From peace to panic is .003 seconds

[North Star]

I was minding my own business and pretty much at peace. Yeah, lots of flare ups but I've felt like I've had some mental breakthroughs and I felt like I was weathering the storm okay.

Then I had a swig of ice water. And I had a twinge of sensitivity in a tooth. THE tooth. In less than a nano second, I freaked out. Oh God. NOT AGAIN!!!

A few years ago, I had to have two shoddy crown on-lays replaced. My dentist repaired them both as best as he could but the one tooth got increasingly more troublesome till the pain was unbearable. Dental nerve pain has got to be the worst pain. I finally got the darned thing extracted and vowed to never let something like that go on again. Instant relief.

The dentist expressed concerned that the other tooth…the premolar on the other side of my mouth, might be sensitive too. I shrugged. It was fine. Nary a peep out of it. Even with the defective crown on-lay, it never bothered me.

Which brings me to yesterday. I wanted to scream when I felt that mild jolt. It was that other tooth. The one that never bothered me. Then I forgot about it until this afternoon when I felt a very, very slight twinge.

I went to do my guided imagery and it was so stinking tough to stay focused. I was freaking out over this mildly sensitive tooth.

First, I suspect my subconscious tucked away the dentist's concern over that tooth. (He was shocked over the shoddiness of the work but was able to patch it okay.)
I also suspect that since I've been addressing every symptom as TMS my brain decided to up the ante a bit and bring my dental health back for an encore…nothing can scare the daylights out of me like a dental visit. And the fear I dealt with over that extraction (which really ended up being no big deal), was epic. (Valium, anyone?)

I keep up on my dental visits but I absolutely dread them. (I'm a bit over due for my check up right now but will make an appointment.) And now I'm panicked over this tooth.

I already decided if this tooth goes bad, it's going to be yanked too. That is, after I go hunt down that dentist who did the crapola work and slap him silly. I get disgusted with the dental industry and their "every tooth must be $aved!" crusade. But it IS upsetting to think of having a second tooth pulled. (Though in the scheme of things, it's not a big deal since I still have my wisdom teeth.)

Sigh. I'll find out soon enough if this is a TMS thing or that hack job of a crown. I'm pretty upset at either scenario…pissed over having another TMS symptom or pissed over more dental work. (Especially if it ends up being an extraction.)

I'd appreciate any word of encouragement.

 

[Ellen]

Hi North Star,

I love the way you write your posts. They make for fun reading.

What strikes me as I read what you've written, is how aware you are of your thought processes, fears, emotions, and past behaviors. That level of awareness has got to inoculate you against TMS. How can the unconscious perform its tricks when you are so on to it? Sounds to me that you are mostly dealing with conditioning, and the fear that you will have the same reactions as in the past, completely out of habit. Just keep shining that light of awareness on the situation, and try to relax. You are changing and TMS is on the run!

 

[Mermaid]

Hi North Star,

I can sympathize with the dental thing. At the height of my TMS I broke one of my molars clenching my teeth in my sleep (the bits I got between the night sweats and insomnia ). I was in AGONY and had to get it extracted, my TMS was then like a kid in a candy store making any and all of my damn teeth hurt.

A little while later I had to have a root canal treatment on another tooth which had decayed under an old filling, so the nerve was removed. When my stupid TMS is really stuck for something to use it goes to the tooth with no nerve !

Since you already know what tricks your brain could chose to get up to you're ahead of the game, so don't worry just get it check out, so you know what's going on.

You'll be fine either way

 

[North Star]

Aw, Ellen, you are such a sweetie. Thank you for your kind words.

I have been calming down a bit. I told my hubby my tale of woe and before I was even finished he says, "TMS!" After 25 years of being married to me, he knows me pretty well.

Your mention of "conditioning" gave me pause. That's been a repeated theme for me this past week. Between what I've been reading and these mini-revelations about how reactions I have that are simply conditioned. (Like mewing about how the cold weather makes my skin worse.)

You've given me a different lens to look at this stuff through and I appreciate it very much!

And then here I picked up a book "Quiet- The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" and got this little jewel from Martin Luther King, Jr. -
"There comes a time that people get tired of being trampled over by the iron feet of oppression. There comes a time when people get tired of being pushed out of the glittering sunlight of life's July and left standing amidst the piercing chill of an Alpine November."

What a great proclamation to speak against the tyranny of TMS.

I don't know what I'd do without this forum - Hugs!

 

[North Star]

Thanks, Mermaid. We were both posting at the same time. I've had the same stuff you had. And get this…even after the Devil Tooth was extracted…that nerve pathway tried to fire off pain. I couldn't believe it. Sort of the same thing happened when I was getting the usual scar pain that I deal with…only it was on the wrong side of my chest. (I have a nasty scar from a chest tube from years ago.) I was dumbfounded at the ability of my brain to generate such random pain and anxiety.

I appreciate your encouragement and I will call to make the appointment on Monday. And btw…the tooth has been just fine once again. Even after swishing cold water on it. Gah. It's exhausting being me at at times.