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Day 8 Figuring out Emotions

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by jrid32, Dec 22, 2015.

  1. jrid32

    jrid32 Peer Supporter

    Since I have come to the realization that I am stoic, I am having a tough time figuring out which emotions (or repressed emotions) are causing my pain. Any tips? Please remember I even have a hard time recognizes emotions...

    On a side note, today's task of writing a letter to a person caused me much anger made me feel really good!!! It was a great journaling exercise that made me express some repressed emotions I had towards this person and the situations a faced during my time with that person.
    Stella and JanAtheCPA like this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, jrid. Being stoic must be a problem in discovering repressed emotions. But don't despair. You will find ways for TMS symptoms to go away as you progress in the SEProgram.

    I'm glad that writing a letter to that person in anger then made you feel good. You got out of your system things you must not have been able to say directly to that person. Letter writing may be a big help to you in expressing your emotions. Now now try to forgive. Maybe even put yourself in their shoes, which can lead to better understanding.

    I just did a Youtube search for stoic and see that there are some interesting videos you might look at.
    jrid32 likes this.
  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi jrid, and congrats for getting this far! Stoicism is too often praised and approved in our society, so it's a very hard habit to break! It's also, in many families, a survival technique, making it even tougher.

    Here's my suggestion: when I was doing the writing exercises, especially making lists, I literally heard my brain telling me "oh, don't write THAT down, THAT'S not important!". Or, even worse, "Don't write THAT down, it's too embarrassing/shameful/distressing". I had to fight against those messages, and write those things down anyway. When I went back to look at them in more detail later, which is part of the program, they were very revealing of past interactions and family relationships and helped explain who I was when I was much younger. Even the things that really did seem unimportant - it turned out that they were not earth-shattering or distressing, but they were revealing. Some of the things were from childhood, others were from young adulthood. It doesn't matter - anything that your brain tries to keep hidden is going to be important in discovering what things it has been repressing.

    I actually had a very nice, secure, and loving childhood with both parents. But they were only human, and as Freud said, every child is full of resentments, anger, shame, and guilt over the littlest things that happen in childhood, mostly because we resent being forced to grow up and face the realities of the world outside the safety of our mother's breast! A child with a dysfunctional, neglectful, or abusive childhood has even more anger and guilt to deal with than those of us with happy childhoods. All of these things have to do with primitive survival techniques of the brain - they do not serve us in the modern world, but we are stuck with our brains as they are unless we can evolve WAY beyond where we are now.

    Good luck, and keep posting!

    Stella likes this.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi jrid32,

    Great responses so far...

    I would add
    -feel your sense of stoicness, in whatever way this manifests in your body
    -inquire into the experience as you feel it, to the best of your ability: What are the thoughts associated with it, what you call being "stoic?" How does this experience relate to feeling safe, afraid, protected, solid, etc. Just allow the stoic experience, and get to know how it works in you. What function does it have? What value does it have?
    -your awareness of your stoic feelings is a good start. That in itself may have a lot of material to journal about. You might not assume that it is masking a lot underneath necessarily. This experience of being "stoic" itself may be very important in understanding inner relationships with superego, Inner Child, etc. It sounds very rich to me!

    Andy B.
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  5. Stella

    Stella Well known member

    Boy, i sure didn't like the description of being stoic. It was so important to me to be accepted, liked and not be rejected I guess showing no emotion increased my odds of not offending any one.

    I visually"see" everything going on around me. I see disapproval. I watched my Mother so closely hoping I would do something she liked then she would love me.

    From that experience I have learned to"watch" everyone around me. When i"see" disapproval I then have acid reflux, neck pain, low back pain or many of my other numerous TMS symptoms. This program has given me the tools to manage myself. You will learn them too.
    jrid32 and JanAtheCPA like this.

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