First Time Going Away & Feeling Fear...

eluna

eluna

Peer Supporter
Hello! At the end of the week, I'm going on a little getaway for a week, and it'll be the first time leaving my city in over a year thanks to my immobilising leg pain. I'm excited but I'm also feeling very nervous. Today, I've started getting more pain in my calves again which is only heightening that fear.

For some context: I have all-over body pain and other manifestations of TMS such as fatigue and heartburn. The pain has been most extreme in my calves which stopped me from walking for well over a year. I did SEP earlier this year which helped me make massive improvements and decrease my fear around pain a lot. I'm off the crutches and although I still can't walk very far and still can't put my left foot fully flat, I am walking a lot more normally.

I've booked this week away as I have been feeling the effects of not being able to leave my city (and my little flat/apartment) in so long and I knew I needed a break/time to myself. Although I can't walk far, I'll be right next to the forest, right in the middle of nature and I'm planning to use this as my own lil retreat where I can relax and ground myself again. A part of me is confident that I can do this... but there's a very loud part of me that is scared I'll completely relapse and will be back to not walking again.

I have a lot of tools and know how to soothe this pain/fear very well in my day-to-day life. I have felt use flare-ups start to come on and have found I could very quickly calm them down. The reason I am posting here is for advice on how to manage when first going on holiday and encouragement. Posting and reading the forums here always makes me feel more positive and confident.

Thanks in advance!
 
Congratulations on all your success and hard work!

This is an example of the kind of situation that calls for practicing outcome independence. Keep telling yourself that you can have an enjoyable vacation no matter what your TMS or body does. This takes away the pressure and fear. You'll be fine no matter what happens. Maybe review the sections on this site and in your books and other sources on outcome independence to familiarize yourself with the concept.

You've got this.
 
Yes! Letting go of any pressure to achieve a certain outcome is going to be your key to enjoying your time away. Have compassion for your irrational and primitive TMS brain mechanism, while you keep reminding it that you are perfectly safe, and that symptoms are simply not necessary.:cool: Have a lovely time! :joyful:
 
Just by booking this getaway you’ve already achieved a huge victory. Heck, even just thinking about taking a vacation under such circumstances is a huge win. It shows a deviation from a common TMS thought pattern, that our future is destined to just be spent miserable, at home in pain.

if you have a setback you have a setback. You know you’re dealing with TMS, progress isn’t linear, and as much as they suck, setbacks and flare ups are opportunities to respond differently to our established base narrative to think everything is lost and hopeless.

but no use in worrying about setbacks and flare ups now, look forward to your trip! Praise the absolute hell out of yourself for giving yourself this opportunity. You deserve happiness and joy. You deserve all the good things.



cute bunny.
 
You’ll do great! It’s good to take back your life. This is what Sarno said to do. You’re making so much headway already. This is the next step. I hope you have a wonderful time.
 
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