Getting out of the 'sickie zone' after illness...

Hello again!

So quick precis: I got actually ill in 2018 - breast cancer, Graves Disease (autoimmune over-active thyroid thingy), followed by Thyroid Eye Disease shortly after... a real party bag there, non?

But I got through the treatment well and stolidly, I thought - didn't even tell my family I'd been ill - and now I appear to be in remission from all these things, though with lingering eye symptoms (puffiness, weakness, some double vision).

It's the latter that are really challenging me (and eye manifestations are so hard to ignore, aren't they?) Sure, I've been ill, but I also know my own propensity for freaking myself out and inducing TMS. Could it be that I'm not 'letting go' of the last vestiges of illness that I've lived in for the last three years? Do you think we can not only induce symptoms from TMS, but perpetuate real ones and prevent them from healing?

If anyone can offer me words of cheer or advice, I would be grateful...

PS I've shortened this from the massive essay yesterday...

 

We should never underestimate our ability to freak ourselves out, and I’m 100% certain this can manifest as some kind of TMS hybrid (a bit of an actual condition and a huge dollop of emotional and mental suffering). Sometimes it’s hard to know where one starts and the other ends but I’m not sure it matters. One of the most inspiring people I’ve come across in a long time is Joe Dispenza and I highly recommend any of his books. To get a flavour of his work you’ll find lots of interviews and excerpts on YouTube. Don’t let the marketing throw you. It put me off for an age and I regret that because his philosophy and practice are sound.

Since you’re from the old place , do you remember @balto? I’m sure he wrote about eye problems and TMS. He used to be active on here so it’s worth a looksee.

Mostly though, simply know that your body is capable of fully rejuvenating and becoming stronger and healthier than before. I hope some of the sweet souls here chime in with some encouragement and inspiration for you too.

much love xxxx

 

I would like to second Plum's comments about Joe Dispenza. I went to four of his workshops when he began those almost a decade ago. He has indeed succumbed to a lot of marketing recently but again like Plum said, don't let that turn you off. His book, "You Are the Placebo", is my favorite of the few he's written. He has an amazing personal experience that led him to his teachings as well. Very inspiring.

It's so easy for the mind to fall back into it's old habits. Even pain is comfortable in some bizarre way. I try to to search for the payoff I get when discomfort arises. For me, it's usually that I'm trying to get out of something I don't want to do. And there is a very strange one that I have found. At times I will feel really good, and my husband will walk in the room not feeling well and immediately I start feeling bad. It's like I don't want to rub it in his face that I feel good and he feels bad. That is crazy making!

To end on a high note, my conviction about the TMS diagnosis has become considerably stronger and many times now I am able to simply let my bodymind know that I'm on to it, it is doing what it needs to do and I am fine. Iow, let it be and then stop thinking about it. More often than not, any discomfort immediately goes away now. It has taken some time but I have learned a lot about myself in the meantime.

 

Thank you @plum and @TrustIt ! You're right, the Dispenza is pretty heavily marketed, isn't it, but looks like some really useful stuff to pick through, and well-integrated with the TMS philosophy which WE KNOW WORKS! But it's useful to get reminders and inspiration sometimes... I'm going to check out his books... (And yes, I do remember dear Balto!)

As for what it is I'm avoiding, I do suspect it's getting back to my work - I've found it VERY difficult to write since my husband's been working from home in lockdown, and got quite angry and resentful about it - but am coming to terms with the honest truth that it's up to me to claim my space and get over my procrastination... (I think it was Virginia Woolf who said 'There's nothing a woman can be doing that cannot be interrupted', but I have an office door...).

I think I also have to accept that I have to just get on with my eyes in the state they are now, i.e. good ENOUGH (a concept I've always had trouble with!) And sure, use them to their normal extent, as much as possible, but otherwise leave them alone to get on with their own healing, stop fussing about them! I've got in a bad habit of, for example, not enjoying a walk for the sake of it, but always testing and judging and exercising my eyes, and trying to think how I can describe them perfectly to the ophthalmologist so that I get exactly the right treatment... I'm sure a lot of us have been there!

Thanks again, I think you've both sent me down a useful train of thought...

 

A friend of mine had Graves disease and had an eye issue with that. Common hyperthyroid issue. She takes 1 25,000 IU gelcap beta-carotene a day and it has completely resolved. Again not that I'm promoting something other than TMS, but well I guess I am. LOL But sometimes adding a supplement can do wonders. Best to you!

 

That's interesting, @TrustIt , thank you! I know that the Endocrinologists recommend selenium for TED - one of the rare occasions in which doctors acknowledge any good from supplements! Anecdotally I hear of B vets, Q10 etc being of use, and I'm happy to try them, while not depending on any outcome, in the TMS manner...

I was also amazed to find a consensus among Endos about the role of stress in triggering Graves - usually they pooh-pooh such mind-body connections. I read that there was an outbreak of thyroid disorders after WW2, leading to advances in the treatment of them.

(Mind you, I find the selenium pills make for toxic farts, so I get my dose from organic brazil nuts!)