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Daniel L. Feeling like you're doing something wrong

Discussion in 'Ask a TMS Therapist' started by eskimoeskimo, Feb 21, 2016.

  1. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

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    Question
    How do I counteract feeling like I must be doing something wrong, and feeling guilty about it, whenever I have symptoms? Even when I try to do nothing about it, my symptoms are so disorienting and strong that I start to think I must be 'doing nothing' wrong too. It's a runaway train.
     
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  2. Daniel G Lyman LCSW

    Daniel G Lyman LCSW TMS Therapist

    Answer
    I have good news for you: you can’t do ‘nothing’ wrong. That feeling of pressure and the feeling that you’re doing something wrong is exactly the reason that you’re in this mess.

    I can’t tell you how to get rid of that feeling, because it’s not a feeling at all. It’s a cognition – a thought – and the only reason that it’s sticking around is because you believe it. Part of you believes that you are doing something wrong, and therefore you deserve to be reminded of it. I can tell you right now, however, that you are not doing anything wrong. The only thing that’s “wrong” about the whole situation is that you think you’re doing something wrong. And by telling yourself that you are doing something wrong, then you are bullying yourself.

    Perfectionism is a disease that afflicts most people with TMS. Learning how to be patient and forgiving with yourself is tricky, but it starts by recognizing that the thoughts in your head about your failings can be and often are complete garbage. At this point, they are a habit, and the only way to break a habit is to keep reminding yourself that you’re doing great, even in the moments of stress. Fill your head with what you’re doing right, not what you’re doing wrong. It will take some time before it becomes natural, but keep working at it. You’ll get there.


    Any advice or information provided here does not and is not intended to be and should not be taken to constitute specific professional or psychological advice given to any group or individual. This general advice is provided with the guidance that any person who believes that they may be suffering from any medical, psychological, or mindbody condition should seek professional advice from a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions. No general advice provided here should be taken to replace or in any way contradict advice provided by a qualified, registered/licensed physician and/or psychotherapist who has the opportunity to meet with the patient, take a history, possibly examine the patient, review medical and/or mental health records, and provide specific advice and/or treatment based on their experience diagnosing and treating that condition or range of conditions.

    The general advice and information provided in this format is for informational purposes only and cannot serve as a way to screen for, identify, or diagnose depression, anxiety, or other psychological conditions. If you feel you may be suffering from any of these conditions please contact a licensed mental health practitioner for an in-person consultation.

    Questions may be edited for brevity and/or readability.

     
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