Felt TMS Moving to Other Parts of My Body

[ChalupaMan]

Hi everyone. I hope all is well. I posted here last year about my TMS symptoms. For a while, I was still having incredible pain and fatigue, and at one point odd sensations in my left hand, especially in my index finger, when I type, but in the past few months, that had been getting better and I'm now at a point where I can do a lot more typing and ignore a lot of the issues there. It was incredibly bad a while ago where i could feel some super irritated tight muscles between the index and middle finger there, but when I worked hard overnight to work on making my keyboard even easier to use and all, the pain was nearly gone and I was able to type more than ever.

I've been writing TMS diaries each day in Word and learning to get more acquainted with my feelings. There was a time this week where I stayed up until 4 am, and got this massive headache after, but again, hand pain nearly nonexistent. Now when I started to work on stuff for this company I'm at which I'm doing remotely, some of the fatigue and muscle stiffness came right back, and I could see what was really going.

I think my TMS is largely triggered by my job and how angry I feel about not being where I want to be and deep regret over not getting into another career at the beginning, although with the little work experience I had at the time, I knew that I was going to be in a situation where I was going to be doing work below my true capabilities. I haven't taken a vacation in nearly 3 years and I miss my dad so much. I want to see him again so badly and take the week off to fly oout and see him once more. I was also feeling guilty because I signed up to do a second bacehlors degree online, but I haven't made much progress in it at all and was considering dropping out to do something else.

My dog also had to be euthanized two weeks ago, so that's been putting a lot of emotional strain on my family too, and even to this day, I still think about the first minor car accident I was in, though I've been getting over that a lot, and I moved into a new apartment with my mom late in December, so there was a lot I had to get used to. It's a place where I sadly can't make as much money as I want for now or have the better job I want yet.

Also discovered that I've had feelings for the person I work for secretly, and that has also been an internal struggle because I know that for many reasons, it wouldn't happen or work in reality. I look up to her so much and want to be just like her one day, and it was painful when she got disappointed me in me last year and the mistake I had made last summer. Another thing to note is that I had my physical recently and everything was normal except for my cholesterol levels. They were at 140, and I highly suspect it might be because I've been so stressed out.

I'm doing all I can to challenge my TMS and show my brain who's boss, and that there's nothing structurally wrong with my hand, and there's nothing to fear, although letting go of the past is sometimes very challenging for me because I'm a perfectionist who overanalyzes so much. I even had an X-Ray on it which revealed nothing back in December. Been to other orthopedic professionals and they would tell me I had intrinsic tendonitis and then wouldn't give me an MRI because he thought it wouldn't have revealed anything that serious.

Just wanted to make this thread and wanted to get more information about why TMS can suddenly change places and manifest itself as other symptoms like headache, nausea like I was having today, and more? I want to know what it all means for me. I got sidetracked admittedly with massage and chiropractors and all those things that don't really solve the true problem in the long run.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi ChalupaMan and welcome back to the forum.

The ability of our brains to create pain and sensations for absolutely no reason is well-known. Phantom limb pain is a perfect example. The best phantom-limb story I know of is the Ted Talk by neurologist V.S. Ramachandran, especially the bit where his patient's sensations turn into something completely different and also totally weird.

This is just more proof that our brains can totally make up sensations that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

And what I say, over and over again, is that your brain is perfectly capable of creating a sensation just for you - one that is so unique, you will never find another person with a similar sensation.

When you spend time searching for someone who has that same sensation, guess what? That's your TMS brain, tricking you, once again, into wasting time on a distracting activity.

Look, you've been scoped, poked, and examined, and there is no physiological explanation for your symptoms. The only logical explanation left is TMS!

~Jan

 

[ChalupaMan]

Right. I always have to continue to remind myself of that point. Some days, it gets a bit discouraging, but it's pretty good to know that despite the trials and tribulations, I'm still on the right track. Compared to how my pain was last year, it's much better than it's ever been. Before seeing a doctor, the pain was all over that area. Now it's just a bit of aching and restriction in those muscles and that's it. I continue to type, though some days I'm tempted to take time off. I sometimes forget that.

My worrying was at an all time high today, but I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

We all go through it. I am SO much better now about thinking psychologically, sooner rather than later - but it's only natural to think about physical causes at first. Life has felt really stressful lately (I think it's an epidemic, actually, between world problems and information overload) and some days, the list of symptoms and sensations that come and go for me is somewhat alarming. And then hilarious. I still get out the pen and paper and start free-writing. It's really helpful to get some odd things to the surface of consciousness.