Hello, this is my first post. I have been an information technology professional for almost 30 years. I had mild RSI up until the migration home in march because of the pandemic. I am pretty sure that my home set up was not adequate and led to me straining to use the mouse because of an improper desk and chair. I started developing symptoms two months ago out of the blue wherein I would have terrible burning pain on either side of my right forearm. It seemed to centralize just below the elbow. I went to see a doctor and was diagnosed with tendinitis. I started going to a physiotherapist who agreed with the diagnosis. I would get deep tissue massage and tens/ice every visit. It seemed to be taking forever to make any difference and then I had a relapse about a month later and it was almost worse than when I first started. There didn't seem to be any particular event physically that led to this onset and as I say I have been using computers since the Vic 20 back in 1980. I never had RSI before. I understand that I probably was doing slow and steady damage to my tendons and I definitely do have an injury. In May of this year my wife was driving my car to do some shopping and an idiot switched into her lane going in the wrong direction. He was later tested positive for marijuana use and alcohol. The car was destroyed and my wife was badly injured. She has been off work ever since and I've been caring for her as best I can. But with the pandemic and an angsty teenage daughter it has been a challenge. My work has been fantastic and has provided me with a variety of ergonomic tools and aids. Right now I am dictating this with DragonDictate that was provided by them. I am using a roller mouse from contour and a trackball from Kensington which I switch between every few minutes so that I can continue working. If I go back to using my computer or video games the way I used to I am instantly in agony. I can barely imagine a life without either of these things but I must continue as I am the sole breadwinner now that my wife is injured. I don't know how to do anything else, computers have been my life since I was a child. For over two months now I haven't been able to do any of the things that I enjoy. Even attempting other activities like reading is difficult because I cannot hold a book for any length of time. Listening to e-books and watching television is really all that's left to me. I have started to have some pretty dark thoughts. I read the divided mind by Dr. Sarno and I feel like there is potential value in some of the exercises within and to supplement this I purchased a one year subscription to curable. The problem is I am caught in that fear loop I'm sure everyone is familiar with. I am unsure whether the pain is caused by the original injury or whether my mind is so panicked at the prospect of losing my livelihood and being unable to provide for my family that it is creating the pain as a distraction. I am afraid that if I continue working and using these techniques that I may do permanent damage and eventually be completely unable to do any of the things I enjoy let alone provide for my family. Last night I had the worst panic attack I've ever had and I am not prone to them. I have a reputation within my company and my family as a rock. And I know that this is part of my goodist tendencies and I'm sure that image is playing into the problem. I feel like nothing I do works and I am becoming hopeless. Earlier this week I was diagnosed as having clogged arteries and I am diabetic so I live with the sword of Damocles over my head already due to the potential of stroke or heart attack. I'm starting to feel like there is so much damage here that I'm not worth repairing. I'm not looking for sympathy I'm just wondering if anybody else has been in the same situation and what they did, if anything, to be able to dig their way out of it. I know there are success stories available but I would like to know if anyone had this or a similar situation and what a potential solution might be.