First time posting

[happygal]

Hi Everyone,
I have been reading your posts for a few years now, but this is my first post.

I know that I have a TMS-susceptible body. I have used the TMS techniques to overcome a variety of stuff in the past few years - back pain, unrelenting stomach aches, all-over body pain. I am not so good at staying aware of my emotions, though, so, inevitably some time will go by, and something will build inside of me, and then out comes some new TMS symptom. And since I can't seem to learn my lesson, it takes me a while to figure out it's TMS again....

Anyway, I am in the midst of an episode. I just wasn't feeling so great for a few weeks - nothing specific; just kind of always felt like a cold was coming on without a lot of energy, with a mild, but lingering headache. Some days I felt better; other days I just wanted to lie in bed. Some days my back ached; some days it didn't. Some days I had incessant heartburn; I realized that since feeling overall, not-so-great on most days, the heartburn has mostly gone away.

This past week, I realized I have a lot of pent-up anger towards my mother (yes, we have an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship). I recalled one of the times I felt worst was after being at her house. Then when I got home, I felt miraculously better. Anyway, since realizing that I have this anger at my mother, I have been having so much palpable anxiety. I think I had my first-ever anxiety attack on Tuesday. I was so light-headed with so much pressure in my chest that I actually went to get checked out by my doctor. (my dad died at 47 of heart disease so there is that stress, too). Needless to say, I checked out ok, and left with a prescription for ativan.

I continue to have this lingering feeling of "feeling not so great" and on the verge of lightheadedness. I have so much anger at my mother right now that I couldn't even look at her yesterday; but working out issues with her is not really feasible right now. She has a number of health issues and I need to keep a good relationship with her because I am her primary source of support. She is also extremely sensitive and I couldn't even envision the consequences of raising any of this stuff with her.

Plus, I have 3 small kids to take care of, including a 6 month old who has yet to sleep through the night. I am sure the fatigue is not helping at all.

Anyway, just looking for some support, words of advice, or wisdom. I have lent out all my TMS books, so don't have those to refer to right now.

Thank you all!

 

[Forest]

Heya, Happygal, and welcome! Thanks for posting.

Relationships can be so challenging, and having to take care of a parent can be so very rough. I get the impression that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, and I wonder if there is a way to give yourself a break or maybe give yourself permission to get some help. You sound like a good and nice person (recognize those words? ) so it is no surprise that your reservoir of rage is getting more full. I wonder if she might be tougher than you think.

 

[Tennis Tom]

Hi Happygal, saw your post last night BUT I was too tired to reply, glad Forest did so you don't feel unsupported here. YOU SHOOULD FEEL TIRED! Caring for three kids AND an aging relative takes HUGE amounts of physical as well as emotional TMS RESERVOIR feeling/filling energy. I've had that "feeling not so great" in similar situations, went to the doc and they couldn't dx anything organic--after a "clinical depression" I realized it was a TMS malaise, fatigue, adrenaline overload--I like the sound of adrenaline overload, it makes it sound more structural.

You're slogging through all this, showing-up, not bailing or coping out with some new-age industrial malady--what choice do you have as a good-ist TMS'er? Just say'in, hang in there, but it ain't gonna' be a bed of roses for a while. Steal some happy moments wherever you can find them. Try to carve out 30 minutes of exercise time for yourself like swimming, running, walking, something aerobic to flush the crap out, and keep you mindbody healthy to face the trials and tribulations. The worst thing I did when I felt like you was stopping ALL physical activity in the hope that totally resting would help-NOPE! Take 3o minutes a day to circulate your juices.

G'luck your web name, Happygal is a good one! Show's a positive underlying attitude.
tt

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

H i, Happygal. You're getting some very good advice. It's essential for feeling better to keep up any exercise you can, especially
something you enjoy. You have some perfect reasons for not feeling great... the kids, your mother.

Besides exercise, practice deep diaphramatic breathing. It helps for relaxation.
Breathe in through your mouth to the count of 4 or 5, hold it a few seconds, then let the breath out
through your mouth slowly. It does wonders for both the mind and body.
You can do it anytime, while cooking, cleaning the house, washing dishes, changing diapers.

 

[happygal]

Thank you for all your suggestions. And Tennis Tom, thanks especially for the inspiration to exercise. I have definitely defaulted into thinking I need more rest, and I think that is actually making things worse.

You all are great. Thanks!