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Feeling Desperate

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by platypodes, Apr 27, 2021.

  1. platypodes

    platypodes New Member

    Hi everybody, I’m going to try to keep this succinct although there is a lot going on for me right now. I apologize if my writing sounds disjointed because I’m crying pretty profusely as I write this.

    Last night I posted on the forums for the first time and asked if my condition sounds like TMS. Basically, I had a cosmetic procedure on my chin 7 years ago and I have had chronic pain ever since then. It’s almost funny because the area I have pain, the crease of my chin right below my teeth, is so small, yet the pain has just consumed my life. It’s a tight feeling that is sometimes sore as well; the pain is almost invariably mild in the morning and then gets progressively worse as the day goes on. The pain is right where the incision was made. I still have doubts as to whether it is TMS or whether they reattached a muscle in the wrong place or something. I’ve seen so many pain specialists but nothing has helped me.

    I can’t pretend that I never had any problems before the pain began. I have PTSD from a number of childhood traumas. When I was 11 I started to get so anxious I couldn’t attend school, so I was sent to a “therapeutic” school that was anything but therapeutic. I was put on enormous dosages of psychiatric drugs starting at 11 as well (I’m in my late 30s now). Those are just some of the things that happened. My PTSD manifests as an anxiety that makes me feel like I need to flee wherever I am. It’s hard for me to be in one place for any extended amount of time. It’s hard to focus on anything, and the pain has made it much worse. I’ve been in therapy for decades and the PTSD persists.

    I have also had OCD, the very scary kind, ever since I was about 4 or 5 years old. Interestingly, once the chronic chin pain began, my OCD became much milder. I still have obsessive thoughts but they aren’t nearly as debilitating or frightening as the ones I had before the chronic pain set in. It’s like my brain can only focus on one disorder and it picked the pain over the OCD.

    I read through the forums here for hours last night because at this point, reading in bed is one thing that I can almost always do. I am feeling very overwhelmed by the amount of information because everyone seems to have a different approach. Dr. Sarno and the SEP recommend journaling, but others say it was unhelpful. Some say they discovered repressed feelings and others didn’t. Some people find somatic tracking helpful but my brain seems very “unimpressed” with it. I know recovery is different for everyone, but I feel overwhelmed as to what to do (I did begin journaling a little over a week ago).

    I’d be very grateful to hear others’ thoughts, particularly for what to do when you feel completely desperate and hopeless. Thank you.
  2. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    First of all, you did the best thing one can do in your situation: you asked for advice and help.
    Judging by what you described, the root of your problems is in your anxiety. OCD is merely a coping mechanism in response to anxiety. Your pain is caused by your mental issues.

    Claire Weekes is where I would start. She saved me from my anxiety. I recommend audios over books because her voice is magic.
    platypodes likes this.
  3. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Another helpful resource is Irene Lyon's videos on YouTube. It's helped me turn anxiety into enthusiasm and calm.

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