do daily to move past the fear/doubt?

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Oceana. Welcome to this TMS web site. It will help you to heal from your Plantar Fascitis. But you do have stop thinking it is structura, unless a medical exam shows that. Even if it does, Dr. Sarno says in his book Healing Back Pain that oftentimes, Xrays and MRIs may some structural abnorlality, but they do not cause pain. Some emotion(s) are causing the pain.

In your case, I think that since you admit to wanting to please everyone, you may be worri3ed about pleasing your bride-to-be. A good friend of mine came down with a case of hives on his honeymoon. He told me about it later, after he realized he had been anxious about pleasing her sexually.
He actually spent his honeymoon in hospital, but afterward recovered and performed like Errol Flynn.

Try not to fear about tearing your fascia. Instead, do some journaling to discover repressed emotions, whether they are about pleasing your bride, or anyone else, or anything else. Journaling helped me discover my repressed emotions since I was a boy and my parents divorced.

Enjoy your wedding and don't worry if you are in any pain. It will pass. And have a wonderful honeymoon!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Dr. Sarno writes on page 117 of Healing Back Pain that plantar fascilitis: "Although doctors are often vague about cause, doctors may ascribe this pain to inflammation. The area is usually very tender to palpatation and seems quite clearly to be a manifestation of TMS (pain caused by repressed emotions)."

 

[oceana15]

Hi Walt! Thank you for your reply. It's encouraging to hear from other people that it's ok not to worry about the pain. Of course I still have to work to achieve firm, 100% belief in this myself. I'm actually the bride, not the groom -- I wonder what it was about my post that made you infer the opposite gender! Anyway, so being the bride I feel everyone is going to be watching me, and being a perfectionist I want everything to go as planned... and when I imagine all the things that could go wrong, it's really stressful. So I'm thinking my hyper-anxiety lately is coming from wanting the day to go perfectly and for every guest to have an excellent time, etc, etc. And bigger issues/worries such as, will my marriage last? It's overwhelming because it's such a huge commitment.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, bride to be. I don't know why I presumed you were the groom, unless it was remembering my friend on his honeymoon.

But you do say you are a perfectionist (so am I) and want everything to go perfect at your wedding. That's very understandable. I imagine most brides feel that way. The thing is, even if there is a glitch or two or several, I bet the main thing that is remembered is that it was mainly wonderful.

Your marriage will last if you both want it to, despite any problems that may arise. Stay in the present. Don't think about tomorrow or the future.

And everyone does watch the bride, except maybe the groom's mother. haha

 

[Gigi]

Welcome, Oceana! I'm so glad you found this wiki.
I suffered from very painful plantar fasciitis for about 2 years--until I realized that it was a manifestation of TMS. I worked my way through the Structured Education Program (SEP) found on this wiki, and it gave me my life back! I'm back to walking, hiking, and everything I used to do!
Sounds like you've made a great start with the journaling. The SEP will direct you to journal about specific topics, as well as introduce you to a number of excellent resources.
Enjoy the wedding! You will SHINE!