All, Disclaimer, this is my first post, as I am finally after many..many...many...years of being a devote TMS believer reaching out to others in this forum. (I am trying to man-up here!) When I first read Sarnos books years ago, I was reading a perfect representation of myself in page over page. Unbelievable and I was instantly convinced, but didn't share with others as most people aren't opened minded in today's society. I realized I had been "dealing" with TMS for 20+ years, and now in my 40's feel physically better than in my 20's. I literally would barely get around feeling like I had the back of a 100yr old or something (no offense to the older generation). I have flare ups/relapses periodically, but a week ago after finishing a 12 mile run, I had a set back. The run was great, no pain just soreness which is typical. I then proceeded to do some minor stretches when I apparently had a great "low back spasm". I could not bend and the tie my shoes or anything normal. Stupid right! I 100% know this is TMS as my run was flawless, and I currently put in 100 miles a week running. So I tried to reflect on circumstances and events currently in my life, but had to give in. I went to the doc for a steroid shot, pain killer...muscle relaxer....you know the routine. All with no effect. It had been a while since I had such a relapse and my job requires traveling that I needed some "relief quickly ". Well fast forward to yesterday 1 week ago since my "phantom spasm" I wake up with literally no spasm pain, but now my left leg was numb from the knee thru my calf. Again, TMS shifting thru the body....AND I SHOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY! I just feel like a failure to myself for not being able to accept this in a deeper level. Which brings me to here and now. I have read the posts here in this forum for some time, read books, listened to audio and video talks by the great Forest/Steve O...etc...and truly believe. I am hoping "sucking it up" and actually reaching out to others will help me with this latest phase in my lifetime TMS experiences. I think this site is so helpful and have much love for everyone out here, and hope that all of you are doing well. I appreciate this opportunity to post my thoughts and a little bit of venting and whining on my part as well. I feel that here I have friends that I can reach out to going forward vs trying to battle this "crap" all by myself. God Bless everyone!