Fatigue

Lojos

Lojos

Peer Supporter
This is my 2nd time on here,previously 3years ago.I am struggling at the moment with unsteadiness while walking.I had a fall about 4 months ago due to balance issues and use a walking stick or walker for longer distances.I do have spondylolisthesis that is mild but has given me weakness in my legs.
This year I have gone thru my 4th lot of cancer having had a mastectomy at the beginning of the year and travelling twice a week to the hospital for drainage of the clotted blood..During the fall I caused somehow for a large hematoma to develop which I had ‘washed out’in the theatre.A few days later I developed a ‘super bug’ and had to have more surgery .This infection is flesh eating and has a mortality rate of 50%.After trialling antibiotics sometimes 9 a day I was put on one which can cause heart problems but is working.Every one has commented on my bravery but little do they know I have chronic airways disease and damaged lymph glands from all the radiation I have had.
My main concern is dealing with this fatigue I have .I try to go out somewhere each morning and then rest for the afternoon.
 
@Lojos
You also mentioned your age in the last post. It was around 80 that my Mom began to have some fatigue and need her little pm snooze and she was perfectly healthy-ish then.
We’ve had some great age rage posts in the recent past, so don’t discount how super pissed off your little inner gremlin might be about the load you are facing on top of aging, not being exactly the same “person” your inner image retains (and probably consciously realizing that you are, it’s only the package that changes).
You also mention the division of people commenting about your strength while you mention physical weaknesses now.. do you also feel emotionally “weaker” - I imagine the fatigue isn’t only physical, it must be mental.
Do you have anyone who will listen to you (of course we will, a given) so you can express these things safely and without judgement or comment? To help you allow those feelings and to hear, really hear you? It might be a real help at this moment of your life.
As Claire Weekes would advise, just accept the fatigue. Let it be a time to just be. A reminder from the universe that you are not expected to do anything in life to be needed and wanted and loved in this world. That you have a place, no matter what.
Hugs to you,
 
Thank you for your wise words.I do tend to self flagellate.It really is trying to find what fatigue is normal for my age.
 
My neighbor, 78 years old, has been fighting metastatic bone cancer for 25 years. She had chemo in January 2023 that left her in a wheelchair, given 2 months to live. A very optimistic person, she decided to start moving. She now walks without a cane around the neighborhood, goes grocery shopping, no longer needs help with house chores.
Needless to say, she checked out of hospice care a while ago. The more she moves, the more her energy returns. I wish you great luck in your fight!
 
Dear @Lojos, I'm going to echo @Cactusflower and say that if you are repressing rage instead of expressing rage, that's where we always want to start, because it's Sarno 101.

The thing is, I'm reviewing your history and I don't see any mention of Dr Sarno at all, which makes me curious if you are on board with, or if you are even familiar with, the rage/repression theory that is at the heart of what we do here?

Most people end up here after reading Sarno, so my first question obviously has to be if you did that? My second question for you is, did you ever "do the work" of addressing rage and repression?
 
No I haven’t read Sarno but have read ‘The Way Out’ and followed Nichole Sachs and Dan Buglio.Jan ,I don’t think I have repressed rage.​
 
Maybe I do have anger.I am annoyed at having caught this infection from the hospital and not received an apology.Also not being able to improve my fitness and muscle strength in my legs from spondylolisthesis having done rehab twice.
My main concern and frustration is my lack of balance ,having suffered bouts of BPPV.
 
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Lojos said:
I don’t think I have repressed rage.
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JanAtheCPA said:
some help here
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One of my the most subtle understandings that most of us have to learn from the Sarno work is about "Perceived Anger' vs. "Repressed Anger".
Many times a new person will say what @Lojos said here. I have met many people with Chronic pain or Mindbody symptoms who say the same.

"I am a nice person...I don't get angry...I don't hold resentments...I am a Christian and forgive everybody immediately"

I believe them. I am not like that, but I do believe them. Dr Sarno taught us and got more and more detailed about it as his personal studies went on that the 'Perceived' realm is usually NOT where the symptom imperative was generated, but in the unconscious.....to which we have NO access. None. Zero. It is a safe locked away in fortress, behind armed guards!
If and when we try to go looking down there, the guards warn us away "Nothing to see here...just a bunch of psycho Mumbo Jumbo....move on citizen!"

Usually with intellectual disdain, panic type symptoms or most often Pain.

We are often told to make anger lists. I encourage everybody to do this as well....Why? If it's not the real culprit, what's the point?
Well, it lets us see on paper how many resentments. miffed, kerfuffles we are in and not aware of moment to moment.
It is like seeing the tip of an iceberg...If we can see THAT much, there is probably 10x as much...20x as much.

Also..it sends a message to our unconscious that we know what it is doing! And Sarno called it 'blowing the cover on a covert operation'...if we let IT know we know what it is up to and that the ruse is not working, it ceases.

That is the 'mechanics' of the deal.

peace
 
Thanks, Marco! I knew we could count on you! That helps remind me how you also have reminded us of the need - make that the requirement - to look to our closest relationships for the true sources (and the most repressed ones) of our rage. Not just present ones, past relationships as well.

Being angry at your current situation is just part of the TMS brain mechanism. It's a great coverup for the real rage that's hidden much deeper.
 
“Self-flagellate”
That is pretty much 100% sign of repressed anger. You learned self-punishment somewhere.
Your inner little gremlin is a Me! Me! Me! Little thing -it wants what it wants, thinks you are always right and should always be right.
So why self-punishment?
There is always something to explore with TMS!
 
