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Fear of going to the Doctor/Hypochondriasis

lexylucy

lexylucy

Well known member
I have had a terrible pain on and off in my gall bladder region for the past two weeks. I have had this pain one other time last year for one month after eating something gross in a restaurant. This time was the same feeling. I ordered something in a very gnarly mexican place- I really wish I would have sent it back. Or not eaten it. Anyway I do not know if this is TMS related. I have been doing the SEP for the past couple of weeks and I have had some good results with my original low back/sacrum/hip pain. Definitely have lifts where I am free of pain and I am so thankful for this. However I have been experiencing strange headaches and things and now this gall bladder pain. I really have no idea if there is an emotional counterpart to it. Maybe stress about finances? Or maybe the Pavlovian syndrome where I had a restaurant trigger a similar reaction. I don't remember being stressed at the time other than being in a new city.

Regardless, I think I should go to the doctor and have it checked out. I understand I would have to find a primary care physician and get a referral for a specialist who can do an ultrasound. Sounds like a lot of time before I will have any idea as to what's going on. I just want to tell on myself - I haven't been to a real doctor for a physical in quite sometime. Western medicine is not my favorite. I had some very bad experiences with doctors/hospitals/surgeries as a child and young adult. But this type of hypochondriasis- where I worry that I have a disease but I get too afraid to go to the doctor-This can be a cycle which soaks up my energy... I think it's even more distracting than TMS pain symptoms at times. This kind of "what if, what if" can be very occupying.

Does anyone else struggle with this??

Thanks,
Lexy
 
*Raises hand* Me too, Lexy. Going to the doc is a scary thing for me. It doesn't help that I used to be a nurse either. I tell myself that should alleviate my anxiety but alas…it only seems to fuel.

But back to your comment about this being a cycle which soaks up energy….boom! There it is again - TMS using fear as a vessel to preoccupy.

However, if you need to get this checked out - by all means, do so. The other thing I do is set a time line. Eg…"If this symptom has not abated in 3 days or worsens, I will make an appointment." (Ditto if the presence of the symptom is unwavering.) I've not once had to drag my aching butt in using that criteria. Without fail, the symptom disappears, fades or shifts.

Personally, I doubt that nasty food is still haunting you. My guess is on TMS. ESPECIALLY because TMS knows you're on to it and for those of us savvy to its wiles, it seems to create extra interesting symptoms. My other observation is the fact that you've had moments of being pain free.

Regarding the doctor thing. Being in a new area, I am missing my old doc. I had a very comfortable relationship with him and he allayed my fears. So, I am taking recommendations here and will begin doctor shopping so we do have a familiar face in the event of an emergency. I admit, I hardly keep to any regular schedule for wellness visits. part of this is because of my anxiety and the other part is almost always, I get some new diagnosis depending on what's aching.

Anyhoo. That's my .02 worth. :)
 
lexylucy said:
I had some very bad experiences with doctors/hospitals/surgeries as a child and young adult. But this type of hypochondriasis- where I worry that I have a disease but I get too afraid to go to the doctor-This can be a cycle which soaks up my energy... I think it's even more distracting than TMS pain symptoms at times. This kind of "what if, what if" can be very occupying.

Does anyone else struggle with this??
Click to expand...

I've had this EXACT same problem for over a decade so I know what you're talking about. You worry over symptoms but you're too nervous to go to the doctor because of all the bad experiences, misdiagnosis and arrogant comments made by medical practitioners. Its to the point sometimes where you worry more over whether or not to go to the Dr. and what they're going to say or do rather than than the actual symptoms themselves. Looking back though, most of my previous problems were TMS equivalents (probably why they could never give me a straight answer as to what was wrong) and resolved on their own. Right now my current struggle is various pelvic pains, but I've just stopped going to Drs.
 
Thank you sooo much North Star and Jason! :) I went in to a deep meditation the other night for 2 hours and I felt a wealth of feelings come up around this gall bladder pain.. So much stuff rushing through me. I feel so much better now :)
I asked myself what I was feeling - what ELSE at the time the pain began and I realized I felt some terrible feelings of loneliness and isolation and I was also having anger come up at a friend and jealousy. I feel better now and the pain is gone :)
 
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