Day 12 Favorite memory as a kid and TMS update

[cookie_777]

Hi all,

I know I wasn't supposed to update here but i want to anyway. As an update, I went to see Ira Rashbaum today and was confirmed my TMS diagnoses. (yay) I sort of still have my tiny doubts, but he helped push the major ones away. I still have pain though. It moved to my lower back. Trying HARD to not focus on it.

My favorite memory as a child was - okay so my father used to drink a lot. But he was also a doctor, and a really nice funny guy, he just wasn't there much growing up because of fights with my mother, etc, etc. He passed away when I was 11.

Anyway, some nights he would get home really late, and he and I would stay up playing scrabble, watching football (soccer), or playing poker with the scrabble blocks for the gambling part of it. My favorite was that he would teach me karate. He was a karate teacher so he'd stay up with me - we would move all the chairs and tables to one side of the room, and then practice.

It's one of those bittersweet things- his and my experience, but I think that was a pretty good memory. I miss him.

Thanks for listening!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I know I wasn't supposed to update here

Interesting comment, Cookie - look how easily your brain tells you what you should and shouldn't do - about something that, if it even exists, would be a guideline rather than a rule. More importantly, look at how it takes energy away from your message. It seems like a form of negative distraction (similar to pain) that allows you to feel bad about yourself on some level, however insignificant it might be.

It's part of the pattern that so many of us find ourselves in, because we're so good at beating ourselves up.

Here's some advice from long-long-long-time and original member Lori, something which I need to remind myself of, all the time:

Don't "should" on yourself!
​

 

[cookie_777]

Interesting comment, Cookie - look how easily your brain tells you what you should and shouldn't do - about something that, if it even exists, would be a guideline rather than a rule. More importantly, look at how it takes energy away from your message. It seems like a form of negative distraction (similar to pain) that allows you to feel bad about yourself on some level, however insignificant it might be.

It's part of the pattern that so many of us find ourselves in, because we're so good at beating ourselves up.

Here's some advice from long-long-long-time and original member Lori, something which I need to remind myself of, all the time:

Don't "should" on yourself!
​

thanks Jan.. I didn't even realize that

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Cookie. I'm so glad you have such warm and fuzzy memories of your father. Apparently there was some problem between him and your mother. You might try journaling about that. You don't mention your mother.

Try to increase your belief in TMS to total, 100 percent. I healed from severe back pain by discovering repressed anger going back to when my parents divorced when I was seven.

A few weeks ago I began to feel pain in my right ankle. I know I had not hurt it but believed it was somehow structural. Two night ago I woke up with the pain and told myself it was TMS, caused by worrying about financial problems. God bless... the pain went away and has not returned.

 

[cookie_777]

Hi, Cookie. I'm so glad you have such warm and fuzzy memories of your father. Apparently there was some problem between him and your mother. You might try journaling about that. You don't mention your mother.

Try to increase your belief in TMS to total, 100 percent. I healed from severe back pain by discovering repressed anger going back to when my parents divorced when I was seven.

A few weeks ago I began to feel pain in my right ankle. I know I had not hurt it but believed it was somehow structural. Two night ago I woke up with the pain and told myself it was TMS, caused by worrying about financial problems. God bless... the pain went away and has not returned.

Thanks Walt