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Forums can be counter productive

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Alfaman147, Oct 5, 2016.

  1. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    Am I wrong in thinking that while these forums are a god send to help people who are new to psychological pain, they can be bad for people who know the pain is psychological but cannot stop obsessing over it. I'm the latter. I know my pain is caused by anxiety but I cannot seem to stop looking on here or Google and it all just keeps the pain going. Surely the way to fully beat tms pain is to stop and just carry on with your life.
     
    jrid32 and eskimoeskimo like this.
  2. jrid32

    jrid32 Peer Supporter

    See the second post here: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/ignoring-the-pain.305/#post-72638 (Ignoring the pain)

     
  3. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    When I say ignore the pain I meat to not let it become a huge get part of your life. An obsession. It's good to focus on making sure your mental state is healthy.
     
  4. EricFeelsThisWay

    EricFeelsThisWay Peer Supporter

    I think you are right. We go to this forum and scroll OBSESSIVELY through these posts looking for "the answer" the same way we read books looking for the answer. But the answer dwells within is. All we need to do is tap into that source of comfort and peace within us, then the pain will go away. Unfortunately, for those who are prone to Bronx anxiety, this is the hardest thing to do. It's so much easier to read a book than calm our minds and look inside ourselves
    Chances are, if you obsess about the pain, you're also obsessing about a lot of other things in your life. It's rare that someone has chronic pin but are at peace otherwise.
     
    Mad likes this.
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Alfaman147,

    When I heard about Dr. Sarno's work, and began to engage with it, I also found this site. Here I grabbed few ideas, had a few phone-in experiences, and felt supported. Then I went away for many months, and did my own investigation/practice. The information from any of the Sarno books is very basic, and the best we can do is a deep engagement, personally, of the material.

    I think the way we use Forums like this is very important, and you bring up a good point: obsessing about the "answer." Trying to fix something with the perfect information is part of the pattern which perpetuates TMS.

    Also we run the risk of absorbing strategies and attitudes from others on the Forum which don't actually match our (growing) inner guidance in working with Dr. Sarno's approach. The dangers in this are rejecting the Sarno approach outright because of someone's expressed opinion (which is right for this person), not feeling really seen or understood, becoming reactive, and so on... So I think that we must use this place carefully, and take everyone's input with some flexibility, as it applies to our situation.

    Andy B
     
  6. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    Eric what is bronx anxiety???? I'm glad you guys feel the same way. I'm an obsessive pain sufferer. I Google and read this forum all the time. I have pelvic floor tension.
     
  7. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I was signed off work for 3 weeks because of the anxiety and depression cycle. I went back last week but I was a mess. Have been signed off again. I fix cats for a living so if my mind is not on the job I put people's lives at risk. But my problem is analysing everything. I even googled what to do to keep busy when signed off from work with depression. It's pathetic. Why can't I just go with the flow. Relax. Live for the day. I worry about work and worry when I'm not at work.
     
  8. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2016
  9. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    There is a trend by pet-people to view themselves as "pet-parents" versus "pet-owners". This may stem from a few decades ago when a popular x-mas gift was the Pet-Rock--I did not purchase one of these but did adopt a feral one, I found in my back-yard, and we've been happy ever since, I've trained it to be an occasional doorstop. I've never had children, but have had cats. I can see why people who have made the choice not to be breeders would take on the role of "pet-parenting". Pets would require infinitely less money to maturity--which today is in the mid-50's, or in kali maybe never, since it's against the law to grow-up here, especially around Anaheim. Pets, except for an occasional pit bull attack, will give un-conditional love in return for treats--children today--you better make your own funeral arrangements.
     
  10. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Back to Alfaman, quit your googling to solve your problems--take a walk, run or a swim instead. This site has all the information you need to get better if it's TMS. Forest has put together here more then enough information about TMS for anyone to get better.
     
  11. bennet

    bennet Peer Supporter

    Hi-- I've had a similar problem. A few months ago I was really stuck in this place where I was thinking about my symptoms constantly, and journaling and visiting the forum weren't actually helping me because it kept me preoccupied with them. It's possible that you, like me, have developed some anxiety. If you have access to a specialist, it could be very helpful to find some extra support for this. I also took a break from the forum and stopped following the guided plan. I visit the forum when I feel alone and want to see that other people out there understand what I'm going through. Your healing journey is your own and it's ok to make a change if something is obviously not helping.

    One method I use when I am focused too much on my physical symptoms: I practice accepting them. I close my eyes and take some slow, deep breaths. I stop resisting the pain. I let it be there. I remind myself that I'm not in danger and my pain is a signal that I'm stressed, not that I'm injured. I rest my awareness on the pain until I find that pain isn't actually so horrible. Then it usually goes away, or stops mattering to me. The trick is that I have to let go of the expectation that the pain should leave. I gently encourage myself to just let pain be there, and be ok. I repeat this many times a day until it becomes a reflex. It's definitely not easy-- I don't say that to be discouraging, but to let you know not to beat yourself up if it's hard. (I learned this from "Hope and Help for your Nerves" by Claire Weekes. It's a bit dated but I still recommend it because her methods for working with anxiety and pain symptoms are great.)
     
  12. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    I appreciate your approach here bennet. Thanks for sharing this. And it is related to the desire to fix or stop symptoms, which all pain sufferers have!
     
  13. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I was a bit better yesterday. But it's my birthday today and my girlfriend forgot. We are both suffering from depression at the moment and she was devistated that she forgot. My discomfort was worse after that. I'm sure it's because I was stressed by her reaction and down in the dumps. I really cannot work while I'm in this mindset. But I had a panic this morning about rectal prolapse or infection and I took myself to the docs again. It's a compulsive thing I do. Of course after the doc did the old digital rectal exam and said there is nothing in there is came home. Calling myself a stupid idiot on the way home. I'm so hard on myself. And of course when I got home the googling started again. Can stress cause rectal pressure and blah blah blah blah haha. Pelvic pain blah blah. And I read the same old things. So I know iv taken a step back again. But I need to keep telling myself that a serious health problem would not go away at night time or after a few drinks or even if I'm briefly distracted completely. Am I right guys????
     
  14. BeWell

    BeWell Well known member

    [Deleted at BeWell's request]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2016
    Alfaman147 likes this.
  15. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    Is that a yes then ??? Haha
     
  16. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I actually find that doing some stretches can help. Also sitting on a hot water bottle. I know some say this is against tms protocol but I know the problem is muscular caused by my brain so surely helping ease the symptoms is only a benefit
     
  17. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    But yes I actually was sitting in my car googling on my phone for about half an hour. And then I wonder why my pain is bad haha.
     
  18. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    I like Bennet's reply... He lets the pain be there and goes on with his day. He accepts the pain, practices deep breathing, thinks TMS and positive.
     
  19. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    Cars
     

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