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Feeling like I can't do this!

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by mousemom, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    I am feeling down. I scheduled an appointment with my pain doctor since the back pain has not even remotely lifted in the last three months. I have been doing the SEP, taking muscle relaxers, Advil. But no relief. I am getting desperate since my family needs me. My boys just started school, sports, etc. I can't continue to feel this way. The problem is I don't know what to do? I know the dr is going to suggest a steroid injection like in the past but I really don't want one but at the same time I need something. I just feel sad that I can't control this TMS. I know my husband is tired of all of it too. It is even hard for us to be close right now. I can't even enjoy a motorcycle ride with him anymore, something I truly miss. I guess I am stuck. Should I get an injection or keep pushing through? Any advice? Thanks!
     
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    mousemom,- I am feeling down. I scheduled an appointment with my pain doctor since the back pain has not even remotely lifted in the last three months.

    Eric)- We wont always have shifts so soon, a lot times it takes a lot more time- I know that seems like forever but somehow you haven't fully let you subconscious transist or you would still be aiming- keep aiming at the finish line you'll win, if you back away its like you'll have to start all over - why not try by not trying. after you see the doc and they say what they will, let us know how your doing- we got this pain over years and years- its going to take a while to lose it ya know.


    mousemom,- I have been doing the SEP, taking muscle relaxers, Advil. But no relief. I am getting desperate since my family needs me. My boys just started school, sports, etc. I can't continue to feel this way. The problem is I don't know what to do? I know the dr is going to suggest a steroid injection like in the past but I really don't want one but at the same time I need something. I just feel sad that I can't control this TMS.

    Eric)- you can control the tms- you just have begun, seriously. Why not get the injection- if your hurting then you can finish with a little help from the soothing dr. sometimes we have to take pain medicine to get over the hump- your on the hump that's all- don't give up we still have to hear that success story mousemom.



    mousemom,- I know my husband is tired of all of it too. It is even hard for us to be close right now. I can't even enjoy a motorcycle ride with him anymore, something I truly miss. I guess I am stuck. Should I get an injection or keep pushing through? Any advice? Thanks!

    Eric)- My advice, if the Dr ordered this shot- take it, and still keep pushing through- don't let it be like a chore but more like a good happy time that you know if you stay course it'll happen- if you stress over it, it will never happen - be light on yourself and stay the course ok, you came this far so stay course. your not a coward if you get a shot.
    And taking a break wont hurt either.
     
    plum likes this.
  3. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sorry to hear you struggle.
    In the past months, did you see any relation between stress and the pain?
    Maybe it is good to lighten up the mood for you and between you and your husband. For example, this may sounds ludicrous but it's just an idea :) , why not take a virtual motorcycle ride together? With this I mean just closing your eyes, imagining it and talking each other through what you see, feel, smell or hear. I bet you'll have a laugh and a cry and feel better afterwards...

    hang in there!
     
    yb44 and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  4. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sweetheart, I honestly believe every single person here has felt as you do. TMS is horrid enough without it messing up our lives, relationships AND demanding that we face it square on! How wretched. Why not give yourself a break? Quit chasing the answers, take the shot if it helps, do nothing, regroup. In many ways tms work is a lot like exercise. You workout like a beast and ache for immediate benefits and yet the boons roll out over time and during rest periods. It's some kinda law of nature. You can try too hard and in so doing, unintentionally reinforce the very behaviours you're trying to root out. If I had a magic wand I'd wave it till my arm dropped off but sadly, or sublimely, it doesn't work that way. In the end, with healing comes the most profound sense of who you are, gifts and all. Be easy and rest.
     
    Ellen and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  5. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle


    This is something that everyone doing this approach needs to understand. Our desire to be pain free can create high levels of pressure that fuel our TMS. One question we all need to ask ourselves is why do we want to become pain free. Is it so we can be the perfect parent or have the perfect career we desire? If so, we will continue to generate rage and inner stress. Recovering from TMS is about something we want to do for ourselves. It can only be approached from a place of relaxation and with the understanding that we will heal on our own time. In so doing we will no longer be generating the inner tension that fuels our TMS.
     
