Still focusing on anxiety and fear. I read Hope and help for your nerves by Claire Weekes. It's a great book, but I think I need to read it again more slowly in order to fully understand the instructions. There is a direct link between my anxiety and pain. If a take a sedative in the afternoon or in the evening, I feel way less pain the next morning/day. So I am a little confused which to address first, anxiety of pain, or both? And how to combine the two? Today I tried just accepting all the strange bodily sensations my anxiety is producing and telling myself this is nothing to worry about. I was doing pretty ok for the first half od the day, but when I returned home, there were more and more symptoms appearing, untill finally I was not able to function anymore. I was not conciously afraid, but I still became extremely tense. That was in the middle of making lunch, so I couldn't just leave everything. I am aware this will take time and I am not discouraged, I am just not sure I am doing it right. I am also attending a two week light excercise program. My goal is to lose fear of movement. It's working but it makes me very very tired and in a lot more pain than usual. I think I may be putting to much pressure on myself. It's my vacation and instead of going somewhere nice to enjoy and relax from work I am doing this excercise program I described above. It is obligatory, the doctor prescribed it, so if I don't show up it could complicate my insurance. But my days are "ruined" because I am so tired I lie in bed for the rest of the day, just reading about anxiety, MBS, doing the SEP... I also don't dare to spend any money on vacation, because I only work part time and my contract expires by the end of the year, so I am anxious about my future. On top of everything, I can't really figure out what to do for my enjoyment. The things I used to like, are meaningless now. The things I would like to to - like dancing, hiking, sports in general... are temporarily impossible because of the pain. My therapist is also on vacation so I can't really talk to anyone. I ditched all my fake friends in the past couple of years. I am a people pleaser, always ready to help, always available to listen and advise... So people only call me when they need someone to listen/talk about their problems, they never invite me just to hang out and have fun. I am not at all sorry I did this, but it means I must accept being alone for a while, until I meet new people that will deserve my time and attention. I do accept, but it's quite hard.