RobertHodgson
New Member
I have had TMS for two years. Over this time I have read Dr. Sarno's book many times. I fully understand TMS and fully accept I have TMS. I have however only recently started the programme on the TMS wiki. I have found the meditation helpful and at times become very emotional while journaling. Through this process I have learnt a lot about myself- for example only yesterday I realised that I am a perfectionist, all my life I have been messy so never realised but when I play sport, which I love, I don't actually enjoy it while playing because nothing I do is ever good enough etc. All of which I believe is helping me to get better from TMS. However I have today uncovered something I feel curtail in my condition- that of FEAR.
I recently posted a question asking what I feared? I have always been an anxious person and fear most things. Despite appearing 6.2 with a stocky build I have always feared silly things like social situations. I would never be able to approach a girl I didn't know and ask her out etc and I get incredibly nervous before a sports match. Recently I managed to equate this personality trait of mine to TMS from a post I found on the wiki from 2011 by 'Jordan':
"One morning I woke up and read an article that focused on fear. It hit me like a lightening bolt. All this time I kept trying to pound the concept of TMS into my mind, kept focusing on the actual concept, the repressed emotions, the anger, the rage. The thing is, our mind already has this information. We understand it, this is why after reading Sarno's book most of us feel at least some relief or at least an unfamiliar sensation. It is my belief that this is due to a reduction in FEAR. As soon as you read Sarno's book, your fear of structural abnormalities and life long pain has been significantly reduced. It is the fear that fuels TMS and supports it's perpetuation. Sure anger, rage, repressed emotions and all of these issues could have been the initial cause but without fear TMS has no gasoline left in it's tank.
Whether or not you realize it, if you still have lingering pain it is because somewhere in your mind you also have lingering fear. This fear is then causing doubt and destroying your belief in TMS. I have found that it is almost impossible to figure out what events and emotions are causing your pain and the good news is, it's not necessary. If you really ask yourself do I have fear I think you will find the answer to be true. We all fear something in our lives and TMS will utilize this fear to ignite itself. Once it ignites, it becomes a viscous cycle. Not only do your old fears exist but now you have new fears generated simply due to the symptoms of TMS.
The new focus should be on your fear and acknowledging it. Understand, that your fear is the remaining factor that is causing doubt in your mind. Doubt of the pain being psychosomatic. This fear and doubt may be more apparent to others. For me personally, I completley and wholeheartedly believed in TMS. I couldn't understand if my belief system was so strong why was my pain just as resilient. It because the fear creates doubt whether it's a large or small amount is irrelevant. Size doesn't matter. If there is even a speck, TMS is able to continue. Once I shifted all my focus to fear I worked on telling myself that there is no reason to be afraid. I would explain that fear is causing doubt and once I removed my fear my body would return back to normal. This new simple thought process completley eliminated my pain."
I have recently realised that my pain syndrome is being fuelled by the fear of it. But after watching this very beneficial video;
on fear I have realised that I am not just afraid of the pain. But afraid of the change back to not having pain. I have had TMS for two years now so I have become accustomed to it. I had a lot of psychological problems before the syndrome and I wonder if I fear returning to them.
I guess I have to accept that I can't live my life in fear either way. I can't fear the actual pain because that is fuelling the pain itself. So without the fear there would be no pain. And I can't fear not having the pain because that is holding me back in life. I must think that I am a stronger person now and can deal with my emotions. and that I am in control of my life. When I think rationally like this I no longer fear TMS or not having TMS. For I am in control.
(on a separate note, back before I really knew I had TMS my pain used to temporally get better when I watched motivational videos on youtube about not having fear and being a champion etc. Proof that fear is fuelling my TMS!!)
If anyone has any tips to tackle my fear please let me know. For the time being I am going to take "Jordans" advice and acknowledge that my fear is causing my TMS to remain, once I know no longer fear it the pain will go. That I will be happier without TMS. TMS is harmless. And I will get better.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Hodgson, age 20, England UK
I recently posted a question asking what I feared? I have always been an anxious person and fear most things. Despite appearing 6.2 with a stocky build I have always feared silly things like social situations. I would never be able to approach a girl I didn't know and ask her out etc and I get incredibly nervous before a sports match. Recently I managed to equate this personality trait of mine to TMS from a post I found on the wiki from 2011 by 'Jordan':
"One morning I woke up and read an article that focused on fear. It hit me like a lightening bolt. All this time I kept trying to pound the concept of TMS into my mind, kept focusing on the actual concept, the repressed emotions, the anger, the rage. The thing is, our mind already has this information. We understand it, this is why after reading Sarno's book most of us feel at least some relief or at least an unfamiliar sensation. It is my belief that this is due to a reduction in FEAR. As soon as you read Sarno's book, your fear of structural abnormalities and life long pain has been significantly reduced. It is the fear that fuels TMS and supports it's perpetuation. Sure anger, rage, repressed emotions and all of these issues could have been the initial cause but without fear TMS has no gasoline left in it's tank.
Whether or not you realize it, if you still have lingering pain it is because somewhere in your mind you also have lingering fear. This fear is then causing doubt and destroying your belief in TMS. I have found that it is almost impossible to figure out what events and emotions are causing your pain and the good news is, it's not necessary. If you really ask yourself do I have fear I think you will find the answer to be true. We all fear something in our lives and TMS will utilize this fear to ignite itself. Once it ignites, it becomes a viscous cycle. Not only do your old fears exist but now you have new fears generated simply due to the symptoms of TMS.
The new focus should be on your fear and acknowledging it. Understand, that your fear is the remaining factor that is causing doubt in your mind. Doubt of the pain being psychosomatic. This fear and doubt may be more apparent to others. For me personally, I completley and wholeheartedly believed in TMS. I couldn't understand if my belief system was so strong why was my pain just as resilient. It because the fear creates doubt whether it's a large or small amount is irrelevant. Size doesn't matter. If there is even a speck, TMS is able to continue. Once I shifted all my focus to fear I worked on telling myself that there is no reason to be afraid. I would explain that fear is causing doubt and once I removed my fear my body would return back to normal. This new simple thought process completley eliminated my pain."
I have recently realised that my pain syndrome is being fuelled by the fear of it. But after watching this very beneficial video;
I guess I have to accept that I can't live my life in fear either way. I can't fear the actual pain because that is fuelling the pain itself. So without the fear there would be no pain. And I can't fear not having the pain because that is holding me back in life. I must think that I am a stronger person now and can deal with my emotions. and that I am in control of my life. When I think rationally like this I no longer fear TMS or not having TMS. For I am in control.
(on a separate note, back before I really knew I had TMS my pain used to temporally get better when I watched motivational videos on youtube about not having fear and being a champion etc. Proof that fear is fuelling my TMS!!)
If anyone has any tips to tackle my fear please let me know. For the time being I am going to take "Jordans" advice and acknowledge that my fear is causing my TMS to remain, once I know no longer fear it the pain will go. That I will be happier without TMS. TMS is harmless. And I will get better.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Hodgson, age 20, England UK
