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Flair up reminder

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by COgirl05, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Can someone please remind me that this isn't a linear process and that even after good days, there can be flair ups and that's the process of overcoming TMS? I was doing really good at giving my pain the silent treatment for the past week and it was going away and then the past 3 days it's gradually come back and today it's still getting stronger. Maybe it's an extinction burst or something? Just need some reassurance!
  2. cishealing

    cishealing Peer Supporter

    Flare ups/relapses are just the WORST! Soul-crushing, even. But they really are temporary. You've done well before, you will do well again. Keep the faith, try to tamp down the fear and wait a little bit. You'll be back on the road to recovery that you want to be on very, very soon.

  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, COgirl. We've met before here. Cee is right, the recurring pain is just more TMS.
    Your subconscious may think you are close to discovering the psychological causes of your pain,
    so it is sending new and maybe even stronger shots. It is doing this as a favor to you,
    so you dig deeper. Do you still have repressed emotions (anger, etc.) that may be from present
    or past experiences. Or maybe it isn't that but a perfectionist and "goodist" personality.

    In any event, just keep believing 100 percent in TMS and practice deep breathing.
    But don't spend too much time on TMS thoughts. Let your pain be -- accept it -- and try to distract
    yourself from thinking about it. Spend most of your time relaxing and enjoying life.

    Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. Have you laughed lately? I find laughing
    a great relaxer. I don't even have to watch a funny movie. I just laugh for even a minute and
    forget what made me hurt or feel worried about anything.
  4. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Hi Walt,
    I've been working with a TMS therapist for the past several weeks and I feel like we've gotten to the bottom of a lot of the psychological issues. I've journaled a lot and think psychological a lot also. I'm just getting a little frustrated by the nonstop flair-ups. I've been working on some behavioral things like preoccupation, anxiety, etc. about the pain. I feel like in the past week I've gotten better about this too, but now I'm having another flair up. Do you think that it could be more of an extinction thing? I'm trying really hard to give the pain the silent treatment and not be anxious about it, but gees I want this to go away!!!
  5. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Cee - Thanks for the response. It got a little worse today even. I'm just struggling through this right now. I feel like maybe I might be the one that doesn't ever really heal from this and I'll have to ride the rollercoaster forever. I've just had flair-up after flair-up since November.
  6. cishealing

    cishealing Peer Supporter

    Hang in there. It sounds like extinction burst to me in response to the good work you are doing in therapy. Try not to try so hard....I know, easier said than done. You ARE NOT the one that doesn't heal. We all think that at times and we are all wrong.

  7. HollDoll

    HollDoll Peer Supporter

    Hi COgirl,

    Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that I am dealing with the same exact thing right now you are describing, which is why I decided to join this site just today actually...Read Dr. Sarno's book nearly 2 months ago, was convinced that TMS has been my issue these past 2 years, and the fact that I felt immediately better and have felt the best I have these past 2 months (still with some pain some days, but much less and also having completely pain-free days) only reinforced my conviction even more. This past week, however, I have been experiencing a very bad flare-up and can feel myself giving in to the fear and despair and desire to disconnect (from myself, my husband, and those around me)...I am trying to do the things I know I need to in order to help myself heal from this flare-up: think psychological (which brought an emotion - guilt - I had't yet connected to my symptoms to the forefront of my consciousness, which is now giving me more food for thought), trying my hardest not to give energy to the pain by catering to it, and generally just trying to keep on keeping on as best I can while remaining hopeful and sound in the fact that this is just a flare-up and I must not let myself spiral into despair that I am back to hurting all the time again.

    Mostly I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only experiencing (very trying) flare-ups, and that the flare-ups you have been experiencing on and off will not be your new forever!
  8. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Cee - You think this is an extinction burst? I've always heard about them, but never knew if any of my flair-ups were them. This one feels a little different because I have been trying to give my pain the silent treatment for the past week and it was gradually going away and then all of a sudden for about 5 days, the pain gradually got worse again. I actually feel pretty good tonight, but I'm trying to not get attached to it and be fearful. Fearfulness has always been my problem!

    HollDoll - Thanks for the response! It's always good to know I'm not the only one in this battle! My TMS psychologist told me to give the pain the silent treatment. Don't get mad at it or whatever because that's still eliciting a response. I do agree with this! I have just been trying not to go to a place of anxiety, fear, disappointment, dread, etc. and just don't think about the pain and keep doing my daily life as I would. I think this is starting to help a little bit.
  9. cishealing

    cishealing Peer Supporter

    COgirl, I do think so because I've been experiencing a very similar thing myself. Since initially getting much better in September of last year after accepting that TMS is my problem and not sciatica from a bulging disc, I've had one bad relapse lasting six weeks, and a couple of shorter and less painful flare ups lasting less than a week each. In between the actual leg pain flares, I've dealt with the flu and 2 UTIs which I feel are TMS related too. TMS is trying its darndest to keep me, but I'm relentlessly fighting it.

    What I'm finding is that fear is the real problem for me too. Right now I've got an annoying flare up going on, but I'm most fearful of the insomnia part and not the leg pain part. So each of us is waging our own private flare-up battle, but we aren't all alone in this right?

  10. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Cee - Yeah I do think this might be an attempt at TMS trying to reel me back in to its game. I'm actually the most calm about this flare-up than any of the ones before. The silent treatment thing resonated with me more than anything else and maybe this is why the TMS is trying harder because it knows I'm getting somewhere. I do think my pain might be VERY gradually decreasing again, but I still feel some. I'm wondering how long extinction bursts last? My TMS therapist has told me time and time again that we will heal from this and not think about it again someday - he has a personal experience too.
  11. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    Glad your making progress, your therapists is right. You have to stop the thinking of when this will leave or how long will this thing last. as the great doctor said if one is preoccupied with the body/symptoms they will persists. You have to try to stop trying to heal so badly. Surrender to what is. you will heal when it's your time. It may take some time, so don't get discouraged. Ups and downs are part of the process and a part of life. Good luck look at why you need your symptoms.

    HollDoll and Ellen like this.

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