Thank you all for your responses. I also had to rehome my dog after I was unable to care for him -that was 9 months ago and it is heart breaking.
This is where I am in a quandary -Nicole Sachs lists journaling,Alan Gordon doesn’t neither does Dan Buglio.
 
Basically, it is up to you to choose your method. Sach’s, Gordon and Buglio don’t really use all of Sarno’s methods based on their own personal experiences. The one difference is that Sach’s worked directly with Sarno and he thought her methods were simply another way to get at the repressed rage. Gordon and Buglio are more fear based (Sarno covers that too!).
Choose one method and work with it and see how you progress over time.
 
Cactusflower said:
Basically, it is up to you to choose your method. Sach’s, Gordon and Buglio don’t really use all of Sarno’s methods based on their own personal experiences. The one difference is that Sach’s worked directly with Sarno and he thought her methods were simply another way to get at the repressed rage. Gordon and Buglio are more fear based (Sarno covers that too!).
Choose one method and work with it and see how you progress over time.
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I didn’t realise that I had actually posted on here 5years ago ,that is the time I saw a neurosurgeon who wanted to operate on my back with a laminectomy and fusion.It is the constant fear of being off balance and falling ,as I have done several times that is my main concern
 
I feel like you might be stuck in what I refer to as YBS: Yes, But... Syndrome. This is another brain trick to keep you in fear and safely stuck doing nothing.

It's ultimately your choice, to take action or stay where your fearful brain wants you to be.

My personal belief is that in order to make progress, you have to reject victimhood and and embrace emotional vulnerability.

Nicole goes with emotional vulnerability. Alan and Dan are more appealing to folks who would rather avoid the emotional work. People certainly get results with both, because one size does not fit all. If there were just one answer, there would be no need for this discussion forum.

I'll repeat something I found written on a piece of paper the other day, which is this question: are you fighting to stay sick, or are you fighting to get well?
 
Jan ,
Let me explain more clearly my situation I had been ,I think,positive about my situation regarding the cancer until 2weeks ago .Then for some reason I started thinking negatively and fell into the victim mentality.I was very ill in hospital with the infection .And the whole saga involved me driving to the hospital for treatment 33times.The fall 4months ago was the beginning of the downward spiral of the cancer 2operations in a week for the haematoma caused by my fall.Family were away the month when I was in and out of hospital so I coped by myself.The wound has not healed yet -3months the surgeon said, and I have had nurses daily come in and dress it.Now it’s twice a week.I have kept myself busy by going out for a coffee most mornings and friends have offered their help but I prefer to cope myself.
Maybe this sounds like a pity party but it only started 2weeks ago.
 
Lojos said:
Jan ,
Let me explain more clearly my situation I had been ,I think,positive about my situation regarding the cancer until 2weeks ago .Then for some reason I started thinking negatively and fell into the victim mentality.I was very ill in hospital with the infection .And the whole saga involved me driving to the hospital for treatment 33times.The fall 4months ago was the beginning of the downward spiral of the cancer 2operations in a week for the haematoma caused by my fall.Family were away the month when I was in and out of hospital so I coped by myself.The wound has not healed yet -3months the surgeon said, and I have had nurses daily come in and dress it.Now it’s twice a week.I have kept myself busy by going out for a coffee most mornings and friends have offered their help but I prefer to cope myself.
Maybe this sounds like a pity party but it only started 2weeks ago.
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Sorry for what You are going through. My sympathyit does not sound like a pity party to me. All the best
 
Dear @Lojos, my apologies for not replying sooner. I knew I had an unfinished conversation somewhere, but it took a while to find it.

So look, I in no way want to minimize the medical trauma you've been through, recently and also very recently. And let's address that timeline: you're saying that the recent trauma has been two (now three) weeks? My dear, give yourself a break! Of course you're fatigued! Not everything is TMS, and your body has been through a LOT. Hell, the summer I had walking pneumonia I was told that I would feel fatigued for at LEAST a month, even as the miracle drugs reduced the obvious symptoms rapidly - and at the time I was only 67 and this was the only health issue I had. And good grief, I felt it! I also hated it, but I had to accept it, do everything I was told to do, and be patient.

Victimhood is anathema to recovery from both emotional and physical symptoms. I would advise drop-kicking that shit to the curb ASAP.

Pressure is a great source of emotionally-based symptoms, because it generates self-judgement and leads to repression. Be mindful of the pressure you put on yourself, and practice kindness and patience for yourself instead.

During your necessary recovery, if you want to spend some time to work on your TMS-based issues, I still think that taking an honest look at deeply repressed rage is the way to go.

And for crying out loud, please don't invalidate the desire of your friends to help out! I recently read a terrific article about how damaging this is, both to yourself and to your friends. If people offer to help, it's because people in general want to feel like they are of use. You have no problem asking for help from a bunch of anonymous strangers on an internet forum! (and perhaps you should look at that incongruity?). Letting someone help out doesn't have to be a lot and it doesn't have to be invasive of your privacy. Just one minor errand or household chore off your to-do list is all it takes.

Rejecting offered help is just another form of self-judgement, self-flagellation, and another reason to feel like a victim. I'm pretty sure that you deserve better.

~Jan
 
Thank you Jan for your reply.I posted on here but unfortunately deleted it by mistake.Anyhow I am on the mend and the wound will be healed within the 12weeks as the surgeon indicated
 
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