Feel like I am going backwards

[Aucklander]

Hi All,

I haven't posted in a while, lots has happened since my last few posts. Clearly a lot of emotional things have happened. A break up, relational issues with my dad and guilt and shame over some of my own foolish actions, needless to say TMS has returned and my right hip is sticking out.

I can not stand up straight without forcing it back across. I am not in pain with it sticking out to the side it has me in a permanent limp though and is generally tight.

I haven't stopped physical activity in fact I have ramped up my training and feel great for it.
I intend to resume journaling and suspect that are still many more repressed emotions that I haven't acknowledged and dealt with.

I am wary of allowing my frustrations to deepen the cycle which is a spiral I have experienced before. I know that I am my own biggest critic and need to make some changes. I am not quite sure where to start.

I am open to suggestions here. I look forward to your feedback.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I know that I am my own biggest critic and need to make some changes.

Hi Aucklander,
This is such an important insight. If you can, observe the Inner Critic and name it for what it is, and forgive yourself for its compulsive activities. And don't believe it's messages. It is like a machine, relentlessly watching and rejecting. The practices to deal with the Inner Bully/Inner Critic/Superego are many. I think it is a life long journey. You can tell it to go to hell. You can use humor. You can use empathy that part of you is so concerned about your safety that it is attacking you. You can trace back the attacks to your parents, and address them as an adult in real time. Good luck in this.

Meantime you seem to have a lot of ability to witness, not get dragged into the inner fray about success or not (which the Inner Critic will use!). So I commend you on your work.

Andy B.

 

[Aucklander]

Thanks Andy,

I will work on it and come back to you with an update on my progress.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Auklander, you have a lot of emotional stuff on your plate.
That is causing the TMS pain. Don't let it worry you. Keep exercising because it appears that
your pain is not structural but psychological.

If you haven't yet, start the Structured Educational Program, free in that subforum.
It will guide you through TMS knowledge and healing.

 

[Aucklander]

Hi Walt,

I did DR Schubiners unlearn your pain program. It was very helpful and I was pain free and straight for a few months. I think I need to refresh myself and get back into regular journaling, learning to forgive myself etc and see where that takes me. This has to be an ongoing process to keep the tension at bay by acknowledging my emotions and dealing with them at the time instead of bottling them up. Its so much easier said than done sometimes.

Thanks for your support.