I decided to go fishing after my last post. It's been quite a few days. The weather was nice and there was only one other person on the lake. As I started fishing, i got hiatal pain and back pain right around 10 mins into it. I tracked the pain, no memories, nothing much. I sat with the pain and it didn't spike beyond a 3 or so. I decided not to monitor it and just focus on having fun and not really worry about whether I would catch a fish. The pain yo-yoed and my mind went from monitoring to no monitoring and being present and then back to monitoring. I finally was able to get my mind off of monitoring and the pain rose in both my back and hiatal area and stayed. It never rose but it stayed. I though to myself "ok, this is fine, I'll just focus on the landscape." I enjoyed the day, the pain was there but it was fine. It finally spiked as I fished for about 1 hour. I decided that was fine and i put my rod away and decided to take photos of the lake. The pain stayed then went away. What I learned was that there are some hard feelings and pressure associated with fishing and my past. There is also the ability to be present and enjoy the moment. It wasn't perfect but honestly I wasn't aiming for perfect. In the beginning I was trepidatious about even casting. The yo-yo effect was my fear going up and down. When it finally settled the pain rose and stayed. I was happy that I was able to fish until the edge of my pain and take a break and do it again. If I can do it without fear and judgment even for 10 mins, I am learning something new.