Flare Ups

[Huckleberry]

Interested to hear how people view pain flare ups in relation to either strengthening or weakening their belief in the TMS diagnosis.

From a structural perspective I get somewhat confused by the idea that back pain caused by impingements and the like can be subject to flare ups, surely if a nerve is impinged or whatever this is a constant thing and I cannot really see any mechanism that would allow the pain to switch off (or reduce significantly) only for it to flare up and often at times when there is no obvious physical stressor involved.

Obviously, I can see how some processes such as IBS and the like could indeed wax and wane so I'm mainly coming at this from the back pain angle really. It does seem to me that there is a pattern that peoples pain does tend to be of a flare up and remission nature and I'm just curious as to how folk view this in light of structural evidence and TMS theory.

 

[Bodhigirl]

Perfect timing to discuss flare-ups.

I think we all have structural problems after age 25. If my neck felt the way my MRI looked, I would likely be in screaming pain but haven't had pain there in years. (well, maybe now that I mention it, the brain will have a new idea, ha).

I have been ramping into a flareup the past week. It's nearly always the same place: right psoas thruough to the right glute - seems to seize up in pain. In the past, it put me in bed. Now, I keep moving and return to these threads, to my books, and listen to Schubiner's healing stressors meditation.

I am getting ready to travel overseas for a week and that often serves as a stressor for pain to show up. I get tense, worried about the unknowns of the trip, down to whether I can get a yoga mat in the room so I can exercise every morning, in private.

This morning, the trigger from the past was two-fold: my father screaming at me on the changing table as a baby while standing by my right hip. This isn't news to me, I have done emotional trauma work around this for 25 years. The current stressor is my husband who can get angry when I seem to intrude on him, which - while understandable - so triggers my father complex - that my lower back/hip/psoas begins wailing. Like a baby.

I think what I am learning this time around is that I have to work the TMS recovery EVERY DAY. Just like being a sober alcoholic - it's one day at a time - in order to succeed. My ego wants me to graduate, to be whole and done with this process. And it's a never-ending process full of never-ending challenges - so long as I live with another person with whom I will inevitably have conflict. Likely the conflict is part of the meaning of my life, to urge me to continue growing.

And just like my baby self, I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask to have a sick mom. I didn't ask my dad to get overwhelmed and yell at me. I am branded as Victim and that is the archetype that is activated and then, wham, TMS symptoms.

I pause. I breathe. I acknowledge. And I chose not to go horseback riding today and push it, as I usually do, but rather to call my Rolfer and go and get some mindbody tension releasing talk therapy all rolled into one. I find that deep touch coupled with free-association of past and present stressors/traumatic material helps immensely when I am at risk of relapsing into pain and the drama that accompanies it.

I have had wonderful success with this process, many thanks to the people sharing here and the various books by Sarno, Schubiner and the pelvic floor stretch experts, who helped me open this part of my body and listen, meditate and honor my body's voice. I have walked hundreds of miles with my camera and if my back begins to complain I can talk to the inner infant, give her comfort and KEEP WALKING. In hindsight, I probably should have just gone to ride today but I recall Sarno saying that if it was acute pain (and this was) to stop everything and rest a bit. So I did. And had a good cry. Couldn't have done that on an hour long drive...

Grateful to you all.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Bodhigirl. I love your positive attitude and spirit. They will help you to heal because you are obviously aware of the emotional causes of your pains.
Your mom and dad probably have emotions causing them to have pain. When I put myself in someone else's shoes, I learn a lot and can deal with them better. I took a Rolfing treatment once, long ago, and the guy was so rough it hurt me, so I never went back. I hope your Rolfer doesn't add to your pain.
I'd take a horseback ride instead of a rolfing any day.

 

[Bodhigirl]

Thn

Hi, Bodhigirl. I love your positive attitude and spirit. They will help you to heal because you are obviously aware of the emotional causes of your pains.
Your mom and dad probably have emotions causing them to have pain. When I put myself in someone else's shoes, I learn a lot and can deal with them better. I took a Rolfing treatment once, long ago, and the guy was so rough it hurt me, so I never went back. I hope your Rolfer doesn't add to your pain.
I'd take a horseback ride instead of a rolfing any day.

Thanks, Walt, beloved Grand Eagle. Yes, my parents, both gone now, suffered their own pain and I have done many hours of compassionate work around taking myself, the infant, out of dad's care and into my own while reassuring him that he, too, was going to be alright. He was afraid that my mom would die and leave him with a baby. I get it.
My right hip/glute/psoas needs constant care and reminding, however.
My Rolfer never hurts. He only goes where the tension needs words, he leans in and I say the words. Then, release. It's a wonderful thing. I do it for myself at home but as my different healing folks say, "A myofacial ball or foam roller doesn't have the soul of a practitioner."
I will ride tomorrow.