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Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Day-Cee, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. Day-Cee

    Day-Cee Peer Supporter

    Hi guys! Its been a while since I’ve post something here, the good news is because I was doing good the last few weeks/months! J By the way, I feel bad since every time I come here its to ask for help or advice, so I might look like the guy that always ask for help but never share or help anybody else. The reason for this is just that I am not 100% yet and I’m still building my belief, so I’m not in a position where I can give advice yet and I’m trying to avoid everything that could weakened my belief. To be honest, even my family is not aware of what I’m doing (except my GF) just because I don’t want them to argue or to try to deceive me…

    Anyway, I hope you all understand… So, now, my question is: How do you overcome a long flare-up? As I said, I’ve been doing good for the last few weeks and or months, I really thought that I was on my way to recovery, I was not thinking about my back at all and I could do most of my activity without fearing anything.

    However, since last week, it came back strong. At the beginning I was not paying to much attention since I know this can happen, but now its been almost 10 days and its not getting better so I’m thinking that just trying to ignore might not be enough.

    What happen in my life recently? Well a lot of things… First, I gave my resignation to my boss since I’m starting my own businessJ. I have a management position in a big Canadian company. So I understand that this is a lot of stress… I’m leaving a confy weekly pay check for who knows what… I’ve also been passing some interviews at different University in order to give 1-2 lectures a week…

    In addition, some unsolved issue with my GF came-up about at the same time, I know we have to solve this but we’re both trying to live without thinking and talking about it…

    I think that my mind just took the opportunity, all of this was to much stress and internal conflict, and it saw the opportunity after a big week-end of movement and sport (a lot of hockey games, snowshoeing etc..) to bring back the pain…

    Now that I’m aware of that, what do I have to do? Just wait? Think about those problems? Trying to do more sports to prove myself that this is not the reason?

    Thanks again,
  2. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Day-Cee, congrats on the launch into Biz ownership. Hubby and I took the plunge once again. I've had to journal a lot about that…the paycheck was nice so I want to be sure that I'm processing through all the emotions in a healthy way.

    And btw - you need not apologize for not answering replies. Coming here to ask questions is a valid contribution to the forum. And heck, even if you lurk…it's okay!

    Now that we got housekeeping out of the way. <smile>

    I wish I had a clever reply for you as I've been having a lot of flares - many very intense to the point walking has been difficult. What am I doing? The same stuff. Journalling. Meditation. Repeating affirmations aloud. Listening to my audio books on TMS.

    I have drawn a lot of encouragement from the Ask a Therapist feature here too.

    This is all a journey and I remind myself frequently that peace and strength can be found only when I am present. It's easy to future trip about a painful life but there's that feat thing again.

    There's no magic answers. Just one step forward at a time. Even if it's a baby step.

    Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Day Cee.
    Between your job change and starting your own business, and the girlfriend matter,
    it's no wonder you have some physical flare-up. It's your subconscious sending you pain
    to get you to work on your repressed emotions, perfectionist and "goodist" personality.

    North Star's advice is great... journaling, meditation, affirmations to keep positive.
    Also, deep breathing and at times, laughing.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle


    Yes, you need to stay steadfast, and apply the Sarno techniques as you already have. This is a wonderful time to strengthen your "thinking psychologically" at all times muscle. The doubts are arising. Witness them. Treat them as part of the TMS, along with the pain. You have all the 'personal life' evidence you need to know you are getting a flare up of symptoms. Accept the pain as just that: TMS, and the only thing to "do about it" is what you already know to do (or need to learn and practice a little more). Don't let this flare up drive you crazy!

    When the symptoms return, there can be an insidious reaction which is anxiety based: "I know this is TMS, but what do I do about it?" When you read that, from the outside, it seems funny almost. Funny because we already know what to do about it.

    But this thinking (which is natural and almost expected) creates it's own little hell. From the inside, you can feel the echos of the original reaction to find the physical reason for the pain that most of us have gone through before applying Dr. Sarno's work: desperation, fear, searching for answers outside ourselves...

    This fear and desire to "fix this problem" just creates more anxiety and more tension. We can get caught inside a dark loop, which at its heart is fear. Remember Dr. Sarno says that fear is a better distraction than pain.

    Witness the fear, and proceed without believing it. In this too, remember that turning the mind to the right view is a practice, and perhaps never practiced "perfectly." It is more like a muscle to be strengthened!

    Andy B.
    North Star and Ellen like this.
  5. Day-Cee

    Day-Cee Peer Supporter

    Thanks for your advice guys.

    Andy, you are so right, its stupid since I already know what to do... But like you said, when the pain came back last week, I had some echo reminding me all the things the old doctor said...

    What I retain from your advice guys is not to loose faith and not panic... I'll go back to journaling (which I had stop) and stay positive...

    Walt, any good advice or book for meditating? I tried a couple of months ago but found it very difficult...
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

  7. Day-Cee

    Day-Cee Peer Supporter

    Thanks Andy,

    I'll try to incorporate that to my routine... I actually have no reason not to do it since I've stop stretching in the morning and at Night! Use to take me at least a good hour at night...

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