Last night was a major break through for me. I had spent the day practicing loving kindness, meditation etc. I had a small argument with my boyfriend in the evening. Normally, I would have ruminated on this, would have remained angry, would have suppressed my emotions. I left the room, lay down and did deep breathing. I accepted that I can not change him and that I could change my own emotions. I allowed my feelings of frustration and anger to be present. Then I came out and had dinner. Strangely the pain was gone. It was gone. I proceeded to do some physical activity after dinner the normally would have left me crippled. I had no pain. It was amazing. Today I am still feeling good. I walked for 5 miles and meditated loving kindness practice. If I can be like this last night, I can continue to be like this in the future. The fear is diminshing. Since my family doesn't understand and I am going through this quietly by myself, I thought I would share it here.