Feeling or repressing an emotion?

[Avy]

Ok so lately I focused on feeling my emotions and I thought I finally got it. But, almost every time I try to do so when something happens that makes me sad or angry, an heaviness/pressure in my chest appears. I know that an emotion should have physical manifestation but I'm not so sure that most of the time it should look the same, especially since I read somewhere that it could be a sign of repressing emotions. I'm kinda confused if I'm on the right path or not and how to overcome this? Any thought on this matter are appreciated.

 

[Ryan]

Your over complicating the simple. Just know repressed emotions exists. To keep obsessing over them and if your feeling them correctly is playing right into the tms beast. Hope this helps hang in there and start living. We are what we believe.

Ryan

 

[ezer]

Avy, you are doing fine I think. Just remember that anger is a secondary emotion. You are angry because .... You feel disrespected? You feel humiliated? You feel ignored? You feel trapped? That is what you need to work on. Anger is simply a protection mechanism.

But as Ryan said: Don't over analyze. Don't over intellectualize. Just feel and experience. That's all there is to it.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I agree with what others have said, and would add that you're making progress: you're attending to the feeling(s).

Bringing attention --attuning to the feelings, means that they will deepen, unfold, reveal themselves in more depth, more variety and specificity, over time. You're doing it, and you have no idea where they will go, or what they will point to, which can be unsettling. That is one reason we "tend not to feel." Attending, as you are practicing, is sufficient.

 

[Avy]

Thank you guys for your advice!
Ezer I think that this is where I'm a little bit stuck. When I ask myself why am I angry and I don't know the answer everytime or when the heaviness in chest appears I don't know what the hell am I feeling. Sometimes anxiety kicks in but now I know the difference between that and emotion.
I will keep on with practicing and hopefully will get there with time.

 

[ezer]

Usually you get a glimpse of what makes you angry for a split second before it happens. You get angry in reaction to a primary emotion or more exactly, you get angry to repress that primary emotion and not feel it.

More controversial but it worked like a charm for me, you can ask your unconscious mind via muscle testing. While standing you can ask yourself yes or no questions. If the question has a positive answer, your body will sway forward slightly. If a negative your body will sway backward. You can then zero in on what really bothers your mind.

Try it: Stand. Say my name is Avy. Observe your body. Then say my name is Tom. Observe again. Then move on to pertinent questions like "am I angry because of my work" yes/no etc.

Again, I am not pushing it on anyone. It just worked for me to find buried emotions.

 

[Avy]

This is actually a great advice. My gut tells me that technique with feeling emotions is the best in my case. I tried it today and sometimes I don't get an answer, and some answers really surprised me. Now I just have to learn to feel body sensations around my emotions and not repress them.

I had a conflict situation today and my heart rate went up and I started to shake ( it's how I usually react in most situations like that) because I got angry aka annoyed. Usually I would start cursing and obsessing with the situation but I concentrated on just being with sensations and not thinking about it. It's a hard, hard work I have to admit.

 

[ezer]

Usually you won't get an answer if the question is too complicated or ambiguous. Your subconscious only understands the most simple questions that have a yes or no answer.

You can ask the age range for example:
Did I suffer trauma during childhood? Yes
Was the traumatic event during age 0-10? Yes
Was the traumatic event during age 0-5? No
Was the traumatic event during age 6-10? Yes
Was the traumatic event age 6? No
Was the traumatic event age 7? Yes
Was the traumatic event at school? etc.

Double negations are completely lost on your unconscious mind.

 

[Avy]

That makes sense. Just another question - if I manage to find traumatic events, do I just have to be aware of them or try to feel emotions around that events?

 

[ezer]

You definitely want to feel the emotion(s) attached to the event. That mean teacher that made you feel stupid in front of the class. Feel the emotion. Maybe it was humiliation. Self-esteem. But no matter what: feel --don't think. Thinking will simply re-traumatize you. You want to discharge the emotion.

Also the muscle testing can help you in the day to day stuff that is as important.
Ask: did some event today contribute to my symptoms/pain? Yes. Was it the meeting with my boss this morning? yes/no etc.

Don't forget to also stop going into your negative thoughts patterns. You negate the work you do if you continue to put pressure on yourself.

Again it worked for me. YMMV. Not strictly Sarno orthodoxy. I went nowhere for 2 years strictly sticking to Sarno. It is when I discovered Abigail Steidley and Monte Hueftle. Then Eckhart Tolle.

The muscle testing comes from a NLP practitioner I met. It is also in the "emotion code" by Bradley Nelson (don't rush to buy the book, it is not very good. Asking Y/N questions and observing your body is it).

 

[Avy]

I've known of Abigail Steidley for years but I only recently started to dig deeper into her blog posts, especially since I know that she healed from pelvic pain. Things started to make sense and I learned new things.

SEP was only putting a pressure on me, especially journaling. I will focus on muscle testing and see where it will get me. This is a lot of helpful information, thanks ezer!

 

[ezer]

Thanks Avy. While this muscle testing may sound spooky or new-agey, it is in fact simply a self-administered lie detector.

In any case just use muscle testing as a tool. I certainly don't recommend getting fixated on the technique trying to find minute incidents in your past.

You can also use your own dreams. Tell yourself before drifting to sleep that you would like to dream about what is contributing to your symptoms. You will have amazingly vivid dreams and wake up right after.

Journaling was a futile exercise for me. It did nothing. Structured programs like Schubiner's were too rigid. They ultimately set goals and expectations. I had much better luck following my intuition and sticking to what I was doing without any sense of timeline.

BTW, if I take Ambien and to this day, my pelvic/pudendal pain will come back the next day. As bad as ever.
If you look at the following article it makes sense.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/06/16/common-sleep-aid-ambien-intensifies-emotional-negative-memories/56097.html (Common Sleep Aid, Ambien, Intensifies Emotional, Negative Memories | Psych Central News)

I also healed after I stopped taking opioid pain medication. When on opioids, I could not feel my emotions.

It is all about emotions.

 

[Avy]

I tried with dreams last night, didn't have much results. Woke up in the morning remembering just a part of my dream and it didn't make any sense, but will try again this evening. Regarding muscle testing, I think I will use it only to find primary emotion because it's something I'm still struggling with or when I feel body sensation but can't connect it with corresponding emotion.

I believe that everyone should follow their own gut. For instance any kind of pressure or program doesn't work for me, but it doesn't mean it won't work on somebody else. Also, trying to keep it simple and finding a few ways that are helping is sometimes better in my opinion than reading tons of books because you can easily get lost in it.

I'm taking Neurontin but I cut it down a lot when I learned about TMS (I was on a high dosage plus was taking antidepressants at a time) and I'm hoping to be completely off soon. I never took opiates but in high level of pain I was very tempted.