Feeling a bit anxious, and in more pain again

[Moose]

Hi all, not sure why I'm posting this, I guess I'm just feeling in need of a little support. My hand pain is a bit worse again the last few days, after being really good for a couple of weeks. I'm trying to not let it bother me, but I'll admit, after doing so well, it IS bothering me.

I'm feeling rather anxious today. I'm still waiting to hear about my tuition loan and it's coming close to crunch time w.r.t. this - I need to know soon if I can hand in my notice. Also, I've got to deal with my Mum's care - her carers are asking for me to pay them and I don't know where the money is supposed to come from, but it's obviously not coming. And I'm trying to process her Power of Attorney forms but my Dad (they're divorced) hung on to them for 4 months as he was supposedly getting signatures, and I only found out yesterday that he hadn't done half of it. Plus Mondays are hard, there's the long stretch of the whole working week to not look forward to.

Just wanted to vent, sorry.

 

[leonardo999]

Hey Moose
Im not surprised youre feeling a bit anxious today. You do have a lot of things going on at this time... and they all sound like they need attention.
I would say all you can do is one thing at a time. The forms sounds like you need to remind your Dad every couple days.....or go see him if he lives close and help him. Hes probably as daunted as you are by this kind of form. All you can do is your best... and dont panic. Attend to them all in the most logical order that you can manage.
The money issues... cant even advise there..... but hopefully you will get it all in some order soon... and the hand will ease..... fingers crossed.

Good luck.......... Leo

 

[leonardo999]

oh and I hate Mondays too :*( always have.... and thats another thing on my list to attend too.

 

[cirrusnarea]

Hey Moose, same thing I'm going through right now. When the pain lets up I'm on top of the world thinking, I finally conquered it! And then it comes back and dashes my hopes. So, I know how you feel. It kind of taunts you by making you feel better temporarily. I've read that you shouldn't let yourself get too excited when you are not in pain, and not too disappointed when it flares up. But that is easier said than done. I know what you mean about the anxiety too. My pain came back Friday, but I was doing okay. But by Sat I had myself worried again. Today at work I was just really depressed, then when I got home it was moreso anxiety. Anyway, maybe it will help you to know you're not alone. Hopefully we can work this out together.

 

[leonardo999]

Hi Cirrus
Sorry your struggling a bit just now. Although Ive only known about TMS for a couple of weeks.... even before I knew about it.... my problems would flare for a few months and Id feel like I wanted to never wake up again... and then for some reason it would ease.... I would actually feel the pain laving over a few hours or days... and then I was human again... enjoyed stuff...felt happy Trouble was.. just as I was starting to interact with people and looking forward to tomorrow... powwwww it would return... and I can feel it return the same as it leaves... slow and in stages.
Hopefully more knowledge and the right frame of mind and many people can get a grip back on life... and enjoy the day...
Struggling right now too...uro pain... no sleep :*(

 

[Moose]

Hi Leonardo and Cirrus, thanks for the support! Cirrus, I've been trying not to get too optimistic when the pain's been better, for that very reason. One of the good things about having to work at a computer full time is that I can't avoid that trigger when the pain starts to get worse - I have to do my job, and that actually reassures me a bit because even if it does hurt more, I know from experience now that I can still do my job. So I'm trying to put it out of my mind, deal with the emotional/social issues in front of me and meditate.

 

[Forest]

Recovering from TMS is not a linear process. It is great to have a good day, but you may still struggle from time to time. The important thing is to not let those bad days trip you up too much. It can be helpful to have something to turn your focus back to the psychological on times when your symptoms flare up. This can be either reviewing an evidence sheet or simply reading over Sarno's Daily Reminders. Anything that sends a signal to your brain that your symptoms are benign and caused by repressed emotions will help you get through those tough times. Eventually the bad days will be spread further and further apart, until eventually they do not come any more.

Handling the anxiety can always be tough. I have struggled with it for quite some time, and am finally getting a better handle on. I have had a lot of success at simply trying to notice when I am anxious and over-activated instead of trying to not be anxious. Read the article called, Self Monitor for more info. For me, the key to overcoming my anxiety was to identify when it was increasing. I try to notice changes in my body, such as my heart rate increasing and my muscles tightening as a sign that I am becoming activated and need to calm myself down. You may also find this thread by Chickenbone helpful. It is one of my favorites.

 

[Gigi]

I agree, Forest. Success with TMS is not a linear process. I've been having TMS trouble off and on for about a week now, and when it first hit, it was a doozy! Every place I've ever felt TMS pain hurt at once! I've finally realized that I'm anxious about returning to school next week. I really enjoy my job, but the first 3 months of the year are particularly stressful.

Moose, I can sympathize with your struggle. It does help me to go back and read my journal, and to realize just how amazing my recovery has been. But in some ways TMS reminds me of a 12 step program. I'm always right on the edge of another downward spiral. The beautiful part is that I know I can get it to work, and be pain-free again. I'm reading Howard Schubiner's book right now. It's called Unlearn Your Pain. I like the statement that he suggests I repeat before going to bed, "I have MBS (or TMS) and I can cure myself." So the power really does belong to us.

 

[gailnyc]

I've read that you shouldn't let yourself get too excited when you are not in pain, and not too disappointed when it flares up. But that is easier said than done.

This has really been key for me. Learning to even myself out and maintain balance, avoiding getting "activated" (as Forrest says) has been absolutely huge for me. Also keep in mind what Forrest and Gigi said about TMS healing not being linear. You will have ups and downs, while in general moving up. Don't give up!