Freaking Out About Yet Another Symptomm

So as some may know, I'm in Switzerland until next Friday. I've been dealing with an ingrown hair or something underneath my scrotum that has been bothering the hell out of me, so I've been applying warm compression to try to alleviate it.

Now, a little back story a few years back I dealt with 3 plus months of bad groin and testicle pain. I was diagnosed with chronic epididymitis. After months of failed treatment I was told the only thing left to do was to remove the epidiymis via surgery. At that point luckily I found TMS and put all my belief into it and the pain went away, so I've been a believer ever since.

During this time during my panicked Google searches, I stumbled upon a thing called "Testicular torsion" where a testicle gets twisted and causes a lot of pain and may result in losing a testicle. This then became one of my biggest fears even though it never actually happened to me.

So fast forward back to the present, I was lifting the testicles so I could add warm compress to the ingrown hair, and I felt a twinge and of course I decided that this was a testicular torsion and went into full freak out and started feeling groin pain. I got over it eventually and went to sleep.

At about 4 am, half awake I rolled over and felt another twinge. I started freaking out again and went to bathroom to check things out. I think that everything looked ok, but then I convinced myself that my left epididymis was twisted because maybe it wasn't in the normal place it usually was, right or wrong I'm not sure.

Anyways, I calmed down, went back to sleep. I woke up again at 630 for work and I had zero pain. Of course a little groin pain creeped on me as I became a little more awake, but I was able to use this as evidence that its TMS, because if it was a physical torsion it would be a constant severe pain I think.

Anyways I also started Googling again of course and read that if a torsion occurs it can became untorsioned and then it usually will happen again. So now I'm freaking out about that even though I'm pretty sure it never happened in the first place.

Anyways, that's my dilemma today. I'm 99 percent sure it's just the TMS bug hitting me again, especially with my groin pain history. I'm in a foreign country where little people speak English so the last thing I want to do is to go to the doctor. (Probably contributing to the TMS more than anything itself actually).

Just could use some help convincing myself to calm down and reassure myself it's TMS and that I'm not about to lose a testicle.

 

Ok so i did some more research and found that really the only way to get a torsion is if you have something called a "Bell Clappers Deformity" where testicles are not supported by much inside the testicle so they are pretty much free to move as they please.

And it's only really common in young boys who are developing. Even if I had this deforminty, there is no way I would have made it this long without a torsion (I'm 27). I've been hit in the balls, done many extrensive activities, etc.

Now that I sit here and examine myself, I'm not even really in that much pain. Just a full sensation in my groin area that comes and goes. I'm more focused on Googling and freaking out about it.

From what I've read the pain from torsion is usually do bad that its hard to walk and it's excruciating .

I really get tired of this crap sometimes, just freaking out for no reason about things that are even really possible.

TMS can be a pain, but at least I'm educated and know that it exists.

Obviously my TMS is going crazy right now. Probably because I'm nervous about being in a foreign country alone so far from home. I'm sure more unconscious thoughts as well.

Deep breath, Deep breath. Me talking to myself: "You got this buddy, relax. Life is ok"

 

The mind can be fierce in convincing us that we have something extreme. Hang in there. Go outside and walk around. Don't look up anything else. A twinge is a twinge…from lack of blood flow.

 

GTFan............one of the best things that could have ever happened to me was my ability to stop myself from looking up anything medical on the internet.

 

GTfan,

I think it helps to engage our rational, logical brain to override our crazy, fearful unconscious. It takes repetition but it works. You know it isn't logical to develop a physical condition just because you've been reading about it on the internet. So I suggest that you keep telling yourself what your logical brain knows is the truth. Something like "I have TMS. There is nothing wrong with my body. I'm safe and everything is OK." And I'd quit googling symptoms.

You'll be fine. I travel overseas for work often, too, and I know everything is harder when you're away from home. Be kind and patient with yourself. And go out and enjoy the beautiful country you are in. Switzerland is wonderful. You are lucky to be able to work there for awhile.

 

Your mind has you GT.......and trust me, I know what you are going through and so do many of this forum. See if you can talk to your GP and maybe get something to take occasionally for anxiety until you can get back to normal thinking again.

 

Fortunately I was able to get my brain back to a rational level of thinking. Through my recent bouts of TMS symptoms gone crazy, I have been able to take a step back and start enjoying the present. Looking around, enjoying the beautiful mountains in Switzerland, meet new people, etc.

This among a few other things recently I believe have been a wake up call for me. I have been able to meditate on this now. I've been living my life in the wrong way.

Drinking way too much, partying my life away, chasing things that don't bring real self happiness. I understand how this can be enraging to one's subconscious self.

When I return home, I plan on making some lifestyle changes. Getting back into a solid workout routine again, stop getting wasted drunk every weekend, find new hobbies, work to better myself everyday without beating myself up about what I'm not good at. This is a start at least.