I am a typical tmser and 22 years old. Everything this screwed up sadistic cartoon I call life throws at me I stuff it in. I have been doing this tms stuff for a year now with some improvement I would say 20% better. I am dealing with severe lower back, sciatica, neck and shoulder pain. Right now at work I deal with an extremely condescending boss who I work next to everyday all day and I'm am about to quit my job because I've become so filled with rage and anger it has made my life ridden with pain. My boss reminds me of my abusive father whom still to this day is the same way. I long for his love and acceptance and self sacrifice my own happiness to get it and in return not expressing my emotions. My mother also died of cancer 2 months ago and I am still grieving. I am just so lost and am tired of acting like I am okay. Tired of being in pain. Tired of watching my friends and brothers enjoy their pain free lives while I'm a shut in and can't do anything except have pity for my miserable life. I also suffer from addiction issues which I have been sober for a year and a half now. My life has just seemed like one big roller coaster ride when the fuck can I get off the ride and enjoy the scenery. This is rare for me to post I just had to speak about it. Thank you for everybody on this post it is the only reason why I haven't thrown in the towel and given up.