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Feel like crying when having a bad pain day, is that harmful to my recovery?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Dino's mom, Dec 11, 2020.

  1. Dino's mom

    Dino's mom New Member

    Hi all,
    When I have a bad day, I just want to cry & feel sorry for myself. Is this harming my recovery? Should I smile through this, ignore this? Anyone else ever feel this way?
    Any words of wisdom would be appreciated!
    Thanks so much.
    TrustIt, Sparrow and Balsa11 like this.
  2. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    Crying is a release and it's healthy to allow emotions to pass through you. It's not self pity. It's self compassion and being human. When you ignore or pretend you're ok when you're not, that's repression. Repression mode is what keeps the TMS going. Emotions are safe and the message that needs to be communicated to the brain, is that you are ok feeling your emotions. They are not dangerous, so the brain doesn't have to alert you anymore with symptoms.
    TrustIt, Balsa11 and Ellen like this.
  3. sorella23

    sorella23 New Member

    I find that my pain escalates right before bed. The only thing that consistently relieves it is crying. I know it upsets me husband and he will try to comfort me which helps sometimes but sometimes I need to do it in private.
  4. Dino's mom

    Dino's mom New Member

    Thank you so much. That’s comforting. I really appreciate your words & support!
  5. Dino's mom

    Dino's mom New Member

    Thank you. I get that totally.
  6. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    I just wanted to add something important. The key is to shift focus from the symptoms to the actual emotions. What are you really feeling and what is the sadness or anger or guilt or fear etc. really about? In other words, if the tears could talk what would they say? Really inquire about that because therein lies the actual cause of the tears and symptoms.
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  7. sorella23

    sorella23 New Member

    So true miffybunny! My crying usually starts out of frustration over the pain but quickly moves to all the things that are overwhelming me in my life. Last night I tried to write a list thinking I might be able to surpass my crying jag but the crying still became necessary.
    Balsa11 and miffybunny like this.
  8. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    When I was recovering, I discovered that crying was actually one of the most therapeutic things I could do. The problem was being able to get myself in 'state' to cry, because obviously being a toxic type male, it isn't easy to conjure up..... So I have tried numerous things, memorized certain movie scenes, book endings,etc. that can provoke it

    When I can make it happen, it is like "rain of healing and forgiveness" and whatever symptom I was having went away FAST

    BTW.. I am not bagging on myself for being toxic... just aware of that particular mental frame
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  9. sorella23

    sorella23 New Member

    Baseball65, I hear you. I can cry fairly easily but am a female who was raised in a household where crying was not met with shame. My husband on the other hand cried rarely though he is a sentimental guy. We do the young boys of our world a disjustice by shaming them for crying. At least you are aware. Good luck with those years!
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  10. Beawake

    Beawake New Member

    I cry every day almost . Most of the time its over pain and at times its just a release of whats emotions are inside and i dont know always why i need to cry but i just do, the problem is i het stuck in it and feel sad all day then
    Balsa11 likes this.
  11. FKemp

    FKemp Newcomer

    I feel like crying is important since it's an outlet for all the emotions that can overwhelm you at times. It helps you to get rid of those.
    TrustIt likes this.
  12. TrustIt

    TrustIt Well known member

    thank goodness for all of you who posted on this. i cry almost every day, too. sometimes more than once. i thought it was self-pity, too, and does feel that way, but i know it's deeper than that. sometimes thoughts come up around things in the past, tho i have not been able to get to the core issue. i do know it makes me feel better, if only temporarily. i have not been one to cry in my life. buck up buttercup is my motto. now, i just let-er-rip, although i do it in private as well. my husband doesn't feel well either (CFS) and the last thing i want to do is burden him with worry over me. we both know when the other is having more trouble than usual and are there for each other, but mostly just try to carry on with our lives and not whine. that is so hard to do when one is SO uncomfortable!
    Balsa11 likes this.

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