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Fuck you tms :(

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by hopefulformyself123, Mar 8, 2019.

  1. hopefulformyself123

    hopefulformyself123 New Member

    I was doing so well
    The pain in my pubic bone, back and coccys was actually getting better
    Slowly but it wasn’t agony like before
    Life was changing
    Then
    Wham
    My vulva starts feeling swollen and abit sore
    Now this is where my chronic pain journey began
    It’s incredibly traumatic to remember this pain
    It’s such a familiar feeling
    It only went when I had my babies (and was replaced by back etc)
    50% of the time I can tell myself it’s tms
    It’s angry at me for winning and it’s using an old pathway to distract me
    But the other part of me is telling myself it’s because I’m doing so much more activity and wearing pants again sometimes that it’s creating the swelling and pain down below!
    I’m sat here crying
    This might be the thing that wins
    It’s the memories of how this pain changed my life and it just keeps haunting me
    And I’m panicked, scared and I feel sick to my stomach

    Is this tms? Can it cause a sensation of swelling or just ‘noticing it’ constantly on my mind and it hasn’t been for nearly two years

    I don’t know what to do! Feeing myself trying to rest and lie down because I was once told it was gravity causing the swelling and uncompfortable feeling down below

    Has anyone been through something similar! ?
     
  2. LisaC

    LisaC New Member

    Sounds like TMS to me. I can really sympathize. It’s doing exactly what it’s purpose is: to scare the crap out of you. Recognizing that is so important. It would like you to think everything you’ve learned should be tossed out the window, but don’t buy it! When this has happened to me I’ve been surprised how short term the flare up was. Don’t let it scare you. You are getting better.
     
    Baseball65 likes this.
  3. hopefulformyself123

    hopefulformyself123 New Member

    Thankyou for replying
    It must be tms
    It can’t be a coincidence that my other pain has reduced by 90% and then this starts
    It hurts more then when I gave birth and I have not done anything more traumatic to the area in the last 3 days
    It’s trying to scare me
    It’s trying to frighten me (it’s almost winning)
    But I need to keep doing everything I’ve been doing and have faith
    I know my body can feel no pain down there, it hasn’t for two years so it’s not hard wired
    Things can and will change
    (Can you tell I’m still trying to convince myself) haha
     
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, and your words are good. Even if they feel like you're having to convince yourself.

    You might also acknowledge some parts of your experience and combine with positivity. Something like: "Although I feel some difficult sensations, I know there is nothing really wrong with me." Or "I'm moving ahead in my life, even if there are symptoms, because I know that's what I need." Or to yourself: "You're a little frightened sometimes. That's OK. That does not mean there is anything wrong."

    Experiment, and judge the results by the way the statements feel in your body/feeling sense. Don't expect quick symptom relief. Just deepen your satisfaction with with the action of being real and reassuring.
     
  5. hopefulformyself123

    hopefulformyself123 New Member

    Thanks for replying
    Will try that suggestion

    I even had a thought earlier that I wish I hadn’t started as the other pain was awful but this pain is mentally taking me back and it’s just horrific
    The memories of that time and I feel like I’m back at that place
    But I need to tell myself it’s tms and if the other pain can feel better then this pain can feel better too!
    Ah this shit is hard!!
     
  6. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I LOve your attitude in the headliner on this thread. I actually have used that as a mantra before to great effect.

    We all know TMS loves to move around, back and forth. The other thing to 'check' is; what kind of changes happened just preceding the shift? Sometimes it really is just symptom imperative tango, but sometimes there is something that snuck under our radar to add a finger on the rage balance scale... and it can be very subtle.
     
  7. hopefulformyself123

    hopefulformyself123 New Member

    Haha I often find myself telling my pain to F off!!!

    Well the only thing I can think of is we went shopping and I bought some jeans (haven’t been able to wear them for years and years)
    I was so excited but also a bit nervous and out of my comfort zone
    So I think maybe the pressure of that and the fact I think I was starting to win against tms it decided to go to the worst place it could go to
    Really trying to keep positive and tell myself it will go but this just feels so set in stone as I had this same sensation/pain for soooo many years and only childbirth made it go away
    It’s such a headfuck
    Was telling my partner that if the pain had moved to my elbow I would be laughing at it
    But this has knocked me for six
     

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