A month ago I made serious moves to tackle my back and neck pain by starting the SEP, picking up a new Sarno book , being active on the forums, etc. The very next day after starting the program I had excruciating low back and leg pain like never before, my calf muscle felt in spasm, and I couldn't put pressure on my toes. I guess this is sciatic nerve pain. I laughed at the pain that day and the next because it was very obviously a backlash from the brain in response to my TMS recovery efforts. I was sure the pain would be gone within a few days. This is now a month later and the situation has not subsided. The pain has lessened but has plateaued at a mild yet still debilitating level; I still cannot put pressure on my toes, I have no strength in my calf/ankle/foot. I am a runner and cannot run (I will be missing the marathon I signed up for next weekend). I am a field biologist and cannot hike without a limp or losing my balance on uneven terrain. I am a very active person becoming very anxious and depressed about the fact that I can't move. I feel incompetent and like my life is losing meaning. This is starting to disrupt my relationship with my boyfriend. I felt confident and on top of the situation at first but it's gotten out of hand and I feel guilty for letting it control my life, but how can I not feel this way about such a debilitating thing? I laughed at the pain/weakness to start with. I knew it would be gone within days. But it never left. I've yelled at the pain. I've continued with my recovery plan, I'm reading and reading, journaling and journaling. I have also continued with my daily activities, as much as I can. I'm used to pushing through the pain, but this is different in that it's weakness... I can't push through when my foot just won't move... I use all the strength I have, but it's like there's no muscle in there, it makes me sick. I force runs every now and then, limping the whole way, just to prove I'm not afraid of further injury. The pain is worse after. I still hike for work, have never mentioned a thing to my boss about any debilitation. I still stretch, but the pain makes me sick to my stomach. I've tried calmly acknowledging the pain when I feel it. I've tried ignoring it altogether (but that's difficult because it's literally every step I take). I've tried screaming at the pain/weakness, insisting I won't take another step until the strength returns... well, that only left me standing in the same place for an hour becoming so increasingly frustrated with tears streaming down. I don't know what more to do. It's hard to not worry about it at this point. Could I have actually injured myself? I really don't think so.