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Day 5 finally a weekend without obsessing over pain

V

valerie

Peer Supporter
For the first time in more than six months, I can say I had a nice weekend. Before I had shared that I was nervous about my husband coming home and telling him about TMS. He knew I was feeling better and that I had stopped taking all my pain meds, but he had no idea what I was doing. We went to a late dinner and I told him the whole thing. And to my pleasant surprise, he needed absolutely no convincing. He got it right away. My symptoms started right after our honeymoon was over and he recognized the stress I was going through before the wedding trying to keep everyone else happy and holding in my feelings, and it's something he recognizes in me anyway. I didn't need to give him any other evidence or things to read - he said he was proud of me and was happy to have his wife back.

We didn't do a whole lot this weekend, but what I didn't do was complain about pain or be afraid to let him touch my leg, which has been the main source of my pain.

Today I had a massage, something I have been afraid to do for months because I thought it might make my pain worse. Just writing that sounds pretty silly. I had gotten massages but I had told the masseuse to be careful of my left leg or that I had back pain, or blah blah, blah, today i just said I was tense and wanted to relax. I used to be so careful with my left knee since it hurt so bad. Today she rubbed it and it didn't feel any different than my right. I actually enjoyed the massage, probably the first one I have enjoyed since my honeymoon.

The pain is still kind of there, but I'm not dwelling on it. I'm hopefully it will be completely gone soon! Thanks Dr. Sarno and this forum. I finally feel like I'm on the mend.
 
Valerie
This is very encouraging! Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so happy that your husband is supportive and encouraging. He'll be an incredible source of support for you, I know mine is. My symptoms had been around for about 18 months when I found this site and read of one Dr. Sarno's books. By that time we has spent lots of money on lots of "treatments" trying to find out what was wrong and fix it - all of them in vain. My self-confidence has never been what I would consider to be strong, and after all those "failed" attempts, I was not trusting my own judgment at all. When I finished the book I asked him to read it and tell me what he thought. His thought when he finished the book "when did you see this doctor and how come I didn't know he wrote a book about you?":)

Congrats on conquering your fears of letting anyone touch the "painful" areas. That's a huge accomplishment, I hope you celebrate for yourself! I find massages to be very relaxing. I get one once a month as part of my "be kind to Leslie project". My masseuse and I have an agreement: I don't tell her what areas have been "bothering me" and she doesn't tell me what areas she finds increased tension. It's a win-win for both of us since masseuses really enjoy a break from the "this is what's wrong with me today" discussions that they have with most of their clients!
Leslie
 
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