We've been on the road for 2 weeks now and I've been feeling pretty good this tour. I've had minimal pain for the first time in 2 years and I've started practicing again, 2 things I thought I'd never be able to do, especially while on the road. I have noticed a little bit of pain that has migrated to my hands and wrists, but I know it's just TMS fighting for a way to distract me. The last couple days have been rough though. Yesterday we had a 9 1/2 hour drive from Wyoming to Montana and it was my turn to drive. We arrived just in time for soundcheck with no time for dinner. We then played for about 8 people and made a wopping $120. I then slept on the floor of our friend's basement apartment. It was a pretty degrading night all in all. I felt insecure about my playing, my band and whether I was good enough. I felt sad and angry all day today. We head home for the last leg of this tour tomorrow, which is nice I guess. I always get anxious when we're about to leave on a tour and when we're about to get home from one. It's like there's a re-entry period that I have to go thru. I'm excited to be home but that also means obligations that I don't have to worry about when I'm traveling. I've also been so busy and stuck with my bandmates that I haven't been able to do any journaling or SEP work. I'm writing this about 10 minutes before we go on tonight. Hopefully tonight's show is a little better. Either way, my goal is to be gentle with myself and to connect to the emotions- which right now is a lot of anger, frustration, fear and sadness. They don't put this stuff in the brochures for being a musician at career day.