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Found an unconvential effective way to uncover my true emotions and help the healing process

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by SpinCycleMKV, Aug 26, 2020.

  1. SpinCycleMKV

    SpinCycleMKV New Member

    I've been on this TMS journey for over a year and a half now and while I am generally 95%+ healed from my debilitating state. I play League of Legends pain free and with no discomfort most days, tinnitus is drastically reduced, knee/foot pain are gone. I basically used the techniques on this forum and Sarno/Ozanich and Nicole Sachs' journaling to get healthy. Anyway, I think I found a technique to let people get to emotional bedrock because it's hard to trigger emotions and bring them to the surface if you are repressing. I really want to get to a state of 100% healing or as close as humanely possibly because I realize the amazing benefits of doing so even though there is only so much farther I can go as I am largely free of TMS and my symptoms are always minor and if they get worse I know immediately what things I need to do. But getting the emotions out and STAYING healthy is not always easy.

    Where in the past I would run away from my emotions and try not to 'trigger' them which I realize is incredibly harmful to your health and well-being now I try to induce my symptoms and my emotions to heal from them. It's hard to hit emotional bedrock even when I am journaling. Something interesting happened yesterday and I started to think about this based on past experiences doing long runs.

    I do 6 to 8 mile runs with my friends depending on the conditions, it's great for exercise and brain health, but I really push myself sometimes and at the end when I am physically and mentally drained I am able to be completely honest with myself and my feelings. I kind of let out a torrent of emotions to one of my close friends who is amazing and I can confide in about how unhappy I was still (things have gotten a lot better but fuck there is a lot) and how I've self-sabotaged countless opportunities for relationships with women I've cared about in the past. I've been notoriously bad with women despite women finding me attractive, funny, etc. likely due to learned helplessness, and extreme fear of rejection which has diminished. I regret these things a lot as I get older (32) because there are less opportunities readily available and anything you have to create. Basically, it was a messy night of feelings and crying in my bed about the past and I didn't sleep well. But today my TMS symptoms (which are very minor nowadays after all the healing I did) were more reduced than ever, can't hear the ringing, wrist feels 99%.

    I guess I would suggest something like running to exhaustion and stay hydrated of course and then just thinking about your life in this state of exhaustion when you're done running, it lowers your inhibitions (for me at least), sometimes on days where it was 93 degrees or hotter I could only make it 3 1/2 miles with my friends before I had to turn back and I just walk and a lot of feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt cropped up, and basically like hey I need to acknowledge these feelings and get to a healthier place in my life. Exercising in this way for me has helped me along my TMS process and getting my thoughts out I can't always do in my journal I"m not consistent with and just feel like I rambling about logical stuff, which isn't where TMS hides, it hides in your emotions.

    It lets me be honest with myself in a way I couldn't otherwise and I realize I have to make some changes in my life, because part of TMS isn't just healing from the chronic pain but it's healing our trauma and living a fully actualized life.

    Just a thought I would throw out there.
    Kittyruns likes this.
  2. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    That’s great. Exhaustion leaves little energy for the BS we delude ourselves with. Had a very similar experience where I walked 10 miles in extreme heat when stress was unbearable. It worked! Eventually the negative thoughts were out of sync with the emotions in the body. Can’t take it so seriously then!
  3. HopethereisHope

    HopethereisHope New Member

    Very interesting. Also uplifting to see that you were able to reduce your tinnitus symptoms.
  4. Miss Metta

    Miss Metta Peer Supporter

    I also find the same with grief - which I experience several times a year. I am domestic rat enthusiast and have been for 12 years. Unfortunately they live incredibly short lives - 2-3 years on average, sometimes they die even earlier. So I usually go through the experience of several of them getting sick and having to be euthanised several times a year. I'm attached to all of them one way or another, but some are stand-outs and I develop a strong bond. When these ones die in particular - though it is also somewhat true for the others - the experience of grief and being brought to my knees/end of my resources often helps me be real with myself. Since this happens several times a year, sometimes in quick succession, I'm regularly reminded of 'truths'.

    With exercise, I am the opposite. If I push to exhaustion, it triggers TMS and terror. Possibly because I over-exercised and underate in the past and developed illness from it. But I can see how it would work.

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