    Imagyx likes this.
  6. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Thank you all so much for all your kind comments. I saw the dr yesterday & he prescribed oral steroids. I said "what the heck, I'll take them". He said you'll just have to live with some type of pain for the rest of your life. Then he said to exercise more to build my core, etc... I had to take some X-rays to make sure there isn't problems with my facets? Still waiting on those results. If the steroids don't work he wants to schedule a steroid injection. I know I am fighting TMS. I believe it only 95% that's my problem. It is just so hard when you constantly feeling this pain. I won't stop. I have started experimenting with EFT, kept journaling, & hopefully start to walk around the block again. I do know I need to get in shape but just to feel good not only for my back.

    You are all correct that I am trying to find the magic word, book, blah, blah, blah. Too much, too much!! I find the EFT relaxing even if it is not clearing up my pain right now. But I will keep on & with the help of all you wonderful people I can see this through. Now I just have to believe it. Ha!
     
  7. mousemom

    mousemom Peer Supporter

    Also just started the Sedona Method. Loving it so far. Trying to read something other than TMS books right now.
     
  8. Birdie

    Birdie Peer Supporter

    Mousemom, how can one say just such a horrible thing to a person in pain? I guess most folks here in the TMS forum were confronted with such useless and damaging prognoses. That's a really bad kind of nocebo. PLEASE, even if it's hard, don't believe it!
    I am suffering from severe pain in both feet since 1996 and had not one single day without footpain since then (being unable to walk more than half a mile or stand longer than 5 mins). I was told I've to live with this pain for the rest of of life due to pain memory...bla,bla.
    Guess what? It's getting better since a few months. Very slighly, but it is! I once disovered the mechanism behind my footpain and since then my fear lessened. And with the fear the pain.
    Unfortunatley that's not the case for my other TMS-spots (collected some over the years :D) where my fear is still in charge.
    So getting some relief is really ok. But perhaps you should go to another doc. I am lucky I found a doc who believes in the power of psychosomatic (I told him about TMS). And he's an orthopedic. That's really seldom ;)

    Um, and I am not sure weather it's a good idea to look for the facets. Sure some serious damage should be ruled out. And on the other hand the "facet joints" are often blamed for back pain which is TMS. So if your doctor will blame the facet joints for your pain perhaps it would be a good idea to show these pictures to a real TMS-doc!
     
  9. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Mousemom. You said you think your pain is 95% TMS. It has to be 100 % or your unconscious mind will
    keep the pain coming. It may be the hardest part of Dr. Sarno's healing pain program, and I kept resisting that
    my pain was 1o0 percent TMS and some of it not from aging (I'm 83).

    Like the others posting, If it were me, I'd take the oral steroids.

    Also, try to think of reasons to be happy each day. Each hour. Forget that school just started up again.
    That may have been the trigger point for more pain. Take each day, each hour, as they come.
    Live in the moment.

    None of this is easy, but it can help.
     
  10. stayfit65

    stayfit65 Peer Supporter

    I was told I had "facet arthropathy" from my MRI, but that pain just faded away in a matter of months. This low back pain at the very bottom is much improved, but it has taken about 16 months...it is still hanging around, but I expect it will eventually fade away. I have read several books, but one of my favorites is Mind Power into the 21st Century by John Kehoe. It has some fabulous affirmation stuff. I don't listen to anyone who talks about facet joints and bulging discs anymore. I know that I have a strong healthy back and it is just taking time to retrain neural pathways. Don't get it a rush to heal. I was trying to do that some for a while, but now I am trying to be in the moment and not rush to heal...that is pure TMSing at its finest. Try to pay attention to those stressful times to see if that is when your pain increases...that is a true indicator of TMS, then you can rest assured of the diagnosis and relax...best wishes.
     
  11. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    If my doctor or someone told me I had "facet arthropathy" (whatever that is), I'd have a panic attack.
    They're scaring you into feeling pain. Shame on them. Even if it was true, keep it to themselves.

    So the pain just faded away in a few months. I'm glad you know your back is strong and healthy.
    You just have to convince your unconscious mind you know that.

    Stay in the moment and be patient in your healing. You'll get there, as many of us have.
     

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