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Day 25 Fighting Reality

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by MSZ812, Apr 22, 2017.

  1. MSZ812

    MSZ812 Well known member

    Today's reading from Dr. Schubiner revolved around the idea of healing as a process. For those of us in this program, our healing from TMS was not instantaneous. I love those stories about a person reading "Healing Back Pain" for 30 minutes and being completely healed from years of pain. But that's not us. And that's ok. Our healing is a journey.

    Dr. Schubiner wrote a poem for those of us whose healing takes time:

    "Notice what has been hidden;

    Understand what has been a mystery.

    Speak what has been unspoken;

    Confront what has been avoided.

    Accept what needs to be accepted;

    Forgive what needs to be forgiven.

    Change what needs to be changed."

    Those are great thoughts to dwell on. I had a rough morning emotionally today. I live with my sister's family, so my niece is in my life every day. I am the fun uncle, the one who shows her the way to go down the slide as fast as possible, the one who surprises her with ice cream after picking her up from school, the one who spoils her with trips to mini golf, bowling, and the movies on weekends and school holidays. I want her childhood to be remembered as CONSTANT FUN, just as I remember my early years. My 6 year old niece had a health scare this morning, and I had to wait patiently for the results from the doctor. Before this program, that fear and tension would manifest as upper back pain. It would distract me from my current worries. I'm known to hold things in. Today, as I sit at home waiting for the phone call, I let myself FEEL those emotions. I began to cry, for many minutes. I let all the fears about my niece come to the surface. It was... AWFUL. Well, at least in the moment. I can see why my unconscious mind would prefer distractions of physical pain to the mental distress I was feeling. By the end of my cry session, I felt very calm, like I had nothing left to pour out. I realized how healthy it is to let my emotions surface and deal with them as they come. An hour later, I get a call from my sister, assuring me that my niece's tests came back healthy, and that the diagnosis was not serious and would most likely resolve shortly. Thankfully, I didn't have to store those emotions for a future moment in time. That's why I titled this post as "fighting reality". I was able to face my emotional distress and not fight against the situation I found myself in. I didn't have to be brave, I didn't need the pain to distract me from reality.

    - Matt
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Matt. You handled that stressful situation real well. A good cry can relieve a lot of tension. It sounds like you have a lot of good fun with you young niece. And you are giving her lots of good childhood memories. The Schubiner poem has a lot of good TMS in it. Accepting and forgiving helped a lot in my healing. I hope your weekend was pleasant.
    MSZ812 likes this.